Duty as Usual
by CrystalOfEllinon
Summary: COBRA is plotting, Beach Head has PT, Scarlett and Snake Eyes are fraternizing, greenshirts are traumatized, military engagements are met, and Storm Shadow might even get a little action *nudge nudge, wink wink* . It's duty as usual. SE/S, Stormy/OC
1. Chapter 1

I don't own G.I. Joe, though it would be really awesome if Hasbro decided that they didn't want the rights anymore and sent them my way. While I'm dreaming, I want a flying purple unicorn and Hugh Jackman as my pool boy.

This is going to be a longer, multi-chapter story. I don't know exactly how long, because things I write tend to gain some sort of pseudo-life and dictate their own length. I just write stuff down as it bounces around in my skull. But this one will be long, I know that much.

Snake Eyes waited for the sentries below him to turn back on their beat and move out of sight around the corner of the building. The two men below him stepped just past his hiding place, then turned crisply and strode slowly back the other way.

Snake waited until they turned the corner and vanished from sight. It would take them twenty-three seconds to complete their beat one way, and the same to reach his current location again. More than enough time.

Hooking his knees over one of the bare support beams that ran along the underside of the eves, he swung down, dangling upside-down above the window directly below him. He kept his body flexed just enough to keep out of view, just in case someone was in the room.

He slid his knife out and tilted the highly-polished blade _just_ so, scoping out the room past the window. Empty. Excellent.

He slid the knife away, and let himself dangle straight down to examine the lock on the bulletproof window he'd chosen as his entry point. For such a high-security base, the locks were of surprisingly low quality-basic Kwik-Set cylinders. Snake slid a pair of lock picks from his right wrist cuff. A few quick twists later, and the window was open. He slid the lock picks away, edged the window open.

He'd spent maybe twenty seconds so far. He was still good on time. He pulled himself back up into the eaves, grabbed hold of a beam, and unhooked his legs. He swung easily down through the window, landing silently on his toes.

He shut the window behind him, and slid across the small office to the door. Dropping lightly to his belly, he examined the hallway outside through the half-inch gap at the bottom of the door. If he had the guard schedule right…

He did. The staccato sound of boots sounded, faintly, then louder. The sentry stumped down the hallway, turned a corner, and was gone.

Snake edged the door open just enough to slip through, and immediately trotted down the hall in the opposite direction from the sentry. A left, and _there _was the storage closet he'd remembered from the blueprints. He slipped inside, and held himself absolutely still and silent as a pair of sentries trooped past.

Right. He looked up.

He was on the top floor of the administration building. Above a suspended ceiling were bare metal support beams, and in the storage closet the contractors who'd built this place hadn't bothered with ceiling tiles. Snake pulled himself up, and he was in the narrow space between the suspended ceiling and the roof.

He moved easily, silently along the support beams. Gauging his location, he paused above a specific ceiling tile. There was a light fixture here, wires and a chain running up through a small hole drilled through the tile to the beam above. Snake swung down to get a look of the room below.

Yep. This was it. He was hanging directly above the high-security, highly-guarded, need-to-know-and-only-about-thirty-people-needed-to records room. According to his mission briefing, there were enough high-value military secrets in the room directly below him to send any enemy agent that managed to lay hands on a _tenth_ of them into an absolute _frenzy._

He evaluated his position, and then moved ten feet to his right. Sliding the blade of his knife under the edge of one of the tiles, he levered it up enough to slip his fingers underneath and lift it carefully, silently, out of place.

He dropped down through, landing directly behind the two armed guards who stood at attention a few feet in front of the single, highly-reinforced door. A knife to the throat of the first, drive his elbow sideways into the windpipe of the second before he could get a cry out, and he was done.

"Excellent work." General Hawk's amused voice sounded from behind him. Snake turned, came to attention. The two guards behind him picked themselves up, the first touching a hand to his neck and examining it for blood; Snake eyes smiled at that. He'd not even nicked the poor Marine, just tapped him with the flat of his knife.

"You've made your point." General Leighton's voice was dry.

Hawk smiled. "Any specific security suggestions for the General, Sergeant?"

*Cut back the treeline, higher quality locks on the windows, and fire your contractor, sir.* Snake signed. *Suspended ceilings…* He shook his head. *Too easy.*

Hawk translated. General Leighton nodded slowly. "What about my personnel? They didn't seem to be as effective as their units promised." He glared at the two men standing by the door.

*Your men are doing their job fine.* Snake reassured him. *But they're spread too thin…outside, you've got almost a forty second window between patrols. Inside, it's twenty seconds.*

As the commando's words were translated, the General nodded, something like victory in his eyes. "I told the President that I needed more security personnel…but he thought that the fewer people knew the location of this facility, the better." He turned to face Hawk, and held out a hand. Hawk shook it. "Thanks, Abernathy. I owe you a beer."

"Two." Hawk said dryly. "One for the golf game last month, one for this favor."

General Leighton grimaced. "I was hoping you'd forgotten about that…very well." He turned to face Snake Eyes. "Any chance I could coax you away from the Tomahawk, Sergeant? I imagine that I could swing you a fairly hefty pay raise if you transferred."

Snake Eyes shook his head. Hawk chuckled. "Sorry, Leighton. Snake Eyes pulls down enough with his hazard pay that I doubt he'll bribe easily. He wouldn't bribe anyways, for that matter."

Snake Eyes smiled, and shook his head again. Hawk nodded at him. "Dismissed. Good job, Snake Eyes, as always. See you back at the Pit."

Snake saluted both generals crisply before heading out of the compound, to Wild Bill and the waiting 'chopper. He passed several shocked-looking sentries; they'd been told that he was testing the security tonight, and had been given his description. Judging from the mildly-angry, incredulous muttering that followed him, they hadn't really thought that he'd be able to get inside the complex, let alone the administration building.

Wild Bill was dozing with his feet propped up on the Tomahawk's control yoke when Snake reached the 'chopper. The pilot tipped his ever-present cowboy hat back and grinned at the ninja as Snake fastened his restraint webbing.

"How'd it go?" Snake gave him the thumbs-up. "Yeah, I didn't think any of them yahoos'd catch hide nor hair of ya." Wild Bill started up the 'chopper, and the whine of the rotors almost drowned out the pilot's next words. "We'll be back to our stompin' grounds in an hour. Unless you wanted me to take a spin through the drive-thru for some grub?" The pilot grinned toothily. "Bet I could get this bird right up to the window, too."

*NO.* Snake smiled, laughing silently. Wild Bill was just overconfident enough to try a stunt like that, too. *Please don't.*

"Aww. Fine." Wild Bill tweaked the controls, and the ground dropped away.

Snake settled back and quickly fell into a doze; he, like other experienced soldiers, could more or less sleep anywhere, and through any sort of commotion that wasn't immediately life-threatening. He'd also been in the military long enough to treat sleep as something you did whenever you could, because you just didn't know if something would come up and keep you on your feet for the next forty-eight to seventy-two hours.

He woke as Wild Bill brought them in for a landing; the experienced pilot set them down as gently as a feather. Snake hopped out of the chopper and waved to the pilot.

"Night, Snakes." Wild Bill glanced at his watch. "Well, what's left of it. Suppose Beach'd let us off PT come mornin'?"

Snake Eyes snorted. The day that BeachHead let anyone off of PT for something as trivial as sleep deprivation was the day he'd eat his own boots. _After_ a week's deployment in a swamp.

"Yeah, I was 'fraid of that." Wild Bill grimaced. "I'd better go turn in for a few hours then. See ya come mornin'." He glanced at his watch again. "Well, come daylight. Technically it's already tomorrow."

The pilot yawned and moved off. Snake headed towards his own quarters.

Most of the Joe team shared bunkrooms, like most military branches. Snake Eyes, however, had managed to convince Hawk to give him his own room. Given his rank, his service record, and the fact that the senior officer knew that his commando was uncomfortable sharing quarters, Snake had been given a small but private bunkroom complete with a tiny but serviceable bathroom.

Actually, the ninja suspected that some of his fellow Joes were glad that they didn't have to share quarters with him; he knew that most of the team found him intimidating, even terrifying. Plus, the private wall space gave him room for his really sizable collection of combat knives.

He keyed his entry code and slipped inside. He removed his visor and peeled off his mask, and unbuckled his utility belt.

A muffled snore came from the bed; he smiled. Scarlett was sprawled on her belly, the blankets pulled up to her chin. On paper, Counterintelligence Specialist Sergeant Shana O'Hara was assigned to the women's billet with CoverGirl and Lady Jaye. In reality, she'd long since moved in with him.

He finished stripping off his gear and grabbed a quick shower before slipping into bed and fitting himself around the warm curve of Shana's body. She stirred, yawned, and snuggled back against his chest.

"Hey." Her voice was muzzy with sleep. "Didn't think you'd be back tonight. Not that I'm complaining."

*It didn't take me long.* He reached around her to sign. *And Wild Bill was flying.*

"Oh. Well, that will do it." She yawned again and fell quiet. Less than a minute later, she was snoring again. Snake closed his own eyes, and was asleep in seconds.


	2. Chapter 2

Chappy two of my story…reviews are appreciated though certainly not necessary, and flames will be used to toast marshmallows. Mmmm. Marshmallows.

Beach Head's PT fun time, ninja smut, and Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes ribbing each other shall commence…now.

Oh, by the way… REC is military jargon for Rope Exercise Condition Course. Generally they consist of a net climb, followed by a series of ropes usually crossed by hooking the knees over and pulling yourself along with your hands while hanging upside down. They finish off with either a rope ladder or another net to climb down the other side. Plum Flower Poles are used in Kung Fu and Ninjutsu training to develop balance. They consist of a series of poles of increasing height. The taller the pole, the smaller the diameter and the more the pole will sway. They are hard as HELL to move on at first(trust me), but when you reach higher ranks in Kung Fu or Ninjutsu you have to perform _kata_and even spar on the damned things. And falling off can really bruise your ass. Trust me on this.

When the alarm went off at six, Shana groaned and swatted ineffectually in the general direction of the nightstand. Snake reached across her and shut off the alarm without looking.

He rolled to his feet, stretching. Scarlett pulled the blankets over her head. Snake Eyes smiled, carefully peeled back the blankets at her feet, and went for the sole of her left foot with all ten fingers.

"NNNGHH!" He ducked back, narrowly avoiding the heel of her other foot. She threw the blankets off and sat up, glaring at him. "Remind me why I date a morning person, again?" She threw a pillow at him.

He caught it and tossed it back. *So you aren't late to PT…BeachHead would murder you.*

"Oh, yeah." She yawned. "That's right." She staggered upright and shuffled to the dresser, digging for a tank top and track pants.

Snake Eyes appreciated yet again the fact that she kept her clothes in the bottom two drawers; when she bent over in the short shorts and sports bra she wore to bed, the view was _really_spectacular. Almost enough to make him risk the wrath of Beach Head and miss PT…

Almost. He pulled on his usual bodysuit and mask, and slid his visor over his eyes. Shana sat on the bed to lace up her boots; Snake balanced on one foot to do it.

They stopped by the mess hall for some water bottles. Several other Joes were doing the same. By the time they reached the PT course, Scarlett was actually awake, if still grumpy. But then, Scarlett was always grumpy until she got her coffee in the morning.

As usual, they were two of the first to show up, a full half-hour early. Also as usual, Beach Head was already there and looked like he had been for awhile. The drill instructor nodded to them; Snake Eyes nodded back and began stretching out.

Beach Head operated under the theory "ten minutes early to anything was already fifteen minutes late". It was a lesson that new recruits learned fast, or spent more time on their knuckles doing push-ups than they'd ever thought possible.

"Good morning, brother." Snake Eyes straightened up and nodded as Tommy sauntered up. Storm Shadow was wearing the same army-issue tank top and running pants that Scarlett was; one trip through a BeachHead approved PT course had, in the usually white-clad Arashikage's own words, "proved that sometimes there wasn't enough bleach in the whole damned world."

Beach Head glanced at the ninjas, and shook his head. Snake Eyes smiled to himself. It irked the Sergeant Major that both of the Arashikage trained ninjas habitually breezed through his PT courses without batting an eye.

Snake Eyes shook his head, remembering hours spent slamming his fists into buckets of hot sand to toughen his hands, grueling thirty-mile runs, hours spent immersed in ice-cold winter runoff from the mountains above the Arashikage training compound.

Then there was the nightingale floor, where a single misstep would bring both a loud creak and a crack across the back from the Hard Master's staff. Of course, there had been hundreds and thousands of hours spent drilling in hand-to-hand and with every conceivable weapon. Climbing the cliffs above the compound, with nothing but hands and feet, no safety harnesses, and a single misstep leading to a hundred-foot fall. Then there had been the iron-body training to toughen bones, where he and the other students spent two hours a day slamming forearms and shins against tree trunks, and took turns toughening the ribs by cracking each other with wrist-thick poles. All together, training had run fourteen hours a day, every day. Sometimes, even longer; there had been a few occasions when the Masters had decided to test the concentration and focus of their students against sleep deprivation.

No matter how good a drill instructor Beach was, there was simply no way that the man could come up with more grueling methods of training than a hundred generations of ninja. There was one way that Beach was worse, though; the ranger almost _always_worked a mud pit into his courses. Snake Eyes swore that Beach Head hated the sight of clean cammies with a vengeance.

The rest of the team showed up within the next few minutes. BeachHead bullied them into ranks, and commenced with warm-ups.

A hundred knuckle-pushups and five hundred crunches later, and they were on the track. Snake Eyes quickly fell into his usual easy lope. Shana, Jaye, and CoverGirl ran just to his right, pacing each other. The women liked to run together, a fact that habitually got Shipwreck chewed out for ogling the three instead of concentrating on his own running.

Tommy fell in by Snake's left elbow, running with the same ground-eating lope as Snake Eyes. BeachHead didn't yell too often; this was the senior Joe team, and they knew to pick up and move without being told.

Beach's usual morning run was three miles; by the time they slowed to a halt, Snake Eyes was feeling nicely warmed up. Tommy, too, wasn't even breathing hard. The rest of the Joes were panting a bit, but not too badly.

"Right!" BeachHead snapped. "Easy bits are done with. Get yer butts to the course, an' I want you there five minutes ago! Move, ladies!"

At the PT course, they lined up and came to attention.

"Right." BeachHead glared at them. "I'll be startin' you off in groups of three. Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, Shipwreck, you're up. Move yer butts!"

They sprinted onto the course. Beach had set up a REC as the first obstacle, and Snake Eyes easily swarmed up the netting that started off the obstacles and gained the top. It was the work of a few seconds to cross the tightly-stretched lines to the next section of the obstacle; He and Storm Shadow both hit the ropes at a dead run. Ninja balance was every bit as good as that of a tightrope walker.

"Shipwreck!" BeachHead snapped. "Step it up! The spooks are already fifty feet up on ya!"

Across the ropes and down the net to the ground, and then they were bounding across a field of tires. Shipwreck got chewed out again for almost tripping, and again the two ninja barely seemed to notice the obstacle.

Next up was a twelve foot wall. Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow hit it running and easily scrambled over. Snake Eyes paused on top and glanced back at Shipwreck; the sailor had to use one of the ropes dangling from the top of the wall, but made it over without trouble.

He jumped down and took off after Tommy; his sword brother was already halfway over the next obstacle, a wide pit of mud with a dozen poles of varying heights poking up out of it. Tommy was easily hopping from one pole to the next, not even looking at his footing. Snake Eyes put on an extra burst of speed and gained ten yards on his sword brother. The poles-they really reminded him of the plum flower poles that the Soft Master used to make them perform _kata_ on-didn't slow him at all.

Next was a broad expanse of apparently-empty ground. Snake Eyes knew better; he'd not seen Low Light in the PT lineup, and a quick scan of the perimeter showed him that the veteran sniper and three greenshirts were hunkered down in the brush with paintball guns.

He hit the fire zone zigging, zagging, rolling, twisting, and flipping. Paintballs spattered the ground around him, but he made it through the gauntlet without a hit. Storm Shadow also had escaped unscathed. Snake glanced back; Shipwreck had caught a bright spatter of blue paint across one thigh, but otherwise was doing well.

Next up was one of BeachHead's favorite obstacles; a razor wire crawl. Snake gained another five yards on Tommy in the sprint towards the mess of wire. Storm Shadow dove under the wire at the last possible second, and Snake heard a loud exclamation of disgust. He found out why when he hit the ground and began belly crawling under the sharp wire; BeachHead had combined the wire crawl with _another_mud pit.

Ignoring the cold ooze seeping through his clothes, Snake easily wriggled his way past the obstacle. He came to his feet running, and the next obstacle-a climbing tower and a rope climb down-was easily dealt with. After that, it was a twenty-yard sprint back to the starting point. Snake almost caught up with Tommy, crossing the chalked line in the grass only a few steps behind his fellow ninja.

Shipwreck, completely covered in mud, took another thirty seconds to reach the finish. BeachHead clicked his stopwatch, glanced at it, and scowled.

"Shipwreck, this ain't a stroll through your momma's flower garden. Move yer butt faster, because I sure as hell ain't haulin your sorry backside through a hot zone when you get shot up. Ten more laps on the track."

The ranger rounded on Storm Shadow. "You! You ain't the only one in your unit, ninja. Watch out for your teammates out there! Get down and give me fifty!"

Tommy glared but dropped to his knuckles. BeachHead glanced at Snake. "Not bad, but since my courses bore you so much, you can get down by your buddy there and keep him company."

The drill sergeant turned to the line of soldiers as Snake went down on his knuckles and obediently started pumping out pushups. "Jaye, Spirit, Flint! You're up!" Beach glanced down at the two men on their knuckles in the grass. "You can go faster than that, Snake Eyes. Pick it up!"

Snake Eyes sped up the pace, and Beach turned to snap at Flint as the warrant officer lost his balance on the poles and hit the mud pit with a _splat._

By the time BeachHead was finally satisfied, everyone was covered in mud and Duke had ripped his shirt on the razor wire, earning him a hearty tongue-lashing from Beach.

"I swear to all the gods that man hates my clothes." Tommy was examining his mud-soaked shirt as they made their way back to the Pit.

*No. He hates everyone's clothes.* Snake Eyes wiped a smear of mud from his visor.

"And my hair." Scarlett caught up to them. Her ponytail was dripping muddy water, and her face was smeared with dirt. "How the _hell_did you two take those poles as fast as you did? You weren't even _looking._" She scowled. "I know, don't tell me…ninjas."

Tommy smiled, his teeth very white in his muddy face. "BeachHead could learn a lesson or two in from my uncles."

"Don't." Scarlett shot him a dirty look. "I don't want to end up swimming in ice water or balancing on a sword blade."

Snake Eyes tuned out the two of them bickering; Tommy and Scarlett didn't always mesh well, which was largely due to the fact that Shana still hadn't really forgiven Storm Shadow for some of the more impressive scars on Snake Eyes' body.

Back in their room, Snake peeled off his mud-soaked bodysuit while Scarlett showered. While he waited for her to finish, he field-stripped his Uzi, cleaned, and oiled it.

He was sharpening his sixth _shuriken_when the bathroom door opened and Scarlett came out, vigorously towel-drying her hair. "You're up, big guy." She raised an eyebrow at him, sitting almost naked in the middle of the floor and surrounded by bladed weapons. "Cute."

He smiled, packed the throwing stars away, and took his turn in the bathroom. He didn't take nearly as long as she had, but then he had a _lot_less hair to wash.

When he emerged, he froze. Swallowed convulsively. Blinked. Swallowed again, and reminded himself that he needed to breathe.

Scarlett was bent over, humming as she fished through her drawer for clean clothes. Clothes she _wasn't_wearing, and the towel that she'd been wrapped in was lying on the floor next to her.

She straightened suddenly, turned, and held out what looked like two scraps of lace. She blinked innocently at him. "What do you think? White or red skivvies today?"

He was across the room and pinning her against the dresser before he even knew what he was doing. She smiled against his lips, and the red and white bits of lace landed on top of his towel at it hit the floor.

He began nibbling his way down the line of her throat, savoring the smoothness of her skin, the little sounds she made far back in her throat.

"Mmmm." She sighed. "Now THIS is more like it; I was halfway expecting you to join me in the shower."

*Sorry to disappoint.* He took one hand off of her waist just long enough to sign. *Won't happen again.*

She nipped at his earlobe. His vision clouded for a second, and he ran his hands higher. She leaned into his hands as he closed them over her breasts, and the little purr she made just about undid him on the spot.

A few more minutes of kissing and wandering hands later, and he picked her up, set her on the edge of the dresser, and slowly, slowly, made love to her until both of them were panting and trembling.

"Mmm." She sighed in his ear after a moment of leaning against each other in contented silence. He smiled down at her, kissed her on the end of the nose.

*That is some physical exertion that I can really get behind.* He signed.

"No kidding…think that BeachHead would let us skip morning PT to do this instead?

Snake Eyes snorted with laughter at the thought of Beach's face at _that_ request. *If you can get it past him, I'm more than game.*

She laughed and unwrapped her legs from around his hips. "I'll get the request form typed up and slip it in with the rest of his inbox…maybe he'll sign off without reading it first." She poked him in the chest and he reluctantly let her free. "Right after breakfast; I'm starved."

They dressed quickly and she led him to the mess hall; Snake glanced at the clock over the vending machines as they entered the big room.

They still had a half hour before the mess crew stopped serving breakfast. He followed her through the line, wishing that Roadblock was cooking today.

"What is this?" To his left, Scarlett poked at the rubbery blob on her plate. "Is this supposed to be eggs?"

*I think so. Try it and let me know.*

"Sissy."

*Yes.*

Scarlett went ahead of him to claim a spot in the far corner. Snake went to the pastry bar to get them both some coffee.

"Snake!" He heard Tommy's voice behind him, and turned to see his sword brother sitting with Stalker and Shipwreck. "Grab me another of those bagels!"

The bagels in question were blueberry. Thomas Arashikage had more than once said that fresh blueberry bagels were the lone triumph of western culture over Japan. Snake winged one at his sword brother. Tommy caught it without looking, pulled a _tanto_ out of his sleeve, and neatly bisected the pastry. Then he turned to eye Snake Eyes expectantly. "What? No cream cheese?"

*You could get it yourself.* Snake pointed out. *It's only ten feet away from you, you know*

"Yes, but you're already over there, and I'm feeling lazy." Tommy caught the small packet just before it hit him between the eyes. "Thanks…" He glanced down and scowled. "Low fat?"

*Better for you.* Snake added three sugar packets to Shana's coffee. *I thought it looked like you'd put on a few pounds recently.*

He smiled as Tommy's scowl darkened. "I have not and you know it." Stalker was shaking with laughter. "You weigh more than me anyways, Snake."

*Difference between muscle weight and love handles.*

"Screw you." The very fit Storm Shadow peeled the foil off of the cream cheese packet and spread it on his bagel.

"You're in a good mood today, Snake." Shipwreck said.

Snake Eyes shrugged, picked up the coffee, and headed to where Shana was already halfway through her breakfast. He still heard Tommy behind him as his sword brother turned back to Stalker and Shipwreck.

"I'd be in a good mood to, if I'd just gotten laid." Storm Shadow winced as a plastic knife bounced off the back of his skull. "HEY!"

Snake ducked as the knife sailed over his head and sat down across from Scarlett. He slid her coffee over, and watched as she poured half the mug down her throat in one go.

"Oh, thank you god." She sighed in pleasure. "Why is Storm throwing things at you?"

*I threw it at him first.*

She rolled her eyes. "Ok then." She drained the rest of her coffee. "We have a squad of greenies in hand to hand today, right?"

*Yes. Seven of them.*

"Goody." She rubbed her hands together, and did her best Dracula impression "Fresh blood."

*Don't scare this bunch off.* He smiled at her. *According to Duke, there's a few pretty promising ones in this group.*

"I'll try not to send them screaming." She scowled suddenly. "Unless one of this bunch decides that they don't like having a woman as an instructor…"

That had happened before. The poor man had mouthed off to her, and managed to throw in a sexual invitation at the same time. It had taken a week to get the bloodstains out of the training mats. Snake Eyes still remembered the sight of his girlfriend pounding the idiot SEAL through the ground with a certain amount of pride.

*There's at least one woman in this group.* He crunched on his toast. *I saw a few of the personnel files.*

"Oh really?" Shana perked up. "What division is she from?"

*Air force. F-16 pilot.*

"Ooh. Ace'll have competition."

*If she makes it.*

"If she makes it." Scarlett stood. "Want more coffee?"

He shook his head, and turned his attention to his food.

Next chapter; greenshirts, Storm Shadow does some heavy-duty flirting, and COBRA is up to something.


	3. Chapter 3

Chappy three! YAY!

A sleeper hold, by the way, consists of blocking blood flow to the brain by pinching off the jugular and carotid arteries. Properly applied, it induces unconsciousness in three seconds and death in less than ten. Faster than choking someone out, and _way_more painful. As someone who has spent the last nine years of her life being beaten through the _dojo_ floor by my ex-Green Beret-who-has-thirty-years-of-martial-arts-experience _Sensei_twice a week, I _know_ what a sleeper hold feels like. It is _not_pleasant. Trust me.

Also, one of the other students in my class used to twitch his left eyelid just before he unloaded any kicking combo. And he wondered why I dumped him on his ass so many times…

Several hours later, Snake Eyes, Tommy, and Scarlett were in the gym, eying the new lineup of greenshirts. Three were Army, one was a SEAL, two were Marines, and one-the woman-was Air Force. Snake Eyes looked the lot over, and almost automatically noted which ones would need a little extra discipline. One of the Marines had that cocky gleam in his eyes, and one of the Army men was eying Scarlett's breasts instead of her blackbelt.

Tommy was prowling up and down in front of the lineup. "You've gotten here because your commanders recommended you, for some reason or another." He glared at them. "My name is Storm Shadow. Behind me are Scarlett and Snake Eyes. We'll be in charge of your hand-to-hand combat training for as long as you are with the G.I. Joe team."

"Sir!" The woman saluted. "Yessir!"

Scarlett moved. "You've all been assigned code names; name, qualifications, and previous experience. Starting with you." She nodded to the hulking SEAL on the far left of the line.

Snake Eyes listened as the SEAL spouted off a typically overachieving list of weapons qualifications, previous combat experience, and deployments. He nodded to himself. The man was polite, respectful, disciplined, and experienced…there was a lot of potential there.

Scarlett finally worked her way down the line to the woman at the far right. "And you?"

"Sherry K. Takenawa." The woman saluted again. "Code name HeadBanger, or Banger for short. Japanese-American, second-generation. Twenty-nine, joined the Air Force at eighteen. Rank of Senior Airman. Combat qualified on the entire F series of fighter jets. Combat qualified on the B-52 bomber, Blackbird high-altitude stealth plane, F/A 18 Hornet, and the B-2 Spirit. Flown in hot zones in the middle east, Korea, South America, and even infiltrated classified Russian and Chinese airspace. Also qualified with basic infantry weapons and I have seen ground combat, sirs."

Tommy got that slow grin that Snake Eyes had seen before. He sighed.

"I take it you can see over the control panels, then?" Tommy said.

"As long as I sit on a dictionary, sir." The very short woman-her personnel file put her height at four eleven-didn't even blink, gaining her some points with Snake Eyes. Tommy's grin grew a little wider.

"Ma'm?" One of the Marines-he'd called himself BuckleUp-spoke.

"Yes?" Scarlett nodded at him.

"Um…" The man glanced at Snake Eyes, and the ninja sighed again, knowing what was coming. "Sir? You haven't said anything…Is there something wrong?"

"Snake Eyes won't say anything." Shana's face hardened; she knew how much he hated this part of greenie intros. "He was injured in the line of duty years ago, and his vocal cords were damaged. He's almost totally mute."

"Then…" The Marine looked confused. "How is he supposed to teach us, ma'm?"

"He's fluent in ASL." Shana glared. "Storm Shadow or myself can translate, but you all will be expected to study sign language if you remain with the Joe team for any length of time. Also," She grinned suddenly. "He's quite good at making himself understood when he wants to be."

Snake Eyes almost let out a sigh of relief. That had gone better than usual…

And then the other Marine-the one with the cocky gleam in his eyes-stifled a snicker. All three of them rounded on him in a quarter of a second.

"Do you have something to say, Captain?" Storm Shadow's voice was a low, dangerous purr.

"No…Just, well." The man glanced at Snake. "I didn't know that the Joes had such…progressive hiring practices. Sir." The last word was added almost as an afterthought.

"Ah." Storm Shadow said, very softly. "I take it you…question the Sergeant's qualifications?"

"I wouldn't say that, sir." The man shrugged. "It's just…well…"

Snake paced to the center of the training mats, turned, and faced the greenshirt.

*If you can pin me,* He signed, *You can have my place as hand-to-hand instructor.*

Storm Shadow and Scarlett both _smiled._Scarlett translated, and Snake watched the jarhead take the bait hook, line, and sinker. The man's cocky grin grew wider, he cracked his knuckles, and when he walked out to face Snake, it was with a little extra strut to his step.

The other greenshirts were eyeing their comrade with a mixture of anticipation and fear. It was the little woman-Banger-who was brave enough to speak.

"Sir?" She glanced at Storm Shadow. "This isn't going to end well, is it?"

Tommy smirked. "No, no it is not."

The marine-he'd called himself CueBall, apparently because of his shaved head-fell into a fighting crouch. Snake noticed that the man unconsciously emphasized motions with his right side just a bit. Strong on the right, weaker on the left, then.

"I won't mess you up too bad, sir." The man was smiling.

Snake didn't move. He stood there, arms folded, waiting. The marine feinted in a few times. Snake didn't budge, but noted that the man's left eyelid twitched just before any major movement.

Eyelid twitch, a shift of weight, and _there_was the strike. The marine ducked in and swung a fist towards Snake's groin, and drove his elbow towards the side of the commando's kneecap.

He winced, as Snake's forearm slammed down in a block on the swinging punch. The ninja slid away from the elbow strike, and the marine's wince turned to a yelp as the blade of Snake's foot connected with his jaw a tenth of a second later.

Snake Eyes planted his foot between the marine's shoulder blades and _stomped,_driving the man face-first into the mats. The jarhead scrambled for some semblance of leverage and grabbed at Snake's other ankle in an effort to unbalance the ninja.

Snake Eyes' boot pinned his fingers against the floor. The marine bucked, hoping to throw off the commando, but Snake didn't budge.

The man went still. Snake stepped back and CueBall scrambled to his feet, looking murderous. Tommy and Scarlett were grinning.

*Care to try again?* Snake asked politely.

"Was that seriously the best you could do?" Storm Shadow sniffed. "_Pathetic._ Give it another shot, and actually _try_ to hit him this time."

This time the marine feinted with a jab at Snake Eye's solar plexus, then stomped at his instep and swung for the ninja's temple. Snake ignored the feint, slid his foot away from the stomp and hooked his leg around the back of the jarhead's as the marine's weight landed on it, blocked the punch, shot his other hand up for a throat strike, and swept the man's legs out.

CueBall hit the mats with a _thud_, and the marine gasped for air-which was pretty difficult, seeing as Snake had his knee driven into the man's ribcage and was _just_ short of applying a sleeper hold with the hand still wrapped around the jarhead's throat. The man tried to get off a strike, but found that his left arm was quite effectively blocked by the ninja's shoulder, his other arm was pinned by Snake's free arm, and any motion with his feet just caused the knee on his ribs to grind in a _bit_ harder.

The man went limp. Snake stood up and backed off, and the marine dragged himself back to his feet again. The man rubbed his throat, and eyed the ninja with a wary respect.

"I apologize for questioning you, sir." He sounded subdued. Snake nodded and gestured for CueBall to head back to the wall with the other greenshirts. The man obeyed; the cocky spring was noticeably absent from his walk.

An hour and a half later, and the greenshirts staggered out of the gym, groaning. Banger, notably, was still walking with a saucy little bounce in her step, despite the number of times she'd landed on her backside. The little woman's hand-to-hand was below par, but she'd been an eager student and seemed to pick up on new things readily enough. Snake liked her, and he could tell from the warmth in Shana's eyes that his girlfriend also had a good feeling about the greenie pilot.

Tommy…Snake glanced to his left. His sword brother was eyeing the retreating back of the greenshirts as well. One in particular. And not so much her back, as…

Snake Eyes shook his head and sighed. Scarlett glanced at him, at Tommy, and at the focus of Storm Shadow's eyes.

"Oh, lord." She muttered.

"Shut up." Tommy said amiably.

The pilot must have heard them, because she paused and cocked her head back to look at the three of them. Snake dropped his head to his hands as she caught Tommy's eyes, and _smiled._She stopped, and waited for them to catch up to her.

"I don't want to seem forward, sir." She was still smiling at Tommy. "But you don't seem like traditional army. You're too…" She paused. "Too _independent."_

"For someone who just left dents in the floor with their body, you're awfully perky." Tommy's smirk was approaching kilowatt intensity.

"Mmm." She made a noncommittal noise. "I don't have as far to fall as some of the other guys…as you were so kind as to point out."

Tommy laughed. "A sense of humor, too…I like it."

"When you're the same height as a Hobbit, you have to develop a sense of humor." She smiled again. "You didn't answer my question, sir."

"Tommy." Storm Shadow held out a hand. She shook it. "Call me Tommy. I didn't start out regular army…you could say that I'm a special case. And allow me to ask…your code name?"

"Oh." She shrugged. "I listen to a lot of Metallica, Megadeath…my friends in my squad started calling me the 'the headbanger'. It stuck. Yours makes sense…I looked up the info on the Joes; 'Storm Shadow' is just the English translation of your last name, right?"

"Oh, so she's smarter than she looks." Tommy laughed again, and there was a sly little edge to it. Banger's smile went smug.

"So." She indicated both Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. "I hope I'm not being too nosy…but I heard through the grapevine that there are two honest-to-god-old-school ninjas on the G.I. Joe team…I take it that would be you and Sergeant Snake Eyes?"

At his affirmative nod, she grinned up at Snake. "Awesome. And by the way sir…that was pure poetry, when you stomped Cue through the floor. Absotively _beautiful._ I was considering giving that a try myself…he'd hit on me enough times in the last two days._"_

Snake Eyes smiled despite himself.

"Do you regularly beat up interested men?" Tommy raised an eyebrow.

"No…just the annoying ones." She pursed her lips and gave Tommy a little smile. "If, say, _you_ were to try and pick me up…well, at least you're prettier than CueBall."

_Oh, lord._Snake sighed at his sword brother's throaty little chuckle.

"C'mon." Shana murmured in his ear. She hooked her arm with his and steered him away from Storm Shadow and the petite pilot. "Lets give them a little breathing room."

They watched the white-clad ninja and the little woman in PT gear vanish around the corner of the hallway, still talking and laughing under their breaths. Shana smiled.

"Well, that should keep him busy for awhile." She laughed at his headshake. "Lighten up, Snakes. Anything that burns off some of his energy is a _good_thing. He starts baiting BeachHead otherwise…you know that."

Yes…that _was_true. The memory of the resulting ten-mile run in the rain and knuckle pushups until they all collapsed was still a bitter memory for about nine tenths of the Joe team.

*I don't understand why women always throw themselves on him.* Snake shook his head again. *When I was training with the Arashikage family, he'd average about a marriage proposal a week from women of friendly clans. Even not-so-friendly clans.*

"Give him a little credit." Scarlett shrugged. "Sure, he can be a pain, but he's charming, suave, and good-looking."

He glared at her. She continued. "It's just not until later that most women figure out how much of a pain he can be."

They wandered down to the motor pool. Shana spotted CoverGirl halfway buried in the motor of a humvee and made a beeline for her friend. The grease-streaked ex-model straightened up, banged her head on the hood of the vehicle, and swore roundly.

Snake listened to their conversation with half an ear; Shana had asked Courtney how things were going with Beach. Snake knew that the drill instructor and the tank jockey felt some sort of attraction for each other, though he failed to understand how CoverGirl could put up with the terse ranger on a regular basis. And he _liked_BeachHead. Most of the time.

Courtney started venting about BeachHead's insensitivity, which Snake thought was kind of like yelling at water for being wet. Scarlett, being Scarlett, listened sympathetically, nodding and commenting in all the right places. CoverGirl seemed to be in a better mood as she wound down; Scarlett's Patented Best Friend Therapy had done its job.

Snake pricked up his ears as the tank jockey started telling his girlfriend about an upcoming deployment of Lady Jaye's.

"Yeah. Russia." Courtney leaned back into the engine. "Hand me the three-eighths ratchet…thanks." She fiddled with a part. "Some sort of undercover assignment…apparently those intelligence briefs that your honey swiped from Bosnia last month hinted at some sort of Cobra interest in some sensitive Russian locales. She, Ace, SnowJob, and Footloose leave in two weeks. Sonovabitch." She scowled at the engine. "I could have _sworn_ it was the fuel injectors… Give me that rag for a sec."

"I saw those briefs." Scarlett handed over the rag. Snake settled himself cross legged and started examining the edge on his knives while the women talked. "Old Cold War missile silos…supposedly decommissioned, though."

"Supposedly." CoverGirl crowed in victory. "HA! The third cylinder's spark plug! Gochya, you little fuck." She pried out the offending part. "Hundred bucks says that there's still a few goodies lying around in those things."

"No bet." Scarlett winced. "That's not a fun thought…Destro'd have _way_ too much fun with enriched uranium."

"Yeah, well, Jaye'll ferret out anything that looks sideways."

Next chappy…more Cobra, the greenshirts meet BeachHead, Storm Shadow remains distracted, and more SE/S.


	4. Chapter 4

If at any point my OC veers towards sueishness, please flame me into a quivering pile of ash. Thank you.

PT the next morning wasn't bad…for the senior team. The greenshirts, however…

Snake winced as the marine he'd stomped on the day before-CueBall-took a nosedive into the mud pit under the poles. Beach's voice snapped out across the field.

"That's the third time! Get yer ass up, and haul your useless butt to the track. Ten laps, then try it again! Goddammit, how in hell'd you make it through basic!"

The SEAL and BuckleUp had made it through with only minor chewing out; one of the army boys had gotten so lit up at the sniper gauntlet that he almost had more blue and orange paint than mud covering him. BeachHead had thoroughly reamed the man out, and then sent him through the obstacle course twice more, then finally sent him into the grass to "Do pushups until _I_ get tired, goddamnit."

The other two army men had made it to the razor wire before the Wrath of BeachHead had descended; both had emerged with bloodied backs and were running the course again with the little Air Force pilot. HeadBanger had taken a full forty-five seconds longer than anyone else to clear the course, and BeachHead had _not_been pleased.

"Y'know," Scarlett said thoughtfully by Snake's side, "I really think that nothing makes him happier than a load of new recruits"

*You might be right.* Snake Eyes, Scarlett, Duke, Flint, Tommy, and a few other Joes were watching the drill sergeant pound the greenshirts into the dust.

"Shorty!" Beach roared at Banger, who was struggling with the twelve foot wall. "Either grow three feet or get your teammate to help you up! How the _hell'd_ I get stuck with a goddamn midget, anyways?"

One of the army boys popped his head over the top of the wall, leaned down, and held out a hand. Banger jumped, and just barely managed to catch hold. The man dragged her up until she caught hold of one of the ropes. She scrambled over the top.

The pilot had one advantage in the course; she had better balance than the male greenies, and so far was the only one who hadn't taken a dive off of the poles into the mud. Her small size also helped her with the snipers-she was a smaller target than the taller men. Still, she'd caught more than her share of paintballs, and had been subsequently reamed by Beach.

The climbing obstacles gave her problems, and she had to be helped by her teammates twice more. By the time the three finally staggered across the chalked finish line, BeachHead was scowling.

"Fucking amazing that you two have any goddamn skin left on your goddamn backs." Beach snarled at the two army greenshirts. "You _will_learn to get your asses down, because if you ever get shot I _will _leave your sorry butts to bleed. Ten laps. _Move!_" He roared the last word as the greenies groaned.

"You!" The ranger rounded on the pilot. "You've got the upper-body strength of a goddamned _noodle._I don't care if you never see ground combat; you _will_be able to back up infantry if you have to. Get down in the grass…On your knuckles, dammit, not on your palms...and do pushups until I say stop!" The Sergeant Major scowled. "Damn Chair Force slackers."

"At least she's smart enough not to talk back." Duke observed, as the pilot went up on her knuckles and began puffing away. "She'd be _dead."_

"They'll be out here for awhile." Flint cracked his neck. "Alison wanted to have lunch…see you guys around." The warrant officer strode off.

Storm Shadow mimed cracking a whip at Flint's back. "She's got him well trained."

"They always get clingy before one of them goes out on a mission." Scarlett observed. "I think it's cute."

"You would…you've got my sword brother almost as whipped." Tommy slid his shin back, and the toe of her boot missed. Duke shook his head; Snake knew that the occasional friction between his girlfriend and his sword brother had caused the Top Sergeant more than one headache.

Duke didn't say anything about his team mates completely ignoring fraternization regulations. The G.I. Joe brass had more or less given up on the traditional military frat regs; apparently, no one was brave enough to try and pry Flint and Jaye or himself and Shana apart.

Which Snake Eyes was _completely_fine with. He'd really hate to have to disobey direct orders, but if those orders involved leaving Shana, he wouldn't really have had much choice.

They looked back at BeachHead and his panting recruits. The men on the track were staggering along, and Beach was haranguing them to pick up the pace, while simultaneously yelling at CueBall for catching a paintball square on the back of the skull. Banger was groaning in the grass; Snake could see her arms shaking as she passed her fortieth pushup.

At sixty, her arms gave out and she collapsed. BeachHead glared down at her.

"You're gonna lie there 'till you can move, and then you're gonna finish up your set of a hundred. Got it, midget?"

A muffled groan.

"I'm sorry." Beach Head crouched next to her. "Didn't quite catch that…was that 'Yes, Drill Sergeant?"

She spit out some grass. "Yes, Drill Sergeant." She grated out.

"That's better…" Beach turned back to the track. "You meatbags finished yet? Goddamnit, my _gramma_ could run laps faster than you…"

"C'mon." Shana tugged at Snake Eyes' arm. "Flint's right…its past noon. I'm hungry. Plus, Roadblock was going to make pork chops today."

*Really?* Snake Eyes perked up. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Dusty and Spirit do an abrupt about face at her words and take off for the Pit at a good clip. Tommy passed the two before they'd gone twenty feet.

"Yep." She scowled at the retreating backs. "And I'm guessing we'd better hurry, or there won't be any left."

"Damn." Duke sighed regretfully. "I've got briefings with this lot once Beach finishes with them. Get Roadblock to save me one, will you?"

"I'll tell him to keep one warm." Scarlett tugged at Snake's arm again; he went with her willingly.

The pork chops were outstanding. They were just finishing when the greenshirts came staggering into the mess hall, followed by Duke and BeachHead. The drill sergeant started chatting with Roadblock; the two got along well.

"Ouch." Scarlett watched the greenies slump gratefully into chairs. "God, I'm glad that I'm used to it now. I could barely walk for a week after he started up."

Snake Eyes twisted around, eyed the recruits, and shrugged. Scarlett snorted. "I know…you _never_had a problem with him." She poked him in the shoulder. "Some of us are actually mortals, oh mighty ninja."

He snorted with laughter, and she smiled.

Snake saw Tommy suddenly cock his head, and the white-clad ninja snapped to his feet a split second before Hawk stumped into the mess hall. There was a mass scraping of chairs as people jumped to attention, the greenshirts wincing as they stood.

"At ease." Hawk barely glanced at the room; he made a beeline towards…Jaye?

"Wonder what's up?" Scarlett's eyes had gone sharp; it was the counterintelligence agent that was speaking now, as Jaye saluted the general and hurried out of the mess hall, her tray abandoned. "She wasn't supposed to ship out for two weeks yet…" She stood, picking up her tray. "I've got to go talk to Breaker."

She hurried off. Snake returned his own tray, and then headed straight for Tommy.

His sword brother was sitting with Stalker again. Snake folded himself into a chair to Stalker's left.

*What did Hawk say?* He knew that his sword brother, with his impossible hearing, had caught every word.

Storm Shadow was looking thoughtful. "Some satellite photos pinned down the Baroness less than twenty miles from an old Russian missile silo…one that's still heavily guarded. Jaye's team is leaving immediately…Hawk wants to know what Cobra's up to as soon as possible."

The ninja frowned. "I'm surprised he's not sending you or me along, Snake. Or _both_ of us. I know what Destro could do with a few tons of nuclear material…It wouldn't be pretty."

"He's inserting Jaye as a secretary in a local military base." Stalker said. "It's still a sensitive area…I think that the brass above Hawk wants to make sure that there's no body count off of this op. And," Stalker smiled a little. "You two have exactly one response to being caught on an op. Jaye's pretty and smart enough to weasel her way out of pretty much anything. Ace is transport, and SnowJob and Footloose are being inserted as security personnel just to feed Jaye extra info. You two…for all your skills…aren't what the brass wanted this time around."

Yes; Snake could see that. He knew, without conceit, that he was one of the best commandos, covert spies, and assassins alive. He could sneak into pretty much any base, anywhere, anytime, and lift or remove any target he was given. But weaseling intel out of a reticent target _without_ breaking said target's arms and, indeed, without him even knowing that he was being worked over? That was Jaye's territory.

Storm Shadow sniffed. "I don't get caught."

*Except when you do.* Snake Eyes pointed out. *I caught you more than once when you were still working for the Commander.*

"That was _you."_ But Tommy didn't argue the point. "'Lonzo, how do you know what's going down, anyway?"

"I was talking to Flint, and Flint talks to Jaye on a fairly regular basis." Stalker's voice was dry.

"Point." Tommy leaned back and sipped his iced tea. "Damn. I've wanted to kill the Baroness for _years._ Bossy bitch. Used to try and order me around like I was her damn _slave."_ He grimaced.

*Your girlfriend is on her way over.* Snake eyes could hear the footsteps of the tiny pilot approaching behind him.

"What?" Stalker almost choked on his mashed potatoes. "_Tommy?"_

*The new recruit-the pilot. The two of them have been flirting since hand-to-hand yesterday.*

Stalker started laughing. "Whooo! You move _fast,_ninja man!"

"Shut it." Storm Shadow glared at them.

"Hi." Snake heard Banger's voice behind him. "Mind if I sit?"

"Of course not." Storm Shadow glared at his friends. Snake shrugged; Stalker was still laughing to himself.

"So." The woman sat across from Tommy. Winced. "Damn…I still can't feel my arms…Is he always that bad?"

"Yes." Stalker straightened up. "BeachHead? He isn't happy if he isn't chewing someone out. Best drill instructor in the world, though. He makes sure we're ready for pretty much any situation that comes our way. Hell of a soldier, too…I've seen him on the battlefield."

"Yeah…ground combat's not my thing." Banger sighed loudly. "Put me in a plane, and I'm happy. Flying is what I do well, not humping a pack over an obstacle course." She glanced at Snake. "Or breaking people with my bare hands."

"You'd like CoverGirl." Tommy said. "She's a tank jockey…downright scary in a wolverine, decent with an M16. Beach is hard on everyone, though. Don't take it personally."

"It stops hurting after the first two weeks." Stalker went back to his potatoes. "Well…stops hurting as much."

She grinned suddenly. "I've seen the planes here…BeachHead can yell at me all day, every day, so long as I can get my hands on those Ghoststriker X-16s. I could spin one of those on a _dime._ It's like they took the F-16 and decided it didn't have enough guns." She sighed happily. "I _knew_I transferred for a reason."

"That's the _only_perk of this deployment?" Storm Shadow raised an eyebrow. "The hardware?"

"It's a big perk…but no." She smiled at Tommy. "The people here…aside from BeachHead…seem nice. I really like Scarlett."

"Everyone likes Scarlett." Stalker observed. Snake Eyes smiled. His girlfriend's people skills were legend.

"I like hand to hand, too." Banger's smile deepened, and Tommy's Patented Megawatt Smirk spread across the ninja's face. "Its…interesting."

Snake Eyes and Stalker-both of whom had known Thomas Arashikage for many years-rolled their eyes in unison.

Much later, back in his quarters, Snake was cleaning and oiling Scarlett's M16 as she sorted through intelligence briefs, hunched over her tiny desk.

"Damn." She straightened; Snake Eyes heard her spine pop, and she winced. "This could be bad."

*How bad?* He cocked an eyebrow.

"According to this," She gestured at the papers in front of her, "There's an old missile storage facility that was never fully decommissioned. The town that grew up around it-originally founded by military families during the Cold War-is now a civilian area. There's enough material still in the area to make at least two fully functioning nuclear warheads." She sighed, rubbed the back of her neck. "I've been sorting through newspaper clips and security feed for the last three hours, and look at this." She pulled out a grainy black-and-white photograph and handed it to him.

Snake hissed through his teeth. This _was_bad. *Bludd. How long ago was this taken?*

"Two weeks." Scarlett plucked the photo out of his hand. "And if Bludd and the Baroness are both in the area…one _might_be a coincidence, but not both."

She stacked up the papers. "I'll turn this into Hawk tomorrow…I hope he sent enough firepower along with Jaye."

He could hear the worry for her friend in her voice. Snake clicked the last part of the M16 back into place, stood, and went to stand behind her. He moved her hair out of the way and began to knead the back of her neck. He paused long enough to sign. *Jaye can take care of herself…and Footloose, Ace, and SnowJob are all tough guys. Don't worry.*

"Oooh." She sighed, and rolled her head to one side. "Don't stop doing that…and thanks. I know, she'll be fine."

*Besides.* He smiled. *If things go south, we can get a team there inside of a few hours…and then we all get to have fun.*

That got a little laugh. "You just want to go to Russia to get your hands on a real vintage combat-used-but-still-in-good-condition NR-40 trench knife…I know you've been after one for _years._"

*There isn't a single one in decent shape in the continental US, I swear. People kept _using_ them until they _destroyed_ them.*

She stood, smiled, and turned to wrap her arms around his neck. "You know, other guys collect baseball cards. Plus, you're running out of wall space."

He snorted. *I've still got the cabin.*

She kissed him on the chin. "Sweetheart, I thought that we'd agreed…my crossbow collection goes in the cabin." She smiled as he shook with silent laughter. "I suppose you could have the north wall…that's still fairly empty."

*Thank you.* He kissed her. *Very generous of you.*

She kissed him back, and then suddenly shoved him backwards. He landed on the bed, grinning. She crawled up to straddle him, planting her hands on his chest. "I think you owe me a favor, now." She cocked her head and gave him a look that was pure sin. "I need to be distracted from my work, or I'll never sleep tonight. Think you can help with that?"

*Possibly.* He rolled them, reached up under her shirt, and expertly popped the clasp of her bra with one hand. She tugged at the zipper of his bodysuit, and ran her hands along the muscles of his chest.

"You have just a _ridiculously_great body…have I ever told you that?" She smirked up at him. He smiled, kissed her.

His bodysuit ended up draped over the headboard, and he wasn't quite sure how her bra ended up on the bedside lamp. Afterwards, when she was snoring contentedly against his chest, he tossed it in the general direction of the dresser, and leaned back against the pillow.

For all his confidence when he'd been reassuring her, he _was_worried…Cobra sniffing around nuclear missiles wasn't a good situation. And if Bludd was there…Snake had dealt with Bludd before. The man was a coward at heart, and never went anywhere without at least thirty vipers, a smattering of Dreadnoks, and preferably the option to call in air support. Snake liked Jaye, and Footloose, SnowJob, and Ace were all good guys.

He would have felt better if Hawk had sent him or Storm Shadow along…he knew his abilities, those of his sword brother. Ninja trained to cause the maximum amount of havoc amongst a superior force, and to strike and kill with lightning speed. They trained-_he_ trained-to decimate an enemy as quickly, quietly, and efficiently as possible. While vipers and Dreadnoks were good gunmen and decent at hand-to-hand, Snake knew firsthand that they were no match for either himself or Tommy.

Hell, most of G.I. Joe, the most highly trained and competent military force on the planet, were no match for himself or Tommy.

He puffed out a sigh. He couldn't do anything until Hawk ordered him out…short of 'jacking a plane and following the four Joes to Russia. Tempting, but a court-martial just _wouldn't_ be fun.

Next chappy…aerial acrobatics, care packages, ninja supply orders, and things in Russia (predictably) start to head south….


	5. Chapter 5

Fudge, throwing stars, interesting plant and animal toxins, crazed stunt pilots…fun stuff.

Japanese peirus is an _extremely_toxic wildflower …it's actually a relative of Lily of the Valley, which is also quite poisonous.

After PT the next day, the classic entertainment of BeachHead barking orders at greenshirts was passed over in favor of mail call. Snake tagged along behind Scarlett; he rarely, if ever, got mail, though sometimes her family would send him goodies.

"Storm Shadow, your supply order." The quartermaster grunted as he heaved a large box over his counter. "Please make these last longer than a _week,_this time?"

"No promises." Tommy slid a small knife from his right sleeve and cut through the packing tape. The ninja dug into the box. "Hey…they threw in extras…" He glanced at Snake Eyes. "You need any more _shuriken?_They sent an extra two dozen since we order in bulk all the time."

*Thanks.* Snake caught the four bundles that his sword brother tossed to him, tucked three under his arm, peeled one open, glanced inside, and signed one handed. *Six pointed? What, can't hit something with a four-pointed star? You're slipping.*

"Ah, you wish." Tommy smiled. "Sure, the four pointed star has better penetrating power, and the eight pointed model causes more massive soft tissue damage, but with _six_ points, you get _versatility_…assuming that you have enough finesse with your throwing skills. But then, you were _second_ in throwing weapons, so maybe you don't have my control, Snake."

Snake pulled out one of the new _shuriken_, balanced it on one finger for a second, then flicked it in the air, caught it, and slid it away in one of the pouches on his utility belt. *Try me.*

"With pleasure…meet me later down in the shooting gallery, and I'll show you the finer points of _shurikenjutsu."_Tommy went back to rummaging through his order, muttering to himself. "Six dozen _shuriken…_good, I was on my last ten…Hundred arrows…should have gotten more…hemlock extract, peirus extract, coral snake venom…good, I was getting low on poison…fifty blowgun darts…extra bowstrings…forty smoke bombs. All here."

He picked up the box, tucked it under an arm, and left humming happily to himself.

"Scarlett? You got a package from a Sean?"

Snake Eyes, Dusty, Bazooka, and Heavy Duty all snapped their heads around to eye the box that Scarlett accepted. Sean, Scarlett's brother, enjoyed baking. And was _good_at it.

Scarlett glared at them and peeled open the box. Snake Eyes sniffed.

He _knew_ that smell. So did Dusty; the desert trooper's eyes lit up. "Is that peanut butter fudge?"

"Maybe." Scarlett closed the box again.

Snake Eyes moved to put himself directly between the other three men and his girlfriend, glaring at them. For once, they didn't back down immediately.

"God, you guys are like a bunch of five year olds around Sean's baking." Scarlett shook her head. "Snake, let them live; I'll save you a few pieces."

"What about us?" Bazooka gave her his best hurt puppy eyes.

"Buck a piece."

All three men immediately started digging though their pockets. Scarlett dropped her head into one hand. "I was kidding…here." She elbowed Snake Eyes aside and pulled out the Tupperware container. "Knock yourselves out…I couldn't eat all of this anyway."

Snake gave the other three exactly fifteen seconds, and then stalked over and glowered at them. Wisely, they backed off. Scarlett shook her head at him.

"Jeez, I'll tell Sean to send you some…You don't do this when he sends chocolate fudge."

*The peanut butter is better.*

"See, you would be wrong." She sealed the container and he followed her out of the supply room. "I talked to Hawk this morning…he's going to alert the local law enforcement and military branches to keep an eye out for Bludd and the Baroness, and if things turn ugly Jaye and the boys will have at least some backup until we get there."

*Good.* That _was_ good…he hadn't liked the idea of the four Joes alone with Bludd in the area.

"I still wish that Hawk would send you or Tommy out with them." Scarlett sighed. "I _know_ you two could deal with pretty much anything short of a squad of HISS tanks."

*Apparently Hawk's orders were not to rack up a body count on this op.*

"Yes, they were…it's still a politically sensitive area. Still, its _you."_She frowned. "It's not like you'd even be _seen_unless things started getting rough. And if Cobra troops show up, there's going to be a body count no matter _what_ the brass wants." She sighed. "Oh, well. I'm not a general; I don't cut the orders."

They rounded a corner and Scarlett almost bumped into Duke. The First Sergeant eyed the box in her hands.

"Is that fudge?"

"Yes, and I think Snake Eyes is going to start killing people if I give away any more." She glared up at him. Snake did his best to look innocent. "Who would have guessed that ninjas would have a sweet tooth?"

Duke laughed. "Well, I'm not one to come between a ninja and his baked goods…Did I tell you that two of the greenies just washed?"

"No." Scarlett held up a finger. "Don't tell me…the army boy who attracts paintballs and the marine that Snake used as a punching bag the other day."

"I don't know; Snake, was the greenie you used as a mop in the dojo bald?"

*Yes.*

"Then you got it in one, Scarlett."

*They didn't last long.* Snake wasn't particularly surprised. *Why'd they quit? Beach?*

"The army boy spent ten minutes telling me about how he didn't believe that the Joe drill sergeant could be as bad as rumor said. It seems our ranger's name is feared throughout all divisions of the armed forces." Duke shook his head and smiled. "At least we know that the ones who stay are tough…or certifiable."

*Both.* Snake eyes observed. *You should tell BeachHead that his name is legend…let him know he's doing his job well.*

"I just might." Duke went to leave, and paused. "Oh, and I've cleared the rest of the newbies for live flight training today…Sky Strikers for most of them, a Ghoststriker for the Air Force recruit…she's already flight qualified on most of our hardware. They'll be riding along with veteran pilots first, of course."

"Pity Ace isn't here." Scarlett said.

"I'm not supposed to know, but the betting pool is up and running…Clutch is acting as bookie. I think that he's got bets running on how many times each of the greenies throws up. I know the army boys will; they went dead white when I told them that they'd have to be qualified for basic aircraft operation to stay with the Joe team."

"Ugg." Scarlett winced. "Yeah…I remember that. Who're they sending the pilot up with? Don't they usually _try_ to make the greenies hurl their first trip up with our hardware?"

"Yes…She's going up with Slip-Stream in a Ghoststriker. He's taking it as a personal challenge, too. She's been claiming that she's _never_ been airsick."

Even Snake winced at that. *Slip-Stream? That man is _insane.*_

"He considers pulling nine G's _fun_." Scarlett shuddered. "Yeah. _I'd_ lose my lunch if I rode with him."

"Well, they're going up as soon as you finish with hand-to-hand this afternoon if you want to go out to the airstrip and watch. The stunts should be good, at least." Duke moved off.

They reached Snake Eyes' room. Tommy was just coming out of his own quarters across the hall; when he'd first joined the Joe team, no one had quite trusted Storm Shadow enough to want to bunk with him. He'd been assigned private quarters across the hall from Snake, the theory being that Snake Eyes could keep a better eye on the ninja than anyone else in the Pit. While everyone had gotten used to their ex-enemy by now, the room assignments had never been reexamined.

"Ready for me to show you how a _shuriken_is used?" Tommy raised an eyebrow, and then sniffed. "I smell peanut butter…is that fudge?"

Snake glared. *Mine.*

"_Mine._" Scarlett corrected him. "And if you're a good boy, Snake, you can have some later. You boys go play with your toys now. I've got intel briefs to read before hand-to-hand."

She vanished into their room.

"_Whipped_, brother." Tommy grinned wickedly. "She's got you _whipped._"

*Shut up.*

They spent the next hour down in the shooting range; Snake managed to prove that even though he'd been second in the class in throwing weapons, he _could_ knock the top student's throwing stars out of the air with his own often enough to _really_ frustrate Tommy. And put a _shuriken_ a full three inches deep into the bull's-eye; considering that the throwing stars they were using were about four inches across, even Tommy had to admit that his sword brother had kept up his skills with throwing stars.

By the time that they left the range to prepare for hand-to-hand, a small but appreciative crowd had gathered to watch the two ninja practice their throwing arms. Ninja training in general was considered high entertainment in the Pit; Snake Eyes, while he would have preferred to train away from prying eyes, had become accustomed to this fact long ago.

Tommy, on the other hand, _thrived_ on the attention and admiration. It was a dichotomy that never failed to amuse Snake; his sword brother was a scion of a line of ninja, trained to stealth and covert operations, able to move unseen and unheard through the most crowded of rooms, to assassinate a target, scope out a locale, or steal intel without anyone catching so much as a glimpse of him. Storm Shadow was _good_ at what he did; Thomas Arashikage was undisputedly one of the most deadly ninja alive.

He also _loved_ being noticed and admired for his skills. Snake shook his head as his sword brother grinned and bowed to their audience, to the sound of hearty applause.

Hand-to-hand went well; the remaining greenshirts tried hard and were respectful of their teachers. Banger again spent a good chunk of the class getting thrown to the mats; Snake Eyes doubted that she'd ever be more than passable at unarmed combat. Still, she tried her best, and being bounced around like a basketball didn't seem to faze her.

The SEAL on the other hand-he called himself Burner-had some potential. Snake Eyes could tell that if the man didn't wash, he'd be in the advanced class fairly quickly.

When he, Shana, and Tommy let class out, Banger took off like a shot; Snake was surprised that she didn't leave flaming footprints down the hallway. The other greenies followed her at a more subdued pace. The two army men were muttering nervously to each other.

"Flight training?" Tommy fell in beside Snake.

He nodded.

"Who's taking up Sherry?"

Snake Eyes shot his sword brother a look. *First name basis already?*

"Shut up. She's cute, she's funny, and all the other women in this place are already involved with someone. I've been going through withdrawal."

Shana swung a fist at his shoulder. Tommy dodged, and smirked at her. "I can't help it if a woman finds me irresistible. _Look_at this face! Can you blame her, really?"

"You are an _ass._" Shana scowled at him.

"But an ass with a shot at getting laid sometime in the near future." Tommy said smugly.

Snake smacked his sword brother across the back of the skull. *Shana's right…you are a jerk sometimes.*

"Ow…I'll get you for that, later." Tommy glared at him. "You're two to talk…you couldn't be pried apart with a bloody _crowbar._And you didn't answer my question."

"Compare our relationship to your flings and I _will_ shoot you in your sleep." Scarlet growled. "And Slip-Stream's taking her up."

Tommy eyed her. "Yes…you probably would, at that. Is the usual greenie hazing taking place?"

*Apparently.*

"Who's running the pool?"

*Clutch, according to Duke.*

"I should find him and put some cash down…my money is on Sherry keeping her lunch down."

"It's _Slip-Stream_." Scarlett said. "He's _proud_ of the time his engine stalled at fifty thousand feet and he pulled it out thirty feet from the damn _ground_. The man is not sane."

"So I'll be winning your money then when she doesn't throw up?"

"You're on, ninja. Hundred bucks?"

"Done."

When they got to the airstrip, there was a small group already assembled; heads tilted upwards. Snake glanced up; there were four Sky Strikers and a Ghoststriker circling above.

"Good timing." Dusty waved at them. "Breaker has a radio set up so that we can listen in."

Ten minutes later, and Clutch was already settling some bets. The SEAL, unpredictably, had been the first to grab for his airsickness bag. One of the army boys had succumbed to a barrel roll shortly after. So far, Beater, BuckleUp, and the last army man were all holding out, and the Joe fighter pilots were escalating their stunts accordingly.

Snake watched a Sky Striker scream overhead, shoot straight up, and then, almost out of sight, turn a long, lazy loop. The sound of gagging crackled over the radio, but apparently BuckleUp managed to gain control of his stomach. A disappointed groan rose from several of the assembled Joes.

The last army boy-Arcade -was apparently discovering that he had a tougher stomach than anticipated. His Sky Striker flipped upside down as it made a pass, and an exhilarated whoop sounded from Breaker's audio setup.

Banger, so far, seemed totally unfazed.

Five minutes later, and BuckleUp lost his fight to a tight series of barrel rolls followed by a brief nose dive. Bets were settled, and anticipation heightened as Slip-Stream and Blaster really got down to busness.

Blaster took his Sky Striker straight up, looped backwards, and twisted the plane into a barrel roll. Arcade finally started to retch; three consecutive loops and a nose dive later and the army grunt was heaving into his airsickness bag.

That left Slip-Stream; Snake listened to the betting with half an ear as he watched the Ghoststriker. Apparently, it had been taken into consideration that Banger was a pilot herself; the general consensus was on Slip-Stream going full out for at least five minutes before the little Air Force woman's stomach lost to the Joe pilot's sheer insanity.

Slip-Stream looped out, almost lost to the horizon, and started picking up speed. Snake Eyes winced as, almost directly overhead and moving at speeds that a high-grade hurricane could envy, the Ghoststriker turned nose-up and screamed straight up. The plane abruptly started spinning, turning barrel rolls so tight and fast that the plane resembled a top. Then Slip-Stream leveled off, upside-down, turned seven consecutive loops, and then dove straight at the tarmac.

"Oh, _screw_ that." Scarlett looked slightly green. "I am _never_ flying with that man."

Snake Eyes had to agree with her.

Six minutes passed, and Banger was still managing to keep down her breakfast. Ten, and still no retching over the radio. Fifteen, and while the little pilot's previous yells of excitement were absent, not so much as a gag.

After a full half-hour, Slip-Stream was radioed to return for a landing. The veteran fighter pilot brought the Ghoststriker in for a picture-perfect landing, and when he hopped out of the cockpit, he was grinning.

"Fun." He nodded. "Pulled eleven Gs; good times." He ambled off to jot down something in his flight log.

Banger emerged. She was wobbling a bit when she got down to the tarmac and made her way over to the little crowd, but she seemed okay.

"Wow." She shook her head; she sounded slightly shell-shocked. "That was…intense. I have _never_ seen someone fly like that before…Slip's a _hell_ of a pilot. I _need_him to teach me some those moves."

Tommy poked Scarlett, grinning. "Fork it over, Red."

"Crap." Scarlett dug through the pockets in her cammies, and pulled out five rather crumpled twenties. Tommy pocketed them, still smirking.

'kay, next chappy, I _swear_ I'll have Jaye's report on the goings-on in Russia.


	6. Chapter 6

Apparently people like the dabblings of my way-too-steeped-in-pop-culture-brain. Who would have guessed?

Thanks for the positive reviews so far! They are delicious. They taste like chicken.

The next two days slipped by without any interesting word coming in from the four Joes in Russia. On the third day, however, when Snake Eyes was summoned to Hawk's office, his stomach did that familiar little flip that usually heralded things sliding south _really_rapidly.

Scarlett, Tommy, Stalker, BeachHead, Duke, Flint, Slip-Stream, Lift Ticket, Bazooka, and several others were already there. Snake fell in and snapped to attention automatically.

Hawk eyed them. "I got a coded message from Jaye this morning, and it's not good. Cobra is definitely in the area, and Bludd and the Baroness are digging in all over the city; Jaye definitively confirmed that there are already viper troops entrenched in the civilian area and more are moving in. She's managed to dig up some intel; Cobra is after nuclear material, but there's more."

He sighed heavily. "Apparently there is an underground laboratory in the area that was used for nuclear research during the cold war. Jaye thinks that Cobra wants the facility to use as a Russian base of operations, and they're moving fast; Footloose overhead a conversation mentioning HISS tanks and Fang helicopters moving in sometime in the next week."

He stood, and began to pace. "Obviously this is an unacceptable situation, and if I'd gotten my way in the first place we'd already have the forces in the area to deal with the situation. But," Hawk frowned. "I was told to keep this low key."

He scowled suddenly. "Damn armchair commanders…get them in the line of fire, so they'd actually know what they're talking about." He shook his head. "I've been cleared to manage the situation from here on as I see fit, and I'm sending a full team in. You all leave in thirty six hours…except for you two." He pointed at Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes. "You leave in one hour. Wild Bill will drop you in, you will check in with Jaye and her team, and when the rest of the team gets there all six of you will meet up with them. I want you to do a full recon of the city; I want to know how many vipers we are facing, what they're armed with, what kind of backup they have, where they are…all of it. You'll have twenty four hours, and I want it clean; no killing unless you don't have a choice. I don't want you and the other four to end up dead because you got smoked out before I could get the rest of the team inserted."

Tommy's eyes had gone hard, and his teeth were very white as he smiled. "Sir."

Snake Eyes was already thinking, planning. He'd need his _ninjato,_his favorite knife, his Uzis, extra clips…he nodded to Hawk, curled thumb and forefinger into the "Ok" symbol.

"Get moving; gear up with whatever you need and meet Wild Bill on the tarmac. He'll be ready to go. You'll be wearing wires, so that we can contact you if need be. Good luck."

Snake and Tommy spun on their heels and were gone.

Five hours later, and Snake Eyes and his sword brother were plummeting from the Tomahawk helicopter driven by Wild Bill. They'd been dropped some ten kilometers outside of the target town of Azov, and would foot the final few klicks.

Snake Eyes pulled his 'chute, and braced for the jerk as he lost speed. The straps cut into his chest, and then he was drifting in for a perfect landing. Tommy hit the ground some hundred yards to his right. The two ninja quickly packed up their parachutes and started for the distant cluster of buildings.

They advanced quickly, automatically slipping into cover and, for all intents and purposes, vanishing.

Legend said that ninja could turn themselves invisible. This was only partly untrue; ninja were, in fact, masters of not being noticed. The human eye notices movement, then form. Ninja were masters of concealing movement or blending movement into the natural motion of their surroundings and distorting the easily-recognized human form into something as innocuous as a boulder or a tree's shadow.

It came out to pretty much the same thing as invisibility, and when they reached the outskirts of Azov and slipped into the shadows of the buildings they went unnoticed by the vipers stationed with binoculars in the upper floors of the offices and apartment complexes.

Moving invisibly in an urban environment was just as easy for Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow as moving unseen through a natural setting. The two ninja made a beeline for the small home that Jaye, Ace, SnowJob, and Footloose had set up their equipment in.

Snake Eyes, sliding through the northern night easily, totally at home in the darkness, counted fourteen viper troops on the streets as he ghosted past. They were wearing civvies, but each had the omnipresent Cobra symbol embroidered on their left shoulder.

Snake Eyes shook his head. The Commander _always_ had to splash that flaming red snake over _everything_. It made his job almost too easy sometimes.

He and Tommy met just across the street from the Joe's base. They crouched on the roof of a house, hidden by the overhanging branches of a massive fir.

Storm Shadow's fingers moved in the dim light that filtered down from the stars and up from the occasional streetlight. *They're all over; I counted twenty vipers.*

*I saw fourteen.* Snake signed back. *And that's just the ones outside.*

Tommy nodded, thoughtful. *I'm guessing a full battalion-five hundred men. That's what they'll usually field for an op of this size.*

They looked at the house across the street. The lights were on, the curtains drawn. The two ninja shinnied down to the ground, and slipped across to the house in the cover of the fir tree's shadow.

Snake crouched in the stunted pine shrubs near the foundation, keeping watch. Storm Shadow picked the exterior cellar door in roughly three seconds, and they slipped inside.

Up the basement stairs and Tommy put his eye to the line of light under the door. He stayed there for several seconds, then stood and casually swung the door open and sauntered through. Snake stalked along behind him.

Jaye was standing in the tiny kitchen, a cup of coffee in her hand. Ace was sitting with his back to the basement door, eying a radio setup.

Jaye caught sight of them, yelped, went for her sidearm automatically, and almost spilled her coffee. Ace spun, also moving for his gun. The pilot relaxed instantly when he saw who the intruders were, grinned, and waved.

"Christ, you two!" Jaye took her hand off of her gun. "Make _some_noise; you're going to give me a heart attack one of these days."

"I take it you noticed the rather dense snake population in the area?" Ace leaned back in his chair.

Snake Eyes nodded.

"Local law enforcement started evacuating civilians just before dark." Jaye said. "On our recommendation. Really quietly, of course; we don't want to tip off Cobra to our presence yet-we'd get slaughtered. Hawk sent the orders in to evacuate whoever we could just after he sent you two over."

She pulled a folded sheet of paper from her pocket. "Here's a map of the town, if you want to take a look quick before you get down to business. I've marked where we've seen the most Cobra activity, but I can't give you much more help than that." She smiled, a little ruefully. "We've been trying to keep quiet."

"Understandable." Tommy took the map, scanned it, and handed it to Snake. Snake looked it over, committing lines and names to memory before handing it back to Jaye.

He glanced at his sword brother. *I'll take east of the main road, you take west.*

Storm Shadow nodded, his eyes sharp. Snake saw the cloth of his sword brother's mask crinkle as the ninja smiled. "We'll be back in a few hours." The white-clad Arashikage turned to Jaye. "If you need us before then…"

"We shouldn't, but we can contact you if things get sticky here."

Outside, Snake slid into the shadows again as Tommy vanished in the same fashion. Taking to the rooftops, Snake Eyes started his sweep.

An hour later, he mentally marked down the location of a sniper nest as he clung to the side of a tall office complex. The situation was worse than he had expected; he'd spotted a the sniper nest, found three fortified residential buildings that were being used as bunkers, and counted no less than seventy Cobra troops moving about.

Fortunately, he didn't see many civilians. Azov wasn't a particularly large town, and Snake Eyes hoped that most of the civilian population had managed to make it to safety.

He eeled his way over the edge of roof, catching toe and finger holds in the rough brickwork. The alleys here were narrow, and it was a simple matter to hop the short distance between the two buildings and catch himself on the frame of a window before edging his way horizontally. Around the corner of the building and he dropped down behind some trash cans.

Boots sounded; he crouched, drew his knees to his chest, wrapped his arms around his shins, and the only thing that the five vipers saw when they rounded the corner was trashcans and shadows. They passed, and Snake continued on his recon sweep.

Vipers were trained gunmen. They were soldiers. They were highly loyal, well-trained, and feared by most of the world. They'd dug in, and they were well established and highly alert.

They weren't a match for ninja. Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow ran their reconnaissance sweeps without incident, finishing just before dawn.

Next chappy will be longer…prepare for BeachHead stomping viper face, ninjas stomping viper face, some other Joes stomping viper face…

Actually, prepare for quite a bit of viper face to get curb stomped. It will be violent. YAY!


	7. Chapter 7

Right. Let's just get to the sweet action scenes.

_Aho Baka,_ loosely translated, is Japanese for "Dumbass idiot"

SnowJob and Footloose were on watch when the two ninja returned to the safe house; Footloose yelped and halfway pulled his Glock when Tommy casually strolled up the stairs into the kitchen.

"Don't DO that." The infantryman shoved his gun back into its holster. "I could have killed you."

"No, you wouldn't have." Storm Shadow shook his head.

Footloose scowled. "Look, ninja, I know you're fast, but if I get off a shot from ten feet you are _dead."_

"Maybe." Storm Shadow's tone clearly indicated that he thought otherwise. "But I just meant that you wouldn't shoot blind."

"Oh." Footloose sat back; he'd leaned forwards, scowling at the two ninja. "Well…no, I wouldn't."

Jaye and Ace came rushing in from the other room, clothes rumpled from sacking out between shifts. "What's the verdict?"

*Give me that map.* Snake Eyes plucked the paper from Jaye and spread it out on the kitchen counter. *Tommy?*

Storm Shadow located a pen in the mess of papers and equipment on the kitchen table and leaned over the map with his sword brother. "Definitely a full battalion…there are sniper nests here, here, here, and here, and RPG nests here and here guarding major roads into the city." He marked the appropriate buildings. "Two abandoned warehouses are being used to store weapons, ammunition, and vehicles…here and here. Troops are sweeping the streets, and while plenty of houses are inhabited there were almost no civilians left in my half of the town."

He glanced at Snake. "We dropped in right in the middle of a long-term op, unless your sweep turned up something else."

Snake shook his head. *Cobra has been moving in for awhile; I found civilian vehicles and residences that have been modified for military purposes. I'm guessing that there weren't many civilians left when the town was evacuated. I'd put ninety percent of the town's population as Cobra agents.*

"I thought so." Tommy leaned back over the map. "_Aho Baka_Cobra agents…It's a wonder they didn't recognize you four, but fortunate for us. The entrance to the underground laboratory is outside of town, up inside the military zone around the old missile silo." He glanced at them and grinned, his mask crinkling. "That was actually a _little_ bit of a challenge to get into."

*We are all duly impressed.* Snake glared.

"Right…Cobra hasn't infiltrated the military zone yet. I'm guessing that they were planning to move in heavy artillery and air support and flat-out assault the military facility. Subtlety has never been a strong suit of the Commander's." He grimaced. "Moron."

Snake took the pen from his sword brother's hand, and swiftly jotted notes on the map. *Snipers here, here, and here.* He pointed, and Tommy nodded. *Homes modified into barracks here, here, here, and here. There are stores reinforced into bunkers here, here, here, here, and here, with spotters keeping watch constantly. RPG nests here and here. And, I lifted this from the officer's barracks.* He slid a folded sheet of paper out of one of his pockets. Tommy took it, shook it out, scanned it quickly, and groaned.

"What?" Jaye grabbed the sheet of paper. "Uh oh."

"What?" Footloose looked from her to Snake.

"Orders to have all civilians either taken as hostages or removed by the time the Baroness brings in the HISS tanks and FANGs on the eleventh." Tommy glanced out the window; the eastern sky was turning grey.

"Oh, crap…today's the eleventh, isn't it?" SnowJob went white behind his red beard.

"Yes. We need to move for our rendezvous point, and _now."_ Tommy turned to the other four Joes. "Leave the equipment…It'll slow us down."

"But if Cobra troops find it…"

*Doesn't matter; they'll be looking for you anyways. As far as they know, you're all civilians.* Snake Eyes signed. *If they catch you either way, you're dead. Speed is our best shot.* He turned, jabbed a finger at the map, and traced his finger along a precise route.

"Agreed." Storm Shadow nodded once, and turned to eye the other four again. "Now, listen. This sort of thing is what Snake and I train for, but you just aren't ninja, or even commandos. Do _exactly_ what Snake Eyes and I tell you to, and try to move like we move. Do_not_ discharge your firearms for _any_ reason; if we have to fight, it needs to be silent or we'll attract the attention of every viper in this town. Do _not_ scream, cough, talk, or even _sneeze._ We need to get you to the rendezvous point in one piece, and we can't do that if you bring all five hundred vipers down on our heads. Snake and I will clear the way if need be, so you four just concentrate on being quiet and doing what we say. Understood?"

Jaye nodded, her lips a thin line. Ace, Footloose, and SnowJob saluted. "We follow, oh fearless ninja." Ace grinned.

They led the four Joes out the cellar door. Tommy cocked his head, listening, then gestured for the four Joes to follow him. He darted across the street, running low and silently and sticking to the darker shadow of the trees. The little group followed, with Snake bringing up the rear.

Snake and Storm Shadow ushered the other four Joes into the cover of some dense foundation plantings, and waited.

"Wh.." Ace started to ask something, and shift to look down the street. Tommy clamped a hand over the pilot's mouth and drove an elbow into his back, forcing him down flat on his belly again.

Down the street, ten vipers rounded the corner, marched down the street, and finally vanished from sight once more. Storm Shadow waited another few moments before loosening his grip on Ace.

*Stay quiet!* Storm Shadow signed, glaring furiously at the pilot. *If you have to communicate, use sign…I _know_you all understand it.*

*Sorry.* Ace looked chagrined.

*Just stay close.* Snake levered himself up, fixed his eye on their next point of cover, and wormed his way through the dense hedge. He darted forwards, running crouched, on his toes, as silently as a ghost, just as the Hard and Soft masters had drilled into him years ago.

The sound of Jaye and the four men following was, to his ears, terribly loud. He cringed, though the slight rustling of the grass really wasn't very loud at all to an untrained ear.

*Move on tiptoe.* He advised the four, as they flattened themselves against the side of a garage, overhung with creeping vines. *Put your toe down first, then roll your weight towards your heel…it will be quieter.*

They obeyed, and Snake Eyes breathed a sigh of relief…they still made too much noise for his taste, but it was an improvement. The six of them moved more slowly than he would have liked, but the other four just weren't ninja; they couldn't move as quickly as he and Tommy could without sacrificing stealth.

The sky was pink now, and they had reached the industrial section of town…almost halfway through town, then they'd be in the country, and from there it was just a few klicks to the rendezvous point and backup. They were doing well.

When they hit the narrow alleys of the commercial area's back streets, Snake caught a toehold on a boarded-up window, a handhold on the top of a doorframe, caught his fingertips over the edge of the roof, and pulled himself up, sliding into the shadows of exhaust vents and ventilation fans. He moved ahead, scanning their path, then leaned over the edge of the roof and flashed Tommy the "Ok".

His sword brother and their four charges darted down the alley. Snake hopped the gap between roofs, darted ahead once more, and froze at the soft sound of a boot on cement. He edged to the very edge of the roof, glanced over.

Five vipers, right below him. He scooted back and shook his head at Tommy. Held out five fingers, jerked his head to indicate the next corner. Storm Shadow melted back into the shadows of a doorway, gesturing Jaye, Footloose, Ace, and SnowJob into hiding as well.

They scrambled for cover as the footfalls grew closer. Then Footloose tripped, his foot catching on a loose bit of trash. The _thwump_ as he caught himself and the high, skittering clinking of the bottle rolling away were very loud in the still morning.

Snake heard the vipers speed up, knew they'd heard. He broke for the Cobra troops; only one thing now, and that was to kill them quickly and quietly…

And then a trooper burst out of a doorway just below him, and Footloose was still picking himself up, he was an easy target, and the viper was raising a gun…Snake flung himself off the roof, onto the man, but he'd already squeezed the trigger.

Tommy shot out of nowhere, crashing into Footloose and bodily shoving him out of the path of fire. Snake heard his sword brother grunt in pain, and then Snake was landing on the viper, driving him down, twisting his neck until he felt the vertebrae snap.

The whirring whine of a _shuriken;_Tommy wasn't badly hurt, then. Snake turned to the five vipers rounding the corner. One suddenly grew a throwing star in his trachea, and fell without a sound. Snake drew his trench knife and lunged.

He came in low, exploded up into the first viper. His knife took the man under the ribs, sliding up to puncture heart and lungs. Another _shuriken_hissed just past his left ear, and another viper dropped, perfectly throat-cut. Snake whipped his knife at the fourth, watching it punch directly through the viper's eye socket, and then he was knocking the gun of the fifth out wide, and his hand shot out, flat palmed, slamming up into the man's face. The nose crumpled, and the man dropped, dead before he hit the pavement. Snake's strike had driven slivers of bone and cartilage from the ruined nose straight into the frontal lobes of the viper's brain.

He let out a breath, retrieved his knife. The one viper that'd got off a shot had been using a silencer, which was pretty standard for Cobra trained commando troops.

He turned to the others. Tommy had unwound his wristbands from one arm and was using them to bandage his upper arm. The ninja tugged the strips of cloth tight with his free hand and his teeth.

*Are you ok?* Footloose had gone white. *Man…thanks…*

*I'm fine.* Tommy signed shortly. *It just grazed me, but I don't want to leave a blood trail.*

Footloose fidgeted. Tommy glared at him. *You can thank me for saving you later. We need to keep moving.*

The white-clad ninja glanced at the dead vipers, and suddenly smiled. *I've been wanting to do that _all night.*_ He walked over, tugged his throwing stars from the dead vipers, and wiped blood from the throwing weapons onto the viper's uniform. The throwing stars vanished back into Storm Shadow's _gi._

They moved out again. An hour saw them to the outskirts of town, and they paused one more time, crouching low in the shadowed side of an empty restaurant.

Tommy suddenly cocked his head, and then scrambled back, gesturing frantically for the others to follow him. Snake followed without question, though he'd not heard anything. His sword brother's ears were far sharper than his own.

*Here.* Tommy waved the others into the narrow gap between a dumpster and the brick wall of the restaurant. The three men barely managed to squeeze in, and Jaye easily wormed her way into the small space. Tommy edged his way in next, and Snake squeezed in last, the black of his bodysuit blending him into the shadows.

He heard the familiar rumbling of tanks approaching just after freezing in place. Snake counted the HISS tanks as they rumbled past on the road, not twenty yards from their hiding place.

Fifteen. Once the squad of tanks was past, they edged out of hiding. Twenty minutes later, and they were out of Azov and jogging for the rendezvous point.

Next chappy will have gunfire, tanks exploding, BeachHead bashing viper heads (I promise this time!) ninja awesomeness…generally a good, violent time! YAY!


	8. Chapter 8

Woot! More battle action awesomeness!

Collect all fics, and they can be used to form the SUPER MEGA ACTION fic, with real moving joints and laser rifle attachment!

_Daishihan_is Japanese for "grandmaster". A _tsuba_ is the guard on a Japanese sword.

A Sig Sauer SG 550 is a Swiss built sniper rifle. Fires 5.56 millimeter rounds.

If anyone was wondering, I have several close friends who are Marines, an uncle in the Navy, two cousins in the Air force, and a friend in the Army. I am well versed in most military jargon as a result of this, and am REALLY good at cursing.

The rendezvous point was fifteen kilometers outside the city; Snake and Tommy jogged easily, pacing themselves to the other four Joes. It was midmorning by the time they reached the coordinates that had been agreed upon.

No one was here yet; it would be another few hours before the Joe reinforcements showed up. Snake broke out some K-rations and distributed them; Jaye snagged a chocolate bar and settled herself against the trunk of a tree. Tommy took a granola bar, eying the rest of the spread with mild distaste.

"Whoever decided this was food…" He snorted, and then shinnied up a tree to keep watch, vanishing fast enough to make SnowJob blink and do a double take.

"He's not a ninja, he's a damned squirrel." The snow trooper shook his head.

*Not at all. Ninja can climb better than squirrels.* Snake smiled as SnowJob shook his head.

"Crazy, both of you…" SnowJob shook his head again before settling down in the grass with a can that was labeled "Cheese" and two biscuits.

"You just figured that out?" Ace sighed theatrically. "SnowJob, buddy, you aren't as sharp as you pretend to be. _All_ninja are crazy."

*It's a prerequisite to being accepted for training.* Snake agreed.

Tommy landed next to Ace, touching down on his toes without a sound. The pilot jumped as the ninja sauntered past. "Damn spooks… Tommy, make _some_noise, warn a man!"

"Can't." Tommy grinned. "My uncles drilled that ability right out of me…and we got away clean; there's no one following us. Best keep an eye out for search patrols, though; they'll have found your electronics by now."

Footloose looked up at the ninja from his seat on the ground. "Thanks, Storm. I owe you one."

"Mmmm?" Tommy raised an eyebrow. "Oh…for _not_letting vipers use you as target practice? Feel free to repay me anytime. I accept life debts, bagels, reciprocal life saving, cash, personal checks, and most major credit cards."

"Smartass." Jaye said from her tree.

"_Daishihan_ of the art." Tommy grinned at her, and then glanced at Snake. "Shall I take first watch, or will you?"

*I'll go.* Snake caught a branch and pulled himself up into the tree that Tommy had recently vacated. He settled himself on one of the upper branches, balancing easily on the slender limb.

Below him, Tommy settled himself on a largish boulder, folding his legs into lotus and closing his eyes. Jaye dozed against the tree. Ace produced a pack of cards from one of his pockets and proceeded to deal himself, SnowJob, and Footloose a game of poker.

An hour crept by. Snake dropped out of the tree and poked Tommy in the shoulder. Storm Shadow brought himself out of meditation and took his turn on watch.

Two switches later, and Storm Shadow suddenly streaked down from his place in the tree. Snake looked up sharply.

"Five man patrol, half a mile out towards the town." Tommy grinned under his mask. "This one is _mine."_

Snake smiled and shook his head. *Have fun.*

"Oh, I _will."_ Tommy took off at a dead run, still managing to vanish utterly into the brush within a few steps. Snake Eyes climbed the tree once again, looking out towards Azov. Sure enough, he easily spotted the figures of five vipers, sweeping the countryside in a standard search pattern.

Exactly six minutes later, and the vipers had moved perhaps a few hundred yards closer. Snake smiled as he watched a white flash briefly rise out of a bush, and one of the vipers vanish backwards, clawing at his throat.

A second viper simply fell without any visible attack. Snake Eyes knew better; the Arishakage poison formula killed swiftly and (almost) painlessly.

Then Storm Shadow rose out of hiding, and Snake caught the faint gleam of sunlight off of his sword brother's _ninjato_. Four seconds later, and the remaining three vipers were down. Tommy vanished once more, and ten minutes later was jogging back up to the other Joes.

Ace looked up at him. "Done already?"

"There were only five." Storm Shadow shrugged. "Barely a warm-up."

"You know, some people consider five on one _bad_ odds."

"Ninja." Tommy grinned. "Getting out of hopeless situations, infiltration of impossibly well-guarded fortresses, and single-handed destruction of large enemy forces is what I _do."_

*He's right.* Snake dropped out of the tree. *Standard ninja training; violating the laws of physics. You're still on, Tommy.*

Storm Shadow returned to the sentry position in the tree. It was another few hours before Tommy suddenly cocked his head, listening.

"Backup is here." He slid the _tanto_ he'd been sharpening back into the top of his _tabi._

Snake strained his own ears. It was a minute before he heard the faint, rhythmic whine of helicopter blades.

Ten minutes later, and they were watching as Humvees and Wolverines landed with cargo 'chutes. Flint and Beach were jogging towards the little group waiting patiently under the fir tree.

"Got them out in one piece. Good job." Flint nodded at the two ninja before turning to hug Lady Jaye.

"You got the place scoped out for us?" BeachHead asked.

Snake Eyes nodded, produced the map. BeachHead scanned it. "Jesus…ain't messing around, are they?"

"They've been moving for this for awhile." Tommy said. "We got lucky enough to get here before they went for the military base…they started moving tanks in this morning. There's at least fifteen HISS tanks in that city now."

"Y'hear that?" BeachHead turned to yell at someone over his shoulder. "Cinderella! You got yourself some tanks to blow up!"

Over by the Wolverines, CoverGirl smirked. "What? Can't take them yourself, ranger man?"

"My limit is five tanks, Cinderella. The other ten or so are yours."

"Get a room." Tommy said dryly. BeachHead glared.

"Bite my ass, ninja. Now, we'll be moving in here pretty soon, and I see we've got snipers and RPG nests along our route. I want those gone, y'hear?" Snake nodded; he'd been expecting that.

Tommy positively beamed. "I thought you'd never ask."

"You are just a little cracked, ninja." Beach shook his head. "And you'd better not miss any. If I lose any men to a sniper because your spook skills were broken, I'm going to make myself a ninja-hide rug." The ranger scowled. "That goes for both of you."

"Duly noted." Tommy hadn't stopped smiling. "Did you want us to get moving now, then?"

"Yes." Snake Eyes and Tommy both snapped to attention; that had been Hawk. The senior officer was decked out in body armor and carrying an M16, and looked happier than Snake had seen him since Hawk had gotten into that fistfight with two Dreadnoks.

Snake Eyes had felt distinctly sorry for the Dreadnoks.

"Clear out those snipers and RPGs, and then just make yourselves useful." Hawk was smiling that tight little grin that meant he was looking forwards to shooting something. "You two both know how to use your skills to best effect on a battlefield; do it. Just leave us a few Cobra agents for target practice."

*Sir.* Snake Eyes saluted.

"No promises on leaving you any, sir." Tommy said, also saluting.

"You'd better…or I'll order Roadblock to stop baking breakfast breads for the next month."

Tommy winced. "That's low, sir."

"I know." Hawk's grin had spread. "Move out."

They did.

An hour later, and Snake and Storm Shadow were once again crouched just outside Azov's town limits.

*Same sides?* Tommy signed.

Snake nodded. Tommy grinned, and actually rubbed his hands together. *Oh, I _hope_I get my hands on the Baroness.*

*Hawk wants her alive.*

Tommy sighed quietly in frustration. *He would. He does know what happens if Zartan shows up?*

*I told him…Zartan's all ours.*

Tommy smiled, wickedly. *We can split him right down the middle and share him.*

*I was thinking slow evisceration, but that works.* Snake scowled. *I get his head.*

*We can eviscerate him first.* Tommy pointed out. *And you can have the head, if I get his hands…we'd best move. They're starting up the Wolverines.*

They split, and Snake slid through the town. The first sniper nest was on the upper floor of a suburban apartment complex; a corner room facing the countryside had four men with Sig Sauer SG 550 rifles and binoculars.

Snake Eyes slid in through an open window on the ground floor. There were two vipers guarding the main door; he ignored them and headed upwards.

Aside from the vipers, the building was empty. Snake Eyes simply took the stairs, cautious when he rounded the corners just in case. He met no resistance.

Top floor. Snake Eyes reached up, and levered one of the cheap tiles in the suspended ceiling aside. A water line ran just out of his reach. He removed his _ninjato,_ and wrapped the cord that secured the sword to his back around his right ankle. Propping the sheathed sword against the wall, he used the sturdy square _tsuba_ as a step, catching the metal pipe above him and pulling himself up. The sword followed him up, attached to his foot.

Above the ceiling tiles, he braced himself, one leg against a heating duct and the other hooked around the water line. He settled his sword across his back once more, and replaced the ceiling tile.

Really, he thought as he shimmied his way across water lines and girders, the ancient ninja could never have dreamed of how easy suspended ceilings made movement and infiltration. Whoever had invented the things, he owed them thanks; they made his job just so _easy_ sometimes.

He maneuvered himself above the corner room, where the four snipers were chatting in low tones. Snake paused, listening, but they weren't saying anything of import. He dropped down, edged a tile up just a bit and scoped out the room.

As he remembered. Two guards just outside the door, four snipers inside, and a spotter with high-powered binoculars…and a radio.

He slid a _shuriken_from the top of his boot, and aimed for the spotter. The man caught the bladed missile in throat, and fell clutching at the injury but unable to scream-the _shuriken_had severed his trachea. He'd be dead inside of a minute.

The snipers stared in shock as their teammate dropped, then scrabbled for their sidearm. It was too late; Snake dropped down right on top of the first, his knees hitting the man on the shoulders, driving him down and snapping his spine. He was across the room and had his sword unsheathed almost before the first viper had settled to the floor.

His stab took a viper in the kidneys, and Snake spun the man, taking the bullet meant for his head with the dead man's back. He brought up an Uzi, and put a 9 mm round right between the viper's eyes. A pivot, and two more shots took out the last two snipers. Another pivot, and the guard slumped halfway through the door with a bullet hole where his left eye used to be.

Snake flicked the blood from his sword, sheathed it, and trotted back down the stairs. He slipped back out the window and moved for his next target.

Thirty minutes, three sniper nests, and one RPG crew later, and the microphone in Snake's ear crackled.

"Snake, Storm!" It was Hawk's voice. "We're moving into town. How're those snipers coming.?"

"Dead." Tommy's voice crackled back. "I've got two RPG nests to go, and my side of town is clear."

"Snake?"

Snake tapped out his reply. *One RPG nest.*

"Good…what?" Hawk's voice cut out for a second. "Sonova…change of orders. BeachHead and his team are pinned down under heavy fire from an enemy bunker. Coordinates…" The general rattled off a string of numbers. "Get their asses out of there before they get shot. Doc complains when Beach is in the med ward."

Suddenly another voice cut in over the audio. "Sir!" Snake recognized the voice as that of one of the previous batch of greenshirts. "Sir! Sergeant Major just broke cover and charged the bunker!"

"Ah." Hawk again. "Storm, Snake, cancel my previous order. Beach won't be needing you."

"Sir! We're going to need a medic! He's going to get killed!"

"Son, where's Beach now?"

"He…" The greenshirts sounded frantic. "He just kicked in the bunker door, sir, and ran in!"

"How many vipers inside?" Hawk asked calmly.

"At least half a dozen!"

A chuckle. "God help them…no one else can now."

Thirty seconds passed. Snake could hear the sounds of gunfire from the northern edge of town. He jumped down from a low roof, rolled to absorb the impact, and slid into the shadows of an alley, making a beeline for his last target.

"Sir?" The greenie's voice crackled over the mike again, sounding incredulous. "Sergeant Major…he just came out! He's fine!"

"Sir?" That was Beach's low rumble. "Are we taking prisoners?"

"Not unless you find someone high value." Hawk sounded amused. "I take it you survived your bunker-busting?"

"Good, cause I didn't think of taking prisoners until it was too late. And 'course I survived. Ain't like I've never done it before." That last growl was rather obviously directed at the greenshirt.

Snake smiled to himself. BeachHead's seeming invulnerability to bullets, mortars, and most high explosives were legend, and usually terrified at least one or two greenshirts into thinking that the ranger was suicidal. After seeing the destruction that BeachHead was capable of causing, they usually stopped worrying so much.

Next chapter will have more fighting, and Storm Shadow gets his hands on a REALLY fun toy…


	9. Chapter 9

Here's the new chapter…Storm Shadow gets to have FUN in this one, the vipers, not so much…Mwahahaha!

Snake Eyes crouched at the edge of the roof of his final RPG nest, a small building that had once been a hardware store from the looks of the place. He leaned down, examined the interior of the building.

Three vipers, one with the RPG and two with AK-47s. Snake reached for his knife, but then his microphone crackled.

"Snake! Storm!" It was BeachHead. "We're hung up here…We've got HISS tanks moving in and we're still pinned down by an RPG crew! Get yer sneaky asses over here and take care of those mothers!"

"Working on it." Tommy's voice was distracted, and Snake heard the staccato bursts of gunfire, the high thin whine of something very sharp moving through the air very fast, then a wet, gurgling sort of noise that he recognized as someone trying to breathe through a sliced throat. "I'm kinda trying not to get shot here."

Snake grabbed a grenade, pulled the pin, and hurled the small metal oval through the window below him. He ran for the edge of the roof, jumped, rolling as he hit the ground. Behind him, there was a brief shriek of fear, which was abruptly cut off. He heard the explosion, the shattering of glass and the pattering ticks of debris hitting the street. He came out of the roll on his feet, and took off at a dead run for the north edge of Azov.

Move move move…he shot through an alley, flew over a chain link fence, stealth forgotten, just speed mattered, Joes were in trouble.

A squad of vipers materialized in front of him, and he had his Uzi up and was firing before they could even blink. They fell away, but one managed to get a shot off and Snake felt a sharp hot pain on his left thigh. He put a bullet through the viper's heart, and kept running.

And then he was pounding down an alleyway, and there on the main road just ahead of him was the battle. The Joes were using a couple damaged cars and a captured enemy bunker as cover, the wolverine and the Humvees pinned down just out of range of the RPG crew on the fourth floor of an office building. A squad of HISS tanks was rolling towards his teammates. Snake tensed, ready to move.

Then a hand landed on his shoulder; he turned and his knife was halfway out before he realized that it was Storm Shadow. His sword brother's white _gi_ was flecked with blood, but it didn't appear to be his.

"There are almost thirty men up there." Tommy nodded to the RPG nest. "And there are at least that many more guarding the lower floors. They know we're coming. Shall we?"

Snake smiled. Tommy grinned back, and the two ninja broke for the RPG nest without another word.

Across the street, zigging and zagging to make themselves more difficult targets. Tommy went right up and over a HISS tank that happened to be in his way. Snake saw his sword brother's _ninjato_ flash out of the corner of his eye, and the viper who'd poked his head up out of the tank fell back, while his head fell forwards.

They were to the building, and then were streaking _up_ the wall. This was where the hundreds of hours spent during their training on the cliff faces near the Arishikage compound paid off. Compared to the nearly sheer cliffs they'd trained on, an office building, with its decorative ledges, window sills, and fire escapes was practically a ladder.

The fourth floor, and Snake glanced inside the open window, ducking back quickly to avoid being spotted. He turned to face Tommy, dangling next to him from a handhold on the decorative ledge under the window and a toehold on a broken brick.

*I'll circle around, go in the opposite window.* Tommy signed one handed. *Give me thirty seconds.*

Snake Eyes nodded. Tommy took off horizontally, edging his way around the corner of the building and out of sight.

Twenty-nine, twenty-eight…Snake Eyes carefully slid his sword out. No Uzis, he didn't want to hit Tommy during the fight. Nineteen, eighteen...He braced himself, ready to spring. Five, four, three, two, _one._

_Now._ He sprung, catching the lip of the window and pulling as he kicked off from his toehold, and then he was through the window, and he was crashing into a very surprised viper and sending the man to the floor. The blade of his _ninjato_ swept across the viper's throat, and then he was on his feet, the sword coming up in a short, brutal stab that took the next viper right through the kidneys.

Across the room from him, Tommy had come in feet first, landing in a crouch and coming up with a sweep of his arm that sent _shuriken _hissing through the air. One viper pulled a missile from his leg, and promptly toppled over as he bled out, twitching, his femoral artery severed. Two more fell with gleaming throwing stars in their throats, Tommy's favorite throwing weapon target.

Storm Shadow unsheathed his twin _ninjato, _and methodically started slicing his way through any viper stupid enough to get in his way. Snake Eyes did the same thing on his side of the room.

The _ninjato _had been developed for indoors, extreme close-quarter fighting. It had a shorter and straighter blade than the samurai _katana_, which was used for dueling, for fighting outside, on battlefields…places with space to maneuver. The _tsuba_ on a _ninjato_ was larger than that of a _katana_, and squared off, providing better protection for the users' hands…and doing double duty as a stepping stool when necessary. The hilt of a _ninjato_ was longer than that of a _katana_, allowing for more creative positioning of the hands for more angles of striking. The blade of the ninja was absolutely deadly in the close quarters of a _daimyo's_ mansion.

In the hands of a master, it was just as lethal in the modern age, especially in close quarters where guns couldn't be effectively utilized for fear of shooting one's comrades. Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow were both masters of the weapon; two of the greatest masters of the _ninjato_ alive, if not THE greatest.

Snake Eyes ducked, stepped, sliced up, and the hand that the viper had been clutching a sidearm in hit the floor. A pivot, a cut _down_, and he'd cut the next man's leg open to the bone, the femoral artery spurting blood. Across the room, Tommy laid a viper's throat open all the way to the spine, then hit the floor as another viper discharged his pistol. The bullet hit another viper between the eyes, and then Tommy was surging to his feet, his sword flashing, and the viper dropped his gun to scream and clutch at the stumps where his legs had once been.

Ten seconds, and already fifteen vipers were down. Snake pulled three throwing knives out of his wrist-sheath, and whipped them through the air one-two-three. The first took a viper through the eye. The second hit a throat. The third slid between two ribs and Snake Eyes saw the telltale pink bubbles that meant he'd hit a lung. All three vipers fell.

Tommy stabbed a viper in the chest, then spun away, a bullet punching through the air where his head had been seconds ago. He kept spinning, and his foot whipped around in a back spinning kick to _crunch_ into the jaw of the viper manning the RPG. The man's head twisted at an unnatural angle, and Snake Eyes faintly heard the wet snapping of bone.

Ten more seconds, and it was over. Tommy flicked the blood from his blades, sheathed them, and snatched up the RPG launcher from where it had fallen. A case of rounds was sitting by the window, and Storm Shadow grabbed one, slammed it into the launcher, and looked out, down at the street below.

"Cover me." He said shortly. Snake Eyes could hear running footsteps outside the only door into the room; he grabbed an Uzi, and as Tommy aimed for the HISS tanks below the window, Snake pulled open the door.

Ten vipers were running down the hallway directly towards him. Snake emptied the half a clip that remained in his Uzi into them, then calmly ejected the spent clip, slipped it away into his utility belt, grabbed a full clip, and clicked it into place. Then he waited, listening to the shouts and distant footsteps on the lower floors as the vipers scrambled up the stairs towards him.

Behind him, he heard the distinctive hiss of a rocket firing, and then an explosion from the street below and laughter from his sword brother.

"Oh, I could get to _like_ these!" Tommy's voice was positively gleeful.

"Awwright!" Beach's voice crackled over the microphone; the ranger also sounded downright gleeful, which the drill sergeant usually did when watching enemy tanks explode. "Bout damn time! Alright, the spooks've got the rockets now! MOVE!"

Five vipers rounded the bend at the end of the hall. Snake Eyes dropped them with a quick burst from his Uzi. Behind him, another rocket hissed off into the street below, and another muffled explosion. A third explosion, and CoverGirl's whoop sounded over Snake's earpiece.

"_WHOOO! _Suck rocket, motherfuckers!" The ex-model was crowing in victory.

Storm Shadow fired off a third rocket, and a fourth and fifth explosion marked the end of two more HISS tanks.

"They're retreating!" Hawk shouted. "Keep on them!"

Ten more vipers rounded the corner. Snake Eyes opened fire, and they joined the growing pile of dead vipers on the floor. Tommy got off three more shots with the rocket launcher and turned three more Cobra tanks into scrap before the HISS tanks retreated out of range, chased by CoverGirl in her Wolverine and several Humvee crews, and, apparently, BeachHead chucking grenades and screaming profanity.

"Aww." Tommy sounded disappointed. Snake glanced back; his sword brother was eyeing the empty case that had held RPG rounds. A step behind him, and Snake Eyes emptied his Uzi down the hallway before he'd even turned back around. Two vipers, looking distinctly shocked, crumpled to the floor as he whipped back around to eye them.

"This shouldn't last much longer." Hawk's voice again. "We've got things under control now. Storm Shadow, Snake Eyes, see if you can't track down the Baroness and Bludd if they're still around? I'd like to have a long…" The senior officer paused for a second, and the sound of M16 fire crackled over the earpiece. "Gotcha…Anyways, I'd like to have a talk with those two."

"Sir." Tommy dropped the now-useless rocket launcher. "On it."

He glanced at Snake. "There was a FANG hidden just outside the city, near the military base."

Snake Eyes smiled. *Sabotaged?*

"But of course." His sword brother smirked. "I put just a _few_ holes in the gas tank…I don't think they'll be getting far."

*Why didn't you mention it earlier?*

"Because this way it makes us look even better when we drag the bitch and the idiot back to Hawk…_He_ doesn't have to know that we didn't track them down using our enhanced senses. And no one has to know that I _didn't_ jump on the helicopter as it was taking off and slice open the fuel tank mid-flight and then jump from the exploding wreck as the Baroness and Bludd parachuted to safety, like everyone will assume." Storm Shadow tapped a finger against his temple. "You're supposed to be a ninja, Snake…remember, incredible feats perceived are incredible feats achieved."

*You are impossible…and why do you get to do all that? What about me?*

"You met them on the ground and took them captive, after a short but vicious fight in which you almost got shot but managed to deflect the bullet with your bare hands."

*Very well. Shall we?* Tommy, still grinning, hopped out the window, and Snake Eyes followed his sword brother down the wall to the street.

Next chapter…the fighting will wrap up, Bludd and the Baroness will discover that there is no way to hide a helicopter from a ninja, and we might see our victorious heroes make it back to the Pit.


	10. Chapter 10

Whew! Lots of fighting action there. Well, we'll soon be back to downtime, so gather round, kiddies…

_She Pu_ is a ninjitsu advancing move used to crawl low and noiselessly when cover is scarce to adequate, and allows good visibility for spying. It translates into English as "serpent step"; the weaving motion of the crawl resembles the undulations of a snake in the grass.

Tommy and Snake Eyes slipped through the excitement, Snake following his sword brother towards the hidden Fang chopper. As they darted through the battle, Snake Eyes caught a glimpse of Hawk beating a viper down with the butt of his M16; the senior officer had a truly terrifying grin on his face. CoverGirl was running her Wolverine over the smoldering remains of a HISS tank, and BeachHead was yelling at his squad to keep moving as he picked off vipers through the windows of a bunker with his sidearm.

Snake caught a glimpse of Scarlett; his girlfriend was lying on top of a low roof with Low Light, protected by the ledge that ran around the rooftop. The sniper was picking off any vipers that attempted to circle around and flank the Joe team, and Scarlett was picking off any vipers that tried to get to the sniper. Snake breathed a soft sigh of relief. Scarlett looked totally unhurt, and he always worried about her when he wasn't right behind her as backup.

Tommy hopped up on top of a dumpster, caught the lip of a second floor windowsill, and swarmed up to a rooftop. Snake followed, and for the first time noticed the sharp flash of pain in his left thigh whenever he moved. He sternly put the injury from his mind and followed his sword brother.

Outside of Azov, they broke into an easy jog. Tommy led Snake Eyes towards a small clump of sad-looking brushy growth that looked as if it was trying to be a grove of trees but couldn't quite make it.

Storm Shadow smiled; a moment later Snake Eyes heard the faint sound of a heavily accented female voice, and a deeper male answer. Neither sounded happy.

"Oh, please resist." Tommy muttered. "Please please please resist."

They melted into the tall grass and low brush and rocks, and crept towards the voices. Snake Eyes dropped to his belly and inched forwards with _She Pu_ until he could see through the stunted trees.

The small FANG chopper had been covered in camouflage netting, which was now lying in a pile on the ground. The Baroness was examining the fuel tank on the little craft and swearing in at least four languages. Snake Eyes smiled; from what he could see, the fuel tank now consisted more of holes than metal.

"What are we supposed to do?" Bludd was fuming. "You said that you checked this thing over just yesterday!"

"I did." The Baroness slid out from under the aircraft. "It was fine then…and shut up! I'm thinking…something you wouldn't be familiar with."

"Well, what happened?"

The Baroness shot her colleague a withering look. "Idiot…those damned ninja found it. They must have been here last night; how did you _think_ they found our snipers so quickly today?"

Bludd glanced nervously around, his eyes moving right over Snake Eyes' hiding spot and right under where Tommy was balanced on the thin branch of one of the larger trees, hidden by the leaves.

"Relax." The Baroness sighed. "I've got a jeep hidden a few kilometers away; we can foot it that far. They're still fighting in the town, and I'd guess that the ninjas would be in the thick of it."

Just the slightest rustle as Tommy launched himself out of hiding, and as Bludd and the Baroness spun, Storm Shadow crashed into the tall woman, tackling her to the ground.

"Hello." Tommy's voice was _not_ friendly. Snake Eyes' sword brother pressed the blade of his _tanto_ just a little harder against the Baroness' throat. "You're lucky, you know." He smiled nastily. "If I had _my _way, you'd already be dead."

"Let her up." Tommy turned to eye the gun that Bludd had leveled at his temple. "You're going back to Mindbender, Storm Shadow…the Commander will be _very _pleased that I brought his favorite operative back."

"Mmm." Tommy shook his head. "Idiot…you _never _look behind you."

"Wha.." Bludd trailed off as his gun was jerked upwards and Snake's fist cracked sharply into his temple. The mercenary toppled over, out cold.

"He never learns. Ah ah ah." Tommy pressed the knife a _little _harder, and the Baroness stopped inching her hand towards the holdout pistol in her boot as a few drops of blood trickled along her skin. "_Bad _idea…I've been waiting for an excuse to kill you for _years._" Tommy grinned evilly. "I could always tell Hawk that you moved too far into a disabling strike…not _my _fault if I broke your neck when I was just trying to subdue you…"

"You will pay for this!" The Baroness was glaring up at her captor, apparently more angry than afraid. Snake Eyes had to give her credit for bravery; the woman had demonstrated again and again what Ripcord called 'balls of solid granite.' "Destro will free me, and you will all pay for your audacity!"

"Mm." Storm Shadow caught the roll of duct tape that Snake tossed him. "Likely…that's why I keep asking Hawk to just let me kill you." Any response was muffled as Tommy gagged her with a strip of tape. A few quick twists around her wrists and ankles, and Tommy stood, hauling the woman unceremoniously over his shoulder. "Sonova…you've put on some weight, haven't you?"

The Baroness made a furious noise, her face going scarlet in rage. Snake Eyes had already bound and gagged Bludd, and picked up the mercenary in a fireman's carry. His leg throbbed, and he stubbornly ignored it.

"Quit struggling, or I'll put you out, and you'll be hurting worse than you ever have before in your _life_ when you come around." Storm Shadow glared down at his captive. "Hawk wants you alive, but he didn't specify the condition otherwise."

The woman went limp; Snake could only guess that she'd seen firsthand just how much pain a ninja could inflict without causing lethal damage.

They trudged back towards town. Weighed down with their captives, it took them much longer to get back to the other Joes than it had to reach the hidden helicopter.

By the time they reached Azov once more, the fighting had wrapped up. The Joes were bundling a few captives into Humvees when Tommy and Snake Eyes walked up to the base of operations that had been established on the outskirts of town.

Hawk was leaning over a camp table, scribbling in a notebook. He straightened up as Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow came to attention and saluted. The senior officer grinned when he saw the two ninja's captives. "Excellent...I knew that you two would find them. FLINT!"

The warrant officer jogged up. "Sir? Oh, hi Snake, hi Storm. Success, I see."

"Of course." Tommy sounded almost insulted. "You expected anything else?"

"Take the two captives and secure them." Hawk ordered Flint. "We were just waiting on Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, so we can get moving out now…both of you go and see Lifeline. You're hurt."

Snake unceremoniously dumped Bludd into Flint's hands and glanced down at his leg. *I'm fine, sir. It's not bleeding anymore.*

Hawk raised an eyebrow.

*I'll go see Doc when we get back to the Pit, sir. I'm sure Lifeline is already busy enough.*

"I just got clipped, sir." Storm Shadow shrugged his burden off into Clutch's hands. "I don't need attention."

Hawk sighed. "Fine…but you both _will _go see Carl when we get back, and you will _not_ vanish into your rooms to bandage up whatever damage you took. That's an order."

Snake Eyes sighed. *Yes sir.*

Tommy sighed almost identically. "Sir."

"God…you two would claim to be fine if you had a limb missing…" Hawk shook his head. "Go get ready to head home; we'll be leaving soon."

Several hours later, and Snake was trying to doze as the troop transport flew back towards the USA and the Pit. Sleeping was rather difficult, though, since Scarlett was fussing and trying to get him to let her field-dress his leg.

*I'm fine.* He signed for the eighth time, but not as empathetically as he had the previous seven times. In the face of his girlfriends' worried persistence, his resolve was wearing thin.

"I swear, I could just kill you sometimes." Scarlett sighed. "Stop being so stubborn, Snake. Just let me look at it and clean it up a little."

"Give up." Storm Shadow advised him. Snake's fellow ninja had already let Roadblock clean the bullet graze on his upper arm. "You won't win."

Snake Eyes sighed. *Fine.*

Scarlet had cut his pant leg open almost before he'd finished giving his assent. "Snake, you've got to stop letting people shoot you…and I know you could have avoided this if you'd really wanted to. The bullet is still in there; there's no exit wound." She quickly cleaned the dried blood away with a sterile wipe. "How the hell were you running on this? It pegged you right in the big muscle in front of your thigh…this has to hurt like hell whenever you put weight on it."

*It does. I just ignore it.*

Shana sighed. "_Ninja_." She bandaged his leg and moved to sit beside him. "I swear, you two are more than a little crazy."

"He'd better be." Tommy was slouching against the wall, and had his feet propped up on the opposite bench. "Otherwise my uncles failed somewhere."

Scarlett threw the wadded-up gauze wrapper at the white-clad ninja. Tommy caught it without looking and tossed it back, hitting her right between the eyes. She glowered at him.

*Stop it.* Snake shook his head. *I'll go see Doc when we get back, Shana. Don't worry about me.*

"Snake, worrying about you is my job." Scarlett patted him on the shoulder. "Silly."

Tommy snorted with laughter. "Telling your woman not to worry about you when you get shot on a semi regular basis is a futile game, brother. Trust me on this."

"Call me his woman one more time…" Scarlett leveled a warning finger at Tommy.

"What? You are…oh, right. You wear the pants, not him. Sorry. Snake Eyes is _yours_."

Snake glared. Scarlett threw her hands up. "I give up."

Next chapter will have ninjas reluctantly receiving medical care, and Doc barely resisting the urge to just knock them both out. Also, more of Tommy and Sherry flirting, and more SE/S


	11. Chapter 11

Poor Doc has to deal with injured ninjas…Sorry, Doc. Also, smut. YAY!

They were debriefed on the transport; Snake's leg ached and he shifted uncomfortably several times before they were done. Scarlett looked sharply at him, and he forced himself to remain still.

When Snake Eyes at last limped off of the troop transport, Doc was waiting on the tarmac. The last of the sunset was tinting the medic's glasses orange and hiding his eyes, but Snake Eyes could still see the concern on Carl Greer's face.

"Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, you're coming with me." The medic pointed at them. "Now. Hawk contacted me and ordered me to meet you…said to make sure you didn't slip off to hide somewhere."

"We wouldn't do that." Tommy blinked innocently.

"Yes you would…don't give me that look." The medic glanced at Scarlett. "Drag your ninja along if you have to…Hawk said that he was the worse off of the two."

"He's got a bullet lodged in his leg." Scarlett said. "So yes, he is."

*I'm fine…and why does everyone think that you wear the pants in our relationship?*

"She does, Snake."

"Shut up, Tommy. You are not fine, Snake Eyes. C'mon." Scarlett hooked his arm with hers and steered him after Doc. She glanced over her shoulder at Tommy. "Don't make me drag you in too."

Tommy sighed theatrically but followed.

In the med center, the shallow graze where the bullet had winged Tommy's arm was quickly dealt with. Doc cleaned the cut again, then spread antibiotic cream over the injury and bandaged it. "You're lucky." He told the ninja. "This might scar a little, but not too badly…it could have been much worse."

Tommy grinned. "Isn't there a saying… 'Chicks dig scars?'"

" 'S true." A female voice broke from the med center's door. Banger was standing there. "We find scars rugged and manly."

Tommy grinned, gestured at the little woman. "See Doc? Told you. I'll be even more irresistible now."

Snake Eyes snorted. *If that was true, I'd spend all of my waking hours fending off supermodels.* Shana glared at him. *What? I said I'd fend them off.*

She shook her head. "You're almost as bad as Tommy sometimes."

Banger was still hovering in the doorway. She glanced at Doc. "Mind if I come in?"

"Not at all." The medic straightened up. "You're done, Storm. You'll need to have that dressing changed daily; Lifeline can do that."

Tommy nodded and stood, going to stand by Banger. The pilot stood on tiptoe and Tommy leaned over slightly. She whispered something to him, and he smiled. Snake Eyes sighed.

"Right…now, let's see here." Doc peeled the bandages off of Snake's leg. "You have to stop letting people shoot you, Snake Eyes."

*So I've been told…the other guy looks worse.*

"I'm sure." The medic cleaned away the seeping blood to get a better look at the damage. "I'm going to have to get that bullet out…let me get you a local."

*No.* Snake Eyes shook his head firmly.

Doc sighed. "This is going to hurt…anesthetic would make it a lot easier on you."

*No.* Snake Eyes hated the numbness of anesthetic more than he hated the brief agony of the pain. Pain he could deal with and was over quickly. The anesthetic took hours to wear off.

"Fine, but if you twitch around it's going to hurt even more."

*No anesthetic.*

"You are so stubborn…" Doc retrieved several instruments and a small metal tray. "I swear, I'm going to start carrying around a trank gun for you two."

"Wouldn't work." Tommy said from across the room. "We can dodge darts."

"Shut it, ninja, or next time you end up on my table I'm going to put in for three months of medical leave for you."

"Now, that's just cruel." Tommy gave the medic a hurt look.

"I swear I'll do it…and I'll do all the damned pushups Beach can throw at me if it means I don't have to deal with you for three months."

"Leave is a _bad_ thing?" Banger's eyebrows headed for her hairline. Tommy smiled down at her.

"I'm a ninja. Infiltration, battle, and danger are _interesting_. Leave isn't."

"Ooh. Man of action."

"You know it."

"Get a room." Scarlett groaned at them.

Tommy raised an eyebrow at her, and then glanced back at Banger hopefully. The pilot smiled and shook her head. "You wish. I haven't even gotten any chocolate out of this yet."

"I can do that." Tommy grinned. "Dark, milk, or white?"

"All three."

Snake shook his head, and then suddenly hissed between his teeth in pain as Doc went after the bullet with a pair of forceps. He forced himself to hold still; a few excruciating seconds later and Doc crowed in victory and dropped a bloody bit of metal on his tray.

"You want to keep it?" Doc cleaned the fresh blood off of Snake's leg and started stitching the ninja up. "You'd have quite a collection by now."

Snake Eyes shook his head. Doc bandaged his leg again. "There…now, no PT for you until that's healing well, and I'll tell BeachHead that you're not supposed to be on the course for at least a week. He'll chew you out more effectively than I ever could if you try to PT with an injury."

*Running?*

"No."

*Sparring?*

"Absolutely not."

*Kata?*

"I'm going to say no, but you're going to ignore that one, aren't you?"

*Completely.*

Doc sighed. "Just take it easy, ok? I know that you heal quickly…you should be fine for light exercises, weightlifting as long as you stay away from that leg, and stretching. In a week or two you should be back to normal. I want to see you every day to change that dressing, and I'm going to put you on antibiotics to keep that leg from getting infected. I repeat; take it easy." The medic glanced at Scarlett. "Keep him from doing anything stupid, will you?"

"I'll try." Scarlett smiled down at Snake Eyes. "But no promises…he doesn't always listen to me."

Snake grinned up at her. *I'll be _fairly_ good.*

She kissed him on top of the head. Tommy groaned. "Get a room, you two."

Snake twisted to look at Scarlett hopefully. Doc pointed a warning finger at them. "Take it easy, I said!"

"He will…" Scarlett grinned wickedly. "I'll keep him off that leg, don't worry."

Tommy made a gagging noise. "Scarlett, have mercy…_bad _mental pictures."

"You'll live." Scarlett tugged at Snake Eyes' hand. He willingly stood and limped off after her.

In their room, he peeled off the remains of his bodysuit. The quartermaster often complained that Snake went through skinsuits faster than he could order them; Snake Eyes had to admit that he wasn't particularly kind to his clothes, but then eeling through underbrush and shimmying through ventilation ducts caused some wear and tear on clothing.

* I am going to go and clean up.* He signed to Shana.

"Please do…you're filthy." She grimaced. "How did you get mud in your hair through your mask?"

*Sheer talent.* He limped into the bathroom.

Ten minutes later, and Snake Eyes was feeling distinctly more human. His leg still hurt, but he was experienced in ignoring pain. Scarlett took her own turn in the bathroom, and came out stark naked, tugging a brush through her hair and pulling it back into a braid. "God…I'm tired."

*You're brused.* Snake Eyes sat up on the bed, his frank appreciation of her body interrupted.

"Huh?" Scarlett twisted to eye the back of her left hip and the spreading purple welt there. "Oh…yeah. I kind of had to jump back to avoid getting hit by some rubble when the HISS tanks were trying to blow us up, and I landed wrong." She grimaced. "Damn you…it's hurting now that I noticed it."

Snake Eyes reached into the top drawer of their nightstand and pulled out a tin of Tiger Balm. *Come here.*

"Oh, thank you." She stretched out on the bed, and Snake gently massaged the salve into the damaged tissue. "Ouch…"

*Sorry.* He leaned down to kiss her temple.

"That's ok…oh, that feels better already." She sighed, and rolled over. "Mmm. Oh, yes, that feels much better. Thank you, my dear."

Snake Eyes set the tin aside and then draped himself over her, effectively pinning her beneath his weight. She smelled like soap and shampoo, and her skin was very soft under his hands.

"Ooh." She made an appreciative little sound as he nuzzled his way down between her breasts. "Mmn…oh, that's nice…"

He nibbled a little circle around her bellybutton, and shifted his weight to move higher once more. His leg twinged, and he winced involuntarily. Shana frowned and sat up. She pushed him, and he let himself be shoved onto his back. Shana moved up to straddle him, glaring at him sternly.

"I did promise Doc that I'd keep you off that leg as much as I could." She said severely. "So if we're going to do this, you're going to be the one counting the ceiling tiles, buster."

*Fine with me.* That was _more_ than acceptable.

She smiled, leaned down, and kissed him. Her breasts pressed against his chest, and he growled, silently, deep in his throat. She pulled back and looked down at him again.

"Little anxious for things to get moving here?" There was a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

*Thought that was pretty obvious.* It _was._ She was _sitting_ on him, so he knew she could feel just how anxious he was for things to 'get moving.' He let his hands move up the curve of her waist, up to her breasts.

She smiled, and _moved, _and then he was inside her. Snake Eyes shuddered and gasped. Shana smiled a bit more widely, and then started to move on him, very slowly.

After about the first ten seconds, any higher functions in his brain had shut down. He braced his feet and started to move with her, but she froze. He looked up at her, brows furrowed.

"Nuh uh." She nipped at his throat. "Mmm…You stay still; I don't want you to tear those stitches."

Oh. Well, he could do that. He lay back and let her ride him, shuddering and gasping.

"Mmm…Oh, Snake…" She kissed him again, and suddenly _nothing_ hurt, and nothing else mattered but her and him and the movements of their bodies.

It was a very long time before she finally collapsed on him, sweaty and panting. Her hair was in his eyes; he blew it out of his face and ran his hands along her waist, the curve of her hips.

"I need another shower now." She murmured.

In response, he rolled her off him to the bed beside him, curled himself around her, and reached down to pull the blankets up over both of them. He curled an arm over her waist and pulled her close, nuzzling his way as far into her personal space as he could.

"Or we could cuddle and fall asleep." She said; he could hear that she was smiling. He nodded vigorously, his cheek rubbing against her hair.

"I'm glad you're not badly hurt." She reached down to lace her fingers with his. "I worry about you when Hawk sends you off on your own."

*Tommy was with me.*

"Yes…but you two work as individuals, most of the time. And I mostly trust him. I know he's ours now. I know he was just trying to get the name of his uncle's killer out of Cobra…but still." She twisted slightly to trace a finger over a long thin scar on his ribs…a scar that Tommy's _ninjato_ had given him. "He almost took you from me more than once."

*He's got more than a few scars from my sword, too.* Snake Eyes pressed his lips against her hair.

"I know…and you're alive and well…mostly well…but still." She sighed. "But I love you…and I'd be devastated if you didn't come back to me one of these times. And you've never come closer to that than when Storm Shadow sliced you up."

He held her more tightly. *Look at it this way…now he's keeping people from slicing me up.*

She laughed a little. "True, I guess."

*I'll always come back to you.* He kissed her again. *I love you.*

She snuggled back against him. "Love you too. Oh, by the way…Ace has a pool running on how long it will be before Sherry jumps Tommy's bones. I've got money on a month at maximum. Lowest bet is within the next two days; I put down two weeks as my low bet."

Snake Eyes groaned. *Bad mental pictures, Shana. Put a hundred down for me on two weeks.*

She brought his hand to her lips and kissed it. "You'll live. High bet?"

*That _is_ my high bet. Tommy's _good_ at getting women in bed. Put me down for a week at low bet.*

"I'll do it first thing tomorrow…Night, Snakes."

*Night, Shana.*

Next chappy will be up soon…I've been feeling inspired the last couple of days, and have been typing like a crazed chimpanzee chugging copious carafes of coffee…hey look! Alliteration!


	12. Chapter 12

Snake Eyes gets to sleep in, Lifeline finds out that it is _really_ hard to find a ninja that does not want to be found, and we find out at least part of how Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes can vanish for hours at a time in the pit apparently at will.

When the alarm went off, Snake Eyes reached over and shut it off, then poked Shana in the ribs as she tried to feign sleep. She swatted at his hand, but he persisted.

"No." Her voice was muffled by the pillow she'd buried her head under. " 's not morning yet."

He sat up and whipped the blankets off of her side of the bed. She extracted herself from her pillow and glared bleary-eyed at him. "I hate you sometimes."

*You can sleep as late as you want, as long as you don't mind BeachHead's punishment PT.* Snake Eyes pointed out.

"Ug. No, I'd rather not end up dead today." Scarlett dragged herself out of bed and to the dresser. Snake Eyes settled himself back against the pillows; he had to admit that it was rather nice to have a morning off after a mission.

Scarlett dragged a sports bra and tank top over her head, tied her running pants, and sat on the edge of the bed to tie her boots. "Aren't you getting up?"

*No. Supposed to stay off my leg, remember?* Snake Eyes smiled and settled himself back under the blankets with exaggerated enjoyment. *Besides, this bed is _really _comfortable…I think that I shall sleep in, today.*

"I hate you so much right now."

*How did you ever make it through basic?*

"Grumpily." But she was smiling a bit. "I've gotten spoiled…I have to have my ninja alarm clock to kick me out of bed in the mornings anymore."

*Happy to be useful.*

She leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. "Go back to sleep. I'll collect you for breakfast after Beach finishes grinding us into the dust."

She headed out the door, yawning hugely. Snake Eyes rolled over and shut his eyes again with a certain amount of enjoyment; generally, he didn't let himself sleep in unless he was on leave. Still, even ninja could enjoy the occasional late morning, especially after being on his feet for almost two straight days. Besides, he did have a doctor's order on his side today.

He woke two hours later when the door opened and Shana dragged herself in, groaning. He opened his eyes and sat up, stretching his shoulders until the joints popped.

*Really bad today?*

"No…I'm just sore from getting thrown around yesterday." Scarlett peeled off her muddy, sweaty tank top and headed for the shower. "How's your leg?"

*Fine.*

"How's your leg?"

*_Fine.*_

"How's your leg?"

Snake Eyes sighed, giving up. *It hurts, but not badly...and I haven't torn out any stitches yet.*

"You haven't gotten out of bed yet." Scarlett vanished into the bathroom. The water turned on. Snake got to his feet; his leg did hurt, but not unbearably. He ran through his morning stretching, then dropped to the floor and started doing pushups. He was on his three hundredth crunch by the time Shana finally emerged from the bathroom, looking considerably happier.

"Whoever invented hot showers deserves a medal of some sort." She rolled her shoulders. "_So _much better."

*Lay down.* Snake Eyes hopped to his feet, purposely suppressing the wince when his weight landed on his left leg, and palmed the tin of Tiger Balm off of the nightstand.

"Oh, god, I love you." Shana said fervently. She stretched out, and Snake Eyes worked his way from her neck to her toes, carefully applying the muscle rub wherever pressure elicited a wince.

"Oh, that feels _fantastic." _Scarlett rolled to her feet when he patted her thigh, signaling that he was done. She pulled on cargo pants and a tank top. "Thank you, ninja masseuse."

*Anytime.* Snake Eyes pulled on BDU pants and a long-sleeved shirt; his bodysuit was uncomfortable over the bandages on his leg. He tugged on his mask, slid on his visor, and laced up his boots. *Shall we?*

"Yes…I could eat a whole damned _cow."_

*I would pay money to see that.*

"Well…" She seemed to consider. "Not _raw,_ I wouldn't." Scarlett smiled. "Barbecue it first and you're on."

When they reached the mess hall, Snake Eyes pushed open the door, held it for her, and then followed her through.

"He wakes." Stalker waved at them from his seat by Dusty and Roadblock. Snake Eyes nodded to them. "How's the leg, man?"

*Fine.* Snake Eyes shrugged. *It wasn't that bad a hit.*

"You'd say that if your leg was missing, but glad you're feeling ok." Stalker grinned. "I was half expecting you to turn up for PT today and get chewed out by BeachHead."

*I decided to be lazy.* Snake smiled under his mask.

"Don't blame you, man. Don't blame you."

Snake Eyes followed Shana to their usual corner table, where she'd already settled with her coffee and food. She was tackling her eggs with obvious enjoyment.

"They put cheese in these things today!" She grinned happily as he sat down. Snake Eyes shook with laughter; Scarlett would eat anything covered with sharp cheddar. Up to and possibly including things not technically classed as food; on the rare occasions that they indulged in fast food, she always took his cheeseburger wrappers, claiming that he "left the good bits." This meant, as far as he could tell, any bits of paper that may have once conceivably touched melted cheese.

"Oh." Scarlett swallowed a mouthful of coffee. "We're questioning Bludd and the Baroness later today."

*You won't get anything out of her.*

"Not with threats, no." Scarlett smiled at him fondly. "There _are_ other ways to interrogate someone than breaking their fingers one by one, you know. For someone like the Baroness, you have to go for their ego. That's her weak spot."

_*_Have fun with that.* Scarlett and Lady Jaye were the experts at that sort of information extraction.

"Oh, I will. I'm looking forwards to this." Scarlett smiled. "Bludd we'll do the standard good cop, bad cop, G.I. Joe edition…you _can_ come by the brig at around three, can't you?"

*With pleasure.*

"Good…I doubt he'll hold out on us very long."

They finished eating. Scarlett stood. "Come on. We're going to see Doc."

Snake Eyes sighed. *I'm fine, Shana.*

"Dressing change once a day; you heard the man. Look at it this way…if you get it over with now, I won't be nagging you the rest of the day. And by the way, did you take your meds this morning?"

He dropped his head into one hand, sighed heavily, and signed with the other. *Yes, mother.*

"Cute. Just making sure; I _know _you, Snake Eyes. Come on."

He reluctantly let himself be dragged along. Scarlett was almost as bad when he was injured as he was when she was hurt. Snake Eyes privately thought that this was karma of some sort.

Doc was reading a medical journal in his office and sipping coffee. He smiled when Scarlett knocked.

"Pleasant surprise. I was halfway expecting to have to organize a manhunt for you today." He followed them to the med center and steered Snake to an examination table.

*Scarlett's been keeping me on a pretty short leash today.* Snake Eyes sat down and rolled his pant leg up.

"Good woman." Doc peeled off the bandages. "Oh, good…you're doing fine."

*Told you.* Snake Eyes shot a look at Scarlett.

"Better safe than sorry." She smiled serenely and patted him on the shoulder.

"She's right. Now that one half of the ninja duo is taken care of…have you seen Storm Shadow today?"

"I saw him at PT." Scarlett shrugged. "And for a minute or two in the mess hall. He just grabbed some food and coffee and ran, though."

"If you see him again, drag him in here. Lifeline's been trying to track him down since BeachHead let you out of PT. The damn ninja is avoiding us like the plague."

Snake Eyes smiled to himself. Tommy liked being fussed over by doctors almost as much as he did.

"We'll capture him and drag him in." Scarlett eyed Snake Eyes. "_Won't_ we?"

*No promises.* Snake Eyes signed. *I'm injured, remember? He could probably defeat me with ease right now.*

Scarlett sighed. "Do they teach classes in ignoring medical advice in ninja school?"

*Yes.*

"You're impossible."

Doc finished applying the fresh bandages, shaking his head. "That trank gun is sounding like a better and better idea. Every time one of you two gets shot, stabbed, blown up or thrown out of a moving train I get just a little bit closer to writing up horse tranquilizers as a necessary medical expense."

*I only got thrown out of a train once, and I didn't get a scratch on myself.* Snake Eyes pointed out.

"You get my point." Doc took off his glasses and polished them on his shirt. "Keep an eye out for Storm…I'll search the whole damned Pit for him if I have to. See you tomorrow."

Scarlett led the way out of the med center. Just outside the door, Snake Eyes paused, tilting his head. He clicked his fingers to get Shana's attention. She turned, eyebrows raised.

*I'm going to go hit they gym and lift weights for awhile, then train in the _dojo_.* He smiled at her immediate frown. *Just basic _kata, _Ipromise. Nothing too strenuous.*

"Okay." Her face smoothed. "I have some intel briefs to go over with Jaye anyways. We also have to gossip about you and Flint."

*Say only good things. Lie if necessary.* He grinned. *Have fun.*

She laughed. "See you later, Snake."

She disappeared around the corner. Snake Eyes checked to make sure that no one else was watching, then braced hands and feet on both side of the narrow hallway and wall-walked up to the large air vent a few yards down the hall from the medical center door.

He and Tommy kept the hinges on the ventilation ducts well oiled. The grating swung open without a sound. Snake Eyes slipped in and shut the grate behind him.

Several yards down the duct, and several smaller duct ways came together and the space broadened. Tommy was sitting lotus in the slightly more open space, his eyes closed. Snake sat back on his heels a few feet away from his sword brother.

Tommy opened his eyes and glanced at Snake. *Is Lifeline still looking for me?*

*Yes. Doc's threatening to start a manhunt if you don't show up by the end of today.*

*Scarlett dragged you in?*

Snake nodded. *You will go in on your own, won't you?*

*I figured that she'd browbeat you into Doc's care before noon. I'll turn myself in later. I'm having fun torturing them.* Tommy smiled. *I hope they do send out search parties…makes things more interesting.*

*Well, we're playing 'nice intel agent, scary ninja' with Bludd later. Interested?*

Tommy's grin went hard. *Oh, very much so. The Baroness?*

*Shana and Jaye are using psychology on her. They don't think that bamboo slivers under the fingernails would work.*

Storm Shadow looked disappointed. *Shame…they're right, though. She's no coward; I have to give her that much.*

*So, how many guards has she tried to seduce so far?* Tommy held up three fingers. Snake Eyes shook his head. *Typical. I'm going to go train. If you decide you'd like to join me, I'll be in the _dojo_."

*I'm going to let Lifeline run around and wear himself out for a bit longer. I'll be along.* Tommy closed his eyes again, falling back into meditation.

Snake Eyes left his sword brother sitting in the air vent. Back at the grating, he looked both ways, slid out, bracing his hands against one wall and his feet against the other, and easily edged his way back to the floor. His stitches pulled a bit, but not unbearably.

He smiled to himself. When the Pit had been constructed, the air ducts installed for ventilation had been the sort that could be crawled into by a cleaning team if needed. For ninja, the ventilation system was as good as a private expressway around the base. The ductwork also worked beautifully if one wanted to simply vanish for an hour or three.

_Ah, my thanks, Foley Industrial Contracting. _Snake Eyes wondered briefly what the government contracting company would think if they received a letter of accolade for the ease of maneuverability that their construction allowed. _Nah; they'd think it was a joke._

Next chapter we will see how the classic "good cop, bad cop" routine has been adapted for Pit use. There will be plane stunts as Ace and Slip-Stream follow Sherry up on her first solo flight in a Ghoststriker and, because fighter pilots are in fact crazy, all three of them will show off for each other. Other things will also happen.


	13. Chapter 13

I torture Storm Shadow a bit in this one…Sorry, Tommy. Also, pissed off ninjas are not something you want to be interrogated by.

_Kutabare _is Japanese for "Fuck you." _Gokiburokka rokudenashi _is, (If my admittedly rather rusty Japanese skills are right) "Cockblocking asshole."

Ah, the advantages of having military relatives…you learn to curse in so many interesting ways…

They gym was busy, as usual. Snake Eyes waited his turn for the weight bench. He smiled a little to himself as the fairly new recruit who'd been grunting away on the piece of equipment hastily vacated the area in favor of the ninja.

"Hi, Snake." BeachHead finished a set on the leg press and stood. "You need a spotter?"

Snake Eyes nodded. *Thank you.*

The drill sergeant grunted. "Not a problem."

The pull of muscle and tendons against bone felt good. Snake Eyes worked his way through his usual rotation. He was not oblivious to the close eye that BeachHead was keeping on him, and finally he turned to face the ranger and stare him down.

*I've climbed moving vehicles with a broken arm.* Snake Eyes frowned. *I think that I will be fine on some exercise equipment with a clipped leg.*

"Doc told me to make sure you didn't do anything stupid." BeachHead reached for his water. "Gotta let yourself heal up or you'll tear all hell out of that leg."

*I'm _fine_.* Snake Eyes scowled; this was getting old fast. *After I got hit, I shot ten men, dodged tank fire, climbed a building, took out half of a thirty-man, heavily armed RPG crew hand-to-had in less than thirty seconds, climbed back _down_ the building, ran a mile, subdued a captive, and carried said captive back to Hawk. I did this _before_ Doc patched me up.*

"Just following orders." BeachHead scowled right back at him. "Damn touchy ninjas…" He trailed off, muttering to himself, but he left Snake Eyes alone for the rest of the ninja's workout, and he didn't try to follow when Snake Eyes left the gym and headed next door to the _dojo. _

He stretched out again, pleased that his range of motion was not severely hampered by his stitches. He started with the simpler, basic _kata_, working his way up to the more dynamic, complex advanced forms. His leg was cooperating so far, and he figured that it would let him know if he pushed too hard.

Twenty minutes later, Snake Eyes suddenly straightened. His hand shot up, and he caught the rubber training knife just before it hit him in the temple. He turned to nod a greeting to Tommy.

"I thought for a second that I had you." Tommy grinned.

Snake Eyes spun the rubber training blade and whipped it back at his sword brother. Tommy caught it an inch away from his forehead. *Dream on, brother.*

Judging from the fresh bandages on Tommy's arm, his sword brother had finally deigned to pay the frustrated medics a visit. Storm Shadow warmed up and stretched out, and the two of them spent the remaining time before hand to hand critiquing each other's _kata. _

When Scarlett showed up, she gave Snake Eyes a teasing look. "Doc said no sparring. Can you teach while withstanding the temptation?"

*I'll try.*

"Anyone who gets frustrated can step onto the mats with me." Tommy said. "Snake can give tips to anyone who thinks that they can kick my ass…for all the good it will do them."

"What if _I_ decide to mop the floor with you?" Shana grinned.

"You wouldn't hit an injured man, would you?" Tommy looked plaintively at her, gesturing at his bandaged arm. "You wouldn't hit Snake right now."

"I like him better than you. I'd feel bad if I kicked _him_ in the groin."

*Thank god.* Snake signed fervently.

"You have a violent girlfriend, brother."

*I know.* Snake sighed. *My shins have gone permanently numb.*

"Ow."

*Tell me about it.*

Shana leveled a finger at them. "I'll kick you both in the junk if you keep it up."

It was just about then that the advanced class started showing up. Conversation was abandoned in favor of grappling and knife defenses.

When the advanced class let out, the beginner's class was already lining up outside. They bowed in and moved directly into evasion techniques.

Snake Eyes watched the greenshirts keenly. Burner, the SEAL, was almost ready to be moved to the advanced class. The others weren't quite catching on so fast.

Banger was getting a little better. She only got tossed head over heels eighteen times instead of twenty. She seemed to be quite proud of this fact.

When they let class out, the pilot hung back. Snake Eyes would have liked to observe the interaction between the little woman and his sword brother, but Scarlett firmly steered him out of the room

"You're looking at fifteen hundred bucks if your low bet is right." She said when he looked down at her, eyebrow raised quizzically under his mask. He still wasn't sure how she _knew_ exactly what his facial expression was under his mask and visor, but she never failed. "Besides, how would you like Tommy hanging around if we were trying to flirt?"

*Point taken.*

"Oh…was he going to come along and help us with Bludd? Because if he was, we should get the two of them apart and get going."

*He did want to. I'll get him and then go and grab a dozen or so knives. You go get the good major ready to go.*

"Sounds good... make sure to bring that one with the curvy blade and the notches on the handle. People think that one is particularly intimidating, especially when you spin it over your knuckles. Jaye should already be waiting for us."

She trotted off. Snake Eyes turned back to the _dojo._ He pushed the door open and whistled sharply. Tommy and Banger both looked around; the pilot was on tiptoe, her hands planted on Tommy's chest, and Tommy's hands were on her shoulders.

Tommy glared at his sword brother, and signed furiously behind the pilot's head. *Out. Now.*

Snake Eyes ignored him. *If you want to go make a grown man wet himself, now's the time.*

*Kinda busy here.*

"You have to go?" Banger smiled up at Storm Shadow. " 's okay. See you later, after my flight time."

She bounded out of the room, pausing to bow herself out like she'd been taught. Tommy gave Snake Eyes a look that should have burned a laser hole right through the commando. "You are dead, brother. _Dead._ And I will make it _hurt._"

*Sorry, but Jaye and Scarlett are expecting us.*

"Evisceration. _Slow_ evisceration."

*Take it out on Bludd.* Snake Eyes signed calmly. *You're not off duty until we're done with the interrogation anyways.*

"She was _all over me!"_

Snake headed for his room and his weaponry, ignoring the frustrated, snarling Storm Shadow that trailed along behind him. Still muttering to himself, Tommy vanished into his room. Snake carefully selected several of his wickedest trench knives, settled them in easily seen places on his person, and headed for the brig.

Bludd was alone in the interrogation room. In the observation room Jaye and Scarlett were standing with Tommy, who still had a murderous expression on his face.

"Right." Scarlett smiled. "Jaye will go in first. I'll go next. Snake will go third, and if he still hasn't talked we'll give him ten minutes alone with Storm Shadow…he looks like he's about ready to kill someone anyways."

"I hate you both." Tommy glowered them. "_Kutabare, _Snake Eyes. _Gokiburokka rokudenashi."_

"What?" Scarlett raised an eyebrow."

*You don't want to know.* Snake Eyes signed empathetically. *Trust me.*

"Right. I'm going in." Jaye let herself into the interrogation room.

Ten minutes later and she was back, shaking her head. "I told him that I was the nicest one he'd see, and that if he'd just give us a little information we'd do our best to lighten his sentence. He told me to go screw some broken glass. And I quote him on that."

"Ouch." Scarlett cracked her knuckles. "My turn."

Fifteen minutes crept by, with Scarlett leaning menacingly over the table and talking in low tones. Bludd spit at her. Scarlett shrugged, smiled nastily, and walked out.

"All yours, my dear. I told him what information we wanted, and told him that whatever happened to him next he could call off by talking."

*Got it.* Snake Eyes stalked in.

Bludd went pale when he saw the ninja. "Oh, hell.."

Snake Eyes paced slowly around the table to stand behind Bludd, and clamped a hand down on the mercenary's shoulder, digging just a _bit_ into the nerve cluster there. Bludd winced.

"I was forced into it!" Bludd tried.

Snake Eyes tightened his grip. Bludd's eyes started tearing up. "Christ…you've a helluva grip on you…the Commander hired me! I was just doing a job!"

Snake Eyes slowly, slowly slid a knife out of his boot, rasping the blade against the sheath to make a low, menacing metallic hiss. Bludd gulped. "Destro said something about a backup plan, but I didn't hear everything. I swear. I don't know anything! Ask the Baroness; she's closer to the bosses than I am!"

Snake Eyes smiled, released his grip, and slid the knife away. Then he pulled out a pen and a notepad. He wrote for a second, then tore off the sheet and slammed it down in front of the mercenary. He grabbed the major by the back of the neck and tilted Bludd's face down towards the note. The man read, nervously, and then started shaking. "No…"

Snake Eyes, still smiling to himself, crooked a finger at the two-way mirror. Tommy stormed in a moment later, and Bludd actually sank down in his chair.

Tommy had a savage gleam in his eyes. He seized Bludd by the front of the shirt and dragged him halfway across the table. A _tanto_ appeared in his free hand.

"I am not in a good mood." The white clad ninja informed Bludd coldly. "Killing someone sounds like a _good_ idea right now. Unfortunately, if I murder my teammates, I get reprimanded. Fortunately," Tommy smiled suddenly, and it was not at all a nice smile. "You're here."

"You're bluffing. You wouldn't actually hurt a prisoner." Bludd spoke with admirable bravado. "Your government doesn't allow torture."

Snake Eyes grabbed a chair, spun it, and jammed it under the door handle. Storm Shadow didn't stop smiling. "True. But, then I'm not American, am I? Besides…ninja. I'm too valuable for them to do anything serious to. I'm going to start with your ears. Then your fingernails, then your toenails…this is going to take awhile. I'll pretend that you're Zartan…it will be good practice. My sword brother will make sure that we're not…interrupted."

Twenty seven seconds later, and Bludd was talking so fast that Jaye and Scarlett could barely keep up with him as they scribbled. Tommy was looking on with grim satisfaction as he and Snake Eyes stood in the observation area.

"I do feel a little better." Tommy was smiling grimly and watching the still-shaking man spill his secrets to the two intel agents. "I'm still going to maim you."

*Hold out a week. I've got a hundred bucks riding on it.*

"Screw you. It's been a _long_ time, brother."

*Meaning, for you, four months.*

"Bite me." Tommy glared at him. "You've got a gorgeous redhead who, for some reason, is completely crazy about you…gods only know why. You haven't been hurting in the romance department for _years. _You probably don't even _remember_ what frustration feels like."

Snake Eyes smirked a little at that, but didn't answer.

Sorry, Tommy! I'll make it up to you later…the next chapter, I swear, will have crazed adrenaline junkies in really fast planes.


	14. Chapter 14

Note; fighter pilots are completely mad human beings. I've met several, and all hold to this observation.

At five, Snake Eyes and Scarlett wandered out to the runway. Both of them liked watching plane stunts, even if some of the more inventive maneuvers that the fighter pilots pulled weren't exactly what either Scarlett or Snake Eyes would call 'sane'.

Snake Eyes watched a trio of Ghoststrikers scream overhead, low enough to stir the grass. He shook his head.

Snake Eyes, like all of the Joes, was qualified for operation of Tomahawk helicopters, Sky Striker jets, and the other assorted flying machines that the Joe team relied on. He wasn't, however, nearly as good at flying as Ace, Slip-Stream, or Wild Bill. He knew this, and he was fine with it. Infiltration, espionage, assassination, close combat, commando operations…these were his areas of expertise. He much preferred riding in planes than flying them. Still, he admired watching a master work, and Ace and Slipstream were as much masters in the cockpit of a fighter jet as Snake was with a _ninjato._

"Hey!" Wild Bill waved to them and jogged over. "How're you doing, Snake?"

*Fine.*

"Figured." Wild Bill grinned. "Take more'n a bullet or five to take you out. Tough bastard."

Snake Eyes smiled. "Ninja…resistance to firearms comes with the training."

"Y'know, I really can see you training to deflect bullets with your sword or something."

*Arrows, yes. Darts, yes. Knives, yes. Bullets?* Snake Eyes shook his head. *I wish. We do train to ignore pain, though. If you ever have to shoot a ninja, kill him with your first shot. You won't get a second one.*

Wild Bill winced. "I can believe that…I'll keep the advice in mind." The chopper plot glanced up. "Anyways, the new kid's doin' alright. She's got some learning to do, but she's a quick study."

Above them, the three Ghoststrikers were flying in a tight arrowhead formation. They banked right, dropped a few hundred feet, angled back up, turned a long slow curve to the left, and then rose higher, all without breaking formation.

"Good pilot." Wild Bill was nodding in approval. "Solid basics. Ace 'n Slip'll show her how to really make one of those birds dance."

The two trailing fighters suddenly switched places, one dropping low and one rising before slipping across the third fighter, above and below, and settling back into formation.

Snake Eyes caught a flash of white out of the corner of his eye, and turned to nod to Tommy. His sword brother sauntered up.

"I'm in a better mood. I killed a dozen cutting targets, and I may just let you live." He said to Snake by way of greeting.

*I'm relieved.*

Wild Bill raised his eyebrows. Scarlett shook her head. "Don't ask."

"Right." The pilot went back to watching the planes above.

"Which one is she in?" Tommy's eyes were also on the sky.

"She's got point in the formation." Wild Bill squinted. "The one that just started doing barrel rolls."

When the three pilots made their next pass directly overhead, all three planes abruptly flipped over, flying upside-down for a few seconds, then rolling wing over wing twice each before straightening out.

"They make that look so damn easy." Scarlett sighed.

"Yeah, and you three make feedin' a man his own feet look easy." Wild Bill grinned as Scarlett laughed.

"True…to each his or her own, I suppose." She smiled.

"I wish that we had some of the C.L.A.W rocket gliders like I used to use in Cobra." Storm Shadow sounded almost wistful. "Only vehicle that I ever enjoyed flying."

*Steal one.* Snake Eyes suggested.

"I tried that. It was confiscated so that the military engineers could pick it apart."

"Those things are fun." Scarlett grinned in memory. "I flew one out of Destro's castle the first time you kidnapped me. Remember? When you threw your sword at Snake?"

"Yeah." Tommy rubbed a knuckle. "I still have a scar where you bit me, you know."

"Shouldn't have called me a 'delicate flower'." Scarlett said easily.

"Would you have preferred it if I'd called you a cow?"

"I prefer not to get hit on by my captors." Scarlett bared her teeth in a wicked smile. "You got off easy…when Tomax tried the same thing with me, I kicked him so hard in the balls that Xamot is probably still sore."

"You have a _violent _girlfriend, brother." Tommy winced. "How did you ever manage to pick her up without getting castrated?"

*Carefully.* Snake Eyes grinned.

"Actually, it was your ass." Scarlett nudged her way under his arm; he wrapped it around her shoulders. "Jaye and Covergirl will back me on this…you've got the best ass in the Pit, Snake."

"I did not want to hear that." Storm Shadow grimaced as Snake Eyes shook with laughter.

They all flattened themselves to the asphalt abruptly, and Wild Bill grabbed for his hat. One of the jets screamed just overhead.

"Ace." Wild Bill placidly brushed himself off.  
Tommy hadn't peeled himself off of the tarmac yet. Snake Eyes tackled the Texan back down as a second fighter nearly scraped the paint off of its belly.

"And Slip-Stream." Wild Bill picked himself up again. "Those two love showing off."

"At least Sherry isn't trying to kill us." Storm bounced back to his feet.

"She'll learn." Wild Bill said amiably. "By the way…I've got fifty on three weeks, and remember, I'm your ride home half the time.:

"Why are people betting on my sex life?" Tommy glared at all three of them.

"To get back at you for trashing so much of our hardware and generally being a pain in our collective asses for years." Wild Bill shook his head. "The things I saw you do to innocent Tomahawks…downright wrong."

Storm Shadow scowled, but didn't answer. They watched the aerial acrobatics for the remainder of the hour; Banger, while not as adventurous as the more experienced Joe pilots, was still quite obviously very good at what she did.

When the fighters finally came in for a landing, Ace was the first to emerge from his cockpit. He pulled off his flight helmet with a grin on his face.

"Good." He gave the short woman a thumbs-up as she hopped to the ground and peeled off her own facemask. "Good job. Once we get you over your fear of damaging government property, you'll be even better."

"Remember," Slip-Stream chipped in. "One of the advantages of a blank check from Uncle Sam…it doesn't matter if you scratch the hardware up a little."

"Let Duke hear you say that." Tommy said dryly.

"I would really rather not." Slip-Stream grimaced. "Not a fan of dressing-downs. Anyways, good job, Shorty. Same time tomorrow."

Stunts finished with, Snake Eyes started back for the Pit and Roadblock's meatloaf, closely followed by Scarlett. He could still hear Banger chattering excitedly as she finished filling out her flight log and she and Tommy trailed after the other Joes.

She was still waxing poetic about the many virtues of the Ghoststriker X-16 as they moved through the mess hall line.

"…and the controls! Smooth as _butter!_" A happy sigh. "God, they almost react to your thoughts rather than your hands. The turning radius is just _fantastic…"_

Scarlett elbowed Snake Eyes in the ribs and nodded at Tommy. Snake glanced at his sword bother; Storm Shadow's eyes were slightly glazed, and he was nodding at apparently random intervals. Banger seemed not to notice.

"He looks like you when my niece and sister start telling you all about high school." Scarlett smiled.

*Actually, that's pretty standard male procedure when a woman won't shut up.* Snake didn't try to avoid her kick; he tended to figure that getting kicked in the shins on a regular basis was good iron body training. *What? I don't do it to _you.*_

_ "_You'd better not." She scowled at him, and then suddenly smiled. "Actually, no you don't. You always answer the bait questions correctly."

He glared at her. *I knew it. I knew you just throw those in to make sure I'm paying attention.*

She mock-scowled as they sat down. "Damn…I've revealed ancient secrets of estrogen-fu. I will now have to kill you, I'm afraid."

*I am terrified.*

"You should be…I know where you sleep."

He shook with laughter and turned his attention to his meatloaf.


	15. Chapter 15

In which we see that Scarlett has a black belt in ninja-wrangling, Storm Shadow reflects on old and new mental scarring, we learn the one thing that Tommy fears, and Snake Eyes and his sword brother get to have a nice chat.

Also now edited to fix a minor typo that I noticed after reading through the chappy after posting...Sorry, but I'm tired and bleary-eyed right now. :(

* * *

The next morning Snake Eyes woke feeling good. His leg didn't hurt at all (well, barely), and he was feeling well-rested and energetic.

He hopped out of bed when the alarm went off and whipped the covers off of Scarlett with a flourish. After her usual groaning and complaining as she dressed, he followed her out to PT.

BeachHead scowled when he saw the ninja. "Doc said to keep you off the course for a few days."

*I'll just do the warm-ups* Snake signed. *Don't need my leg for those.*

Scarlett sighed in resignation. "If you pull out those stitches, Doc'll burst a blood vessel. Just a reminder."

*I'll be fine. Doesn't even hurt today.*

BeachHead hesitated, clearly torn between Doc's instructions and the fact that he knew exactly how the ninja felt. He'd have been doing exactly the same thing in Snake's place, and they both knew it. "Okay, but it's on you if Doc has a fit." He said at last.

*Acceptable.* Snake Eyes started stretching out.

Tommy bounded up just then with his usual energy. Thomas Arashikage could go from a dead sleep to fully awake and cheerful in under five seconds, at any time of the day or night and seemingly with any amount of sleep. Or, to fully awake and strangling the life out of an attacker before his eyes were even open; Snake Eyes had seen the latter more than once.

Storm Shadow eyed Snake Eyes and then grinned. "Hundred bucks says that you can't get through the whole course before BeachHead catches you."

"No bet." Scarlett glared as Snake Eyes considered.

*Agreed. He wouldn't catch me.* Snake Eyes carefully didn't flinch as Scarlett dug an elbow into his ribs.

"Cocky ninja." She scowled.

"He ain't doing anything but the warm-ups." Beach's low rumble sounded behind them. "Or I'll make you run laps around the compound until you're _sick_ after Doc gives the OK, spook." He leveled a threatening finger at Snake.

Snake Eyes sighed but gave the drill sergeant the thumbs up. BeachHead turned to watch for the rest of the team, glancing at his watch occasionally.

"I don't think that he realizes just how many laps that would be." Tommy said thoughtfully.

*Doesn't matter how many it would take.* Snake Eyes pointed out. *He'd keep me running for a solid week if that's what it took.*

Tommy nodded slowly. "True. Actually, I _can_ see him and Slaughter trading off, making sure that you kept it up, yelling when you started to slack…they'd enjoy that, actually."

"Who drills the vipers?" Scarlett asked suddenly, straightening up from a hamstring stretch. "Didn't you used to do that?"

Storm Shadow shook his head. "No. I trained them in advanced hand to hand…though I did occasionally run an advanced obstacle course. He's got more than a few ex-soviet military men who run viper PT, and the Dreadnoks."

"Who runs their hand to hand now?" Scarlett sounded curious.

"Zartan." Storm Shadow scowled at the name. "The Dreadnoks, too. They've always done most of the training. I just got the rare soldiers who were adept enough for anything more complex than brawling."

Snake Eyes snorted. *Your teaching didn't help them much.*

"Yeah, well, the commander doesn't attract many people with an IQ higher than that of a stick of celery." Tommy shrugged. "Destro's the only one with any brains. If the commander actually listened to him occasionally, I might actually lose some sleep over the future of the free world."

"Is it true that Destro and the Baroness are…" Ripcord, who had just jogged up and had been listening, hesitated. "you know…doing the horizontal tango?"

Scarlett made a face. "Ick."

Snake Eyes agreed with her. That was not a particularly pleasant mental image.

Tommy shuddered. "Unfortunately, yes."

Ripcord shook his head, looking skeptical. "You're pulling my leg. She might be a crazy evil bitch, but she's _smoking_ hot. No way that she'd settle for a dude who wears a bad Halloween mask all the time." He glanced quickly at Snake Eyes. "No offense, man. Please don't murder me."

*None taken.*

Tommy raised an eyebrow at Rip. "Trust me. I've had to stand guard duty before when the two of them were in her HISS tank 'going over tactics.'" He winced at the memory. Ripcord made a vaguely disgusted noise.

*I'm sorry.* Snake Eyes meant it. Considering his sword brother's hearing, that _couldn't_ have been fun.

Tommy glanced at Snake and then turned to hide his hands from Beach, should the Master Sergeant look their way. *You should be.* He signed. *I'm right across the hallway from you and Red, now.* He grimaced. *I can hear through two rather thin walls, you know. And you two aren't particularly quiet.*

Scarlett went red all the way to her ears. "Oh."

Ripcord was sniggering. Snake Eyes glared the Halo jumper, who quickly stifled his laugher, looking vaguely alarmed. He shifted his glare to his sword brother. *I will hurt you for that. You really didn't need to share that information.*

"Ah, but torturing you two amuses me." Tommy grinned suddenly. "Besides, dodging your wrath keeps me from going soft and sloppy."

Beach's voice snapped out then, and they automatically fell into formation. Snake Eyes tore through the warm ups with ease, and then reluctantly moved off to the sidelines at BeachHead's threatening glare.

After PT, Snake Eyes was not surprised when Scarlett approached him with a determined sort of look in her eyes. She took him by the elbow. "Bandage time, big guy." She glanced at Tommy, whom was looking rather smug about the fact that his clothes were still mud-free. BeachHead was glaring at the ninja, but Tommy had been very careful not to give the drill sergeant any reason to keep him back. "You come too. You're going to go see Lifeline every day after PT for as long as Doc says you have to."

"Make me."

Scarlett batted her eyelashes at him. "Oh, I _will."_

"How?" Tommy raised an eyebrow skeptically.

Scarlett grinned evilly. "I'm intel, ninja man. You think that I couldn't get the names and contact information of a half-dozen or so of your ex-girlfriends? I'm sure that our new pilot would just _love _the juicy details of your long and colorful romantic history."

Snake Eyes watched his sword brother's face move rapidly through disbelief, shock, horror, and finally settle on guarded apprehension. "You wouldn't."

"I would." Scarlett smiled sweetly. "Just try me."

"Fine." Tommy fell meekly in behind them. "You are a cruel woman."

Scarlett hadn't stopped smiling. "I prefer 'devious.'"

Snake Eyes was shaking with laughter. *If you like, Shana, I could provide the names and particulars of a few ninja clans whose women he was involved with. Doesn't the master of the Iga family still have a price on your head for jilting his daughter, Tommy? A pretty nice one, if I recall. Enough for you and I to retire comfortably on, Shana.*

Storm Shadow glared. "I hate you."

*I told you that I'd hurt you.* Snake Eyes smiled. *Watching Akemi Iga do it might be even better. Didn't she swear to castrate you with a pair of chopsticks should she ever have you at her mercy?*

Tommy winced and hunched his shoulders. "Yeah, she did." He shuddered. "She would, too. I'll be good." A scowl. "This is cheating, though."

"All's fair in love and war." Scarlett said airily.

Lifeline was in the med center. At the sight of both ninja, his eyebrows hit his hairline, and he almost dropped the medical journal he was reading.

"I'm being bullied." Tommy said darkly. "Trust me, I had every intention of vanishing on you."

The medic grinned. "Thanks, Scarlett. What did you do to them, anyways?"

"I've spent years training Snake Eyes." She grinned. "And for Tommy, you just need the right leverage."

Snake Eyes raised an eyebrow at her. She laughed. "Kidding…I still don't really have you trained very well."

*Good.* He nodded in satisfaction.

She patted him on the shoulder. "Well, while Lifeline is taking care of you two, I'm going to go shower." She glanced at the medic. "If Tommy gives you problems, just let me know, and I'll take care of him. Akemi, was it?" She glanced at Snake Eyes for confirmation. He nodded.

Tommy sat down on the table quickly and held out his arm. "I'm being good. No need for that."

Lifeline's jaw dropped. Scarlett grinned smugly. "Like I said, you just need the proper leverage. I've learned that about ninja over the years. See you in a few, Snake."She trotted off, humming happily to herself.

Lifeline looked from Storm Shadow to Snake Eyes and back again. "What…"

"Nothing." Tommy glared at Snake Eyes. "_Right?_ You know, I'd really _hate_ to have to go and poison your stash of Dragon Mountain, brother…It would be a waste of good tea."

*I wasn't saying anything.* Snake Eyes folded his arms.

"Damn right you weren't." Tommy growled. Lifeline, clearly giving up, sighed and peeled the bandages off of the ninja's arm.

After Snake's leg had been attended to-Lifeline assured Snake Eyes that he was healing perfectly-the two ninja headed for their rooms and showers. Tommy was still glowering.

They were about halfway between the med center and their quarters when Tommy abruptly spoke. "When are you and Red tying the knot, anyways?"

Snake went still, caught off guard by the question. He didn't move for a long moment, but finally moved his hands. *We haven't set a date…but she wants to do it in the fall. Probably not this year, though. Why?* He looked curiously at his sword brother. *You two don't like each other very much.*

Tommy shrugged, his face dead serious. "I tease you two, but, well…I don't _dislike_ her. You know, you're way less uptight now than you were in the old days. You smile now. You laugh. You can take a joke…you even joke with your teammates. You would _never_ have done that when we were in the jungle. Or even when you were training with my family."

Snake Eyes considered that. It was true; he wouldn't have. He shrugged.

"She's mellowed you out." Tommy smiled a little, and the smile went sly. "As bossy, annoying, and downright diabolical as she can be, she's been good for you, brother. And, for some reason, she adores you. I still can't figure that out."

*Ha, ha.*

"Sorry to pry." Tommy started walking again. "I just started wondering when she joked about having you trained. I wanted you to know that you'd better not elope and not tell me…I'd murder you if you didn't invite me."

*I'll keep that in mind.* But Snake Eyes was smiling. *Thank you, Tommy.*

"You're my brother." Storm Shadow shrugged. "You're as much an Arashikage as I am. Besides, Hawk's more than a little sure that Red's the only thing that keeps you sane. If you lost it, I'd end up having to hunt you down, and I've already had enough of your bullets, knives, and _shuriken _dug out of my body."

*I fail to feel sorry for you.* Snake Eyes snorted. *You know, last time we tangled, I had to get three hundred and eleven stitches.*

"Damn. I was thinking at least five hundred." Tommy sighed. "I'm slipping."

They argued cheerfully all the way back to their rooms.


	16. Chapter 16

In which Snake Eyes reflects on the fact that women really know how to manipulate men, ninja awesomeness occurs, and Banger tries to understand the long and interesting historybetween Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow.

* * *

Two days later, and Doc had given up on trying to coax Scarlett into sharing the information she'd used to render Storm Shadow a model patient. Shana had, as far as Snake Eyes could tell, been wearing the same smug smile for roughly forty straight hours now.

Snake Eyes didn't fight Shana's insistence that he turn himself into the infirmary every morning after PT. He knew that failing to do so was a _bad _idea. When Scarlett really set her mind on something, he'd long since learned the hard way that fighting her led to him buying a _lot _of cherry cordials and offering at least a few purely platonic-just-because-I-love-you backrubs before his romantic life had a chance in hell of warming above the temperature of liquid nitrogen.

He remembered once, very long ago, when he and Terry had been all of about seven. Their father had taken them along birthday shopping for their mother. His father had bought a small bottle of some high-end perfume that Snake Eyes couldn't even begin to remember the name of.

He remembered the price, though. Eighty dollars, which to a seven year old child was all of the money in the whole _world._ Terry had loved the tiny, cut-crystal bottle, but Snake Eyes hadn't understood why someone relatively sensible would pay so much for something so small. Sure, it smelled nice, but so what?  
He'd said as much, and their father had smiled. "Because it makes your mother happy, sport."

Well, that had been a pretty good reason, and had satisfied him. Terry, being curious, had tilted her head and asked, "And what happens if Mom isn't happy?"

Snake Eyes could still see the rueful grin as their father ruffled Terry's hair. "Then I'm not allowed to be either."

Many years later, Snake Eyes understood this perfectly, and sympathized. He realized, as Scarlett dragged him into the infirmary yet again, that he really _was_ whipped. He sighed, and gave a mental shrug. _Ah, well. _It was a small price to pay for her presence in his life, after all.

After bandage changes and breakfast, and Snake Eyes wasn't thinking about his personal life any longer. He slid back, leaning slightly to one side, and Tommy's wooden _bokken_ missed his ear by a bare inch.

Snake Eyes stepped, and came up with an angled, lighting-fast slash at Storm Shadow's left inner thigh. Tommy's second practice sword cracked down in a parry, and Storm was extending arm and shoulder in a powerful, fluid stab. Snake Eyes quick-stepped back, sucking in his stomach, and the tip of Tommy's weapon _just_ missed.

They were on the roof, taking full advantage of the gorgeous early summer weather. Also, Snake Eyes hadn't technically been cleared by Doc for sparring, and the medic was working out down in the gym. He'd have heard the distinctive sounds of the two ninja brushing up on their sword skills next door in the _dojo_.

Spirit, Dusty, Roadblock, three of the previous batch of greenshirts, Covergirl, BeachHead, Short Fuze, and Slip-Stream were watching with interest from the sidelines. Dusty had even dragged out some ancient, battered lawn chairs from God only knew where.

Snake Eyes feinted in, flicking his sword in little biting attacks at Tommy's head and shoulders to draw his sword brother's guard up. Then he stepped in, dropped down under a backhanded slash from Tommy's right-hand blade, pivoted on the ball of one foot, and went for Tommy's hamstrings.

Tommy did the only thing he could, dropping both weapons and turning a back handspring, just barely avoiding the strike. Snake Eyes followed him, going in hard and fast. If Storm Shadow managed to get his hands back on his weapons, this was going to last a _lot_ longer.

For a second, he thought that he had him…but then Tommy hit the floor, narrowly avoiding a kidney strike, and took Snake off of his feet with a really beautiful leg sweep. As Snake hit the ground, Tommy kicked, managing to send Snake's _bokken_ skittering across the rooftop.

There was a moment of furious ground fighting as they scrambled for their weapons and tried desperately to keep each other from getting their hands on the fallen swords. Snake Eyes got a foot in his face and an elbow in his floating ribs, which _really _smarted. He paid Storm Shadow back by planting a foot in Tommy's gut and sending him sprawling with a thrust kick.

Snake Eyes snatched up his sword and rolled to his feet. Tommy, one _bokken_ back in his hands, bounced upright again a few feet away. They closed again. Forty seconds later, and Tommy had managed to recover his second weapon. The two ninja were circling each other cautiously,

A couple more Joes, drawn by the distinctive wood-on-wood clatter of a spirited ninja battle, drifted up to watch. Snake Eyes caught a flash of red hair from the corner of his eye and smiled. He'd never admit it to anyone, but he did like showing off a little around Scarlett now and again.

It was another ten minutes before Snake Eyes' still painful leg proved to be the deciding factor in the (as always) very close match. It slowed Snake a little; not much, but enough for Tommy to finally get in a rapid one-two combo. Dropping low, he raked his right blade, held in a reverse grip, across Snake's legs as his left sword pushed Snake Eyes' _bokken_ up and out. Tommy deftly shifted his grip as soon as the first cut was in and thrust, the shift in direction so fast and fluid that it was damn near invisible. His _bokken's_ tip caught Snake Eyes right in the kidneys.

"And you are _dead, _brother." Tommy's grin was pure exhilaration. Snake Eyes knew that he had the exact same look on his own face.

He took one hand off of his sword's hilt to sign cheerfully. *Not quite.*

"Fine…You're down screaming in pain and _will_ be dead in fifteen to twenty seconds." Tommy corrected himself.

*That's better.* Snake Eyes nodded in satisfaction. They broke apart and bowed formally to each other. Both of them were sweating; they'd been going at it hard for the last twenty minutes, and had been drilling before that.

"I'd yell at you." Doc's resigned voice cut in from the back of the audience, and Snake Eyes glanced around guiltily. "But judging by how well you were moving, it really isn't bothering you. You didn't pull your stitches out, did you?"  
*I didn't feel any go.* Snake Eyes shook his head.

"Good. As long as you're not bleeding, you're fine." Doc sighed and made his way back towards the stairwell. "Though to be fair, you'd claim to be fine if you _were_ bleeding."

"I should stab you every few weeks." Tommy mused. "It's kind of nice to beat you that easily."

Snake Eyes snorted. *You're welcome to try.*

"No stabbing Snake Eyes." Scarlett elbowed her way through the slowly dispersing crowd. "I prefer him kept in one piece, thank you."

Tommy raised an eyebrow. "I've been trying to stick sharp pointy things into Snake Eyes for longer than you've known him, Red."

*I have the scars to prove it.* Snake Eyes nodded. *Of course, he's got some pretty impressive ones from me sticking him with sharp things, too.*

Scarlett sighed. "You are the only two men I know who bond by comparing the scars you gave each other while trying very hard to kill one another."

"They do _what?"_ That was Banger; Snake Eyes hadn't seen her in their audience, but then she was easy to lose in a crowd.

"You heard me right." Scarlett said dryly.

The little pilot gave the two ninja a wary look. Tommy smiled and shrugged nonchalantly. "I still hold that I gave better than I took, but Snake claims that this one…" Storm turned and pulled up his shirt to reveal a back crisscrossed by old scars. The ninja gestured to one that started just below his right shoulder and disappeared into the waistband of his pants just above his left hip. "…more than makes up for the three on his arms."

*It does.* Snake signed flatly. *How long were the Commander's surgeons stitching you up after that one?*

"Six hours." Tommy tugged his shirt back down.

*The ones on my arms only took a total of one and a half hours and one hundred twenty three stitches to fix up. _More_ than makes up the difference.* Snake folded his arms and glared at his sword brother, daring Storm Shadow to contradict him.

Scarlett was pinching the bridge of her nose and shaking her head. Banger looked from Tommy to Snake and back again. "Um…I only caught about half of that." She shot Snake Eyes an apologetic sort of look. "Sorry…I'm not very good at sign yet."

Tommy translated, and the pilot's eyebrows tried very hard to reach her hairline. "You're both mad." She sounded almost awed.

"Yes, they are." Scarlett sighed. "And completely unapologetic about that fact. You learn to put up with it."

Banger was still blinking at the ninja. "Wait…I just want to make sure I've got things straight. You two met years ago in the jungle, right? And you," she pointed at Tommy, "saved your life." She pointed at Snake. Snake Eyes nodded affirmation.

"Ok. That's easy enough. But then you," the finger moved back to point at Tommy, "invited you to train with his family. Who, of course, just happened to be _freaking ninja masters."_

"Well, not _all_ of them." Tommy shrugged. "Just my uncles were the masters. My mother, father, uncle, aunts, several of my cousins, and myself were just field agents."

"Whatever. I'm still getting used to the idea that ninja actually exist, so give me a break on their social structure. Anyways, then you both saw your master killed, and you," another gesture at Snake, "thought that you did it. Then you were corralled into Cobra, Tommy, by the promise of extracting the name of the real killer, correct?"

"So far you've got it." Tommy nodded.

"Right. So then you," a nod at Snake Eyes, "joined G.I. Joe, and the two of you spent the next several years each convinced that the other was a traitor and tried to messily kill each other on sight, right?"

Snake Eyes gave her a thumbs up.

"Ok. So then you _finally_ figured out who killed your master, and it was one of Cobra's operatives…what's his name…"

"Zartan." Tommy scowled. "Gods, and I could have killed him _so many_ times over the years, and I _so _wanted to…makes me cringe to think about it."

"Zartan. Weird name. Anyways, next act in the soap opera was you ditching Cobra and throwing in your alliance with the Joes, bringing you two face-to-face after years of hating each other's guts?"

"Pretty much." Tommy nodded.

"And you both are _just fine with each other?"_

"Yes."

"Seriously? After years of hating each other with a passion and trying to _kill one another on sight?_ You both just said 'yeah, sorry about that' and started swapping stories about how close you came to killing each other and showing off scars? That's _it?_ Back to being best buddies?_" _

"Yes." Tommy shrugged. Snake Eyes mirrored the gesture.

"You've got to be kidding. The fact that you both have spent more than a little time in critical condition thanks to one another doesn't bother you?"

Snake Eyes shook his head. *We've figured that we're more or less even.*

Tommy translated, and Banger groaned. "You two have the most bizarre relationship of any two friends I've ever seen."

"Normal is boring." Tommy grinned.

"It makes your head hurt if you try to understand it." Scarlett advised. "So don't bother. Just go with it."

Snake Eyes started shaking with laughter. *I suppose we do have a rather interesting past, don't we, brother?*

"Weird…" Banger shook her head, clearly giving up. "I'm going to go get some lunch. You can come if you want, crazy ninja man."

Tommy followed her willingly. Snake Eyes was still snorting with laughter, and ended up leaning against the safety wall, panting for breath as Scarlett watched with tolerant exasperation.

*I've never really thought about how our friendship must look to anyone else.* Snake signed once he finally got himself under control. *I suppose it is a little odd at first glance, isn't it?*

"It's a little odd at the fourth or fifth double take." Scarlett said. She slid an arm around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder. "But then, you're an odd man."

*Thank you.* He pulled her closer and rested his chin on her head. She smiled against his shoulder.


	17. Chapter 17

See? I did promise that I'd been working on this one too!

By the way…sometime, you all have to befriend a military person of some persuasion and in their company watch any show or movie involving military maneuvers of some sort. The worse the movie, the better. This is guaranteed to teach you both proper military strategy and some really interesting new bad words. If you can, get representatives of more than one branch of the armed forces in the room with the bad military movie at the same time. Absolutely priceless entertainment.

* * *

That evening, Shana and Jaye commandeered the rec room television to watch some science fiction show with really bad laser effects. Snake Eyes watched with mild interest, making a mental note each time a 'space marine' did something so idiotic that he _really _wondered if the director had ever even met someone with real military training.

He cringed for the eighth time as a 'soldier' backed –_backed-_ down a dark hallway. Five minutes later, and he was privately speculating on how much better he could have choreographed the hand-to-hand fight scenes. Jaye and Scarlett were laughing hysterically at the obviously cheap costumes that the 'aliens' wore.

Ace, Shipwreck, Dusty, and SnowJob were playing Texas hold em'. Shipwreck was enjoying an unexpected streak of luck, though judging from Ace's handful of kings that was about to change.

Ace was raking a small pile of ones and fives his way with a smirk when Clutch and Bazooka burst through the door, heading straight for the pilot. Snake, Jaye, and Scarlett turned to eye the two curiously.

"Ace!" Clutch's voice was urgent. "The pool is only for a home run, right? Locking lips in the motor pool doesn't count, does it?"

"Oh, come one." Bazooka said plaintively. "There was groping. I saw groping."

"Sorry. The bet is for a night spent together." Ace shook his head. "Nice try, Bazooka, but just because today was your low bet doesn't mean I'll change the rules in your favor."

"Crap." Bazooka scowled.

"You heard the bookie." Clutch said smugly. "Told you so." He headed for the door.

Scarlett looked thoughtful. "The motor pool, huh?"

"Well, behind a pile of shipping crates, but yeah." Bazooka still looked disappointed.

Jaye chuckled. "Romantic."

Snake Eyes just sighed and shook his head.

"Hey, Ace?" Scarlett twisted to eye the pilot. "What's the pool at, anyways?"

"Twenty two hundred." Ace dealt another hand. "Right, you three. You have any _more _money you don't want anymore?" Dusty, Shipwreck and SnowJob anted up and the four settled back into their game.

Scarlett glanced at Snake Eyes. "If you win, we're buying a bigger TV for your room."

*Fine with me.* Snake signed agreeably.

"You know, I'm surprised that Beach hasn't burst a blood vessel over this yet." Jaye said thoughtfully. "He and Flint just about _murdered _each other when Beach tried to warn him off of me. Of course, _I_ just about broke his knees when he started reaming me out about 'fraternizing with that damned smug jackass of a warrant officer'."

"He's never been dumb enough to try that with me." Scarlett frowned. "Of course, I _would_ break his knees, and he knows it."

*Actually, I told him to drop it.* Snake signed. *He did try to chew me out for our relationship. Once.* He grinned.

Scarlett eyed him, eyebrows raised. "I didn't know that…what did you _do?"_

*I didn't do anything. I just told him what I _would_ do if he decided to go over Hawk's head and narc us out.* Snake's grin widened. *He's never said another word on the subject to _anyone_. He's no idiot.*

Jaye winced. "Damn."

Scarlett was smiling. "What did you threaten to do, anyways?" She purred the words in that sultry little voice that meant Snake Eyes had just earned major Girlfriend Brownie Points.

*Suffice to say that it involved a dark night, his spine, my bare hands, and the fact that they'd never find enough of him to ID.* Snake Eyes signed calmly. *I've never seen him look so nauseated before or since. And that's counting when he's coming out of anesthesia.*

"You are downright evil." Shana scooted over far enough to lace her fingers with his. "I like it."

"You know, that might have something to do with why he hasn't killed Tommy yet." Jaye said thoughtfully. "You may have convinced our good Master Sergeant that interfering with the love lives of ninja is a quick trip to a shallow grave."

*Actually, it's a quick trip to several very deep graves, but true.* Snake nodded.

Minutes later, he felt Shana's fingers move against his, signing. *Let's go back to your room.*

He glanced sideways at her. She slid him that sly little look with the hint of a gleam to her smile that meant he'd done something she considered _really_ nice, and meant that she was about to reward him very thoroughly and at some length for it. He stood and sauntered out of the rec room casually enough, then made tracks for his quarters as fast as he could without drawing funny looks.

Scarlett joined him several minutes later. He already had most of his gear off; she tackled him as soon as the door shut behind her. Snake Eyes caught her, and they landed in an undignified but happy tangle on the bed.

An hour and a half later, and they were curled together in exhausted, satiated contentment. Snake Eyes sighed happily against Shana's hair, and she stretched luxuriously before snuggling herself back against his side.

"I really don't know what it says about me," she murmured against his chest, "that I find you threatening messy death to people-who just _happen_ to outrank you- on my behalf incredibly sweet."

*I was telling him the truth.* Snake pointed out. *It wasn't a threat. Actually, my exact words were that I'd accept the court-martial, and that one dark night when he was least expecting it, I'd come for him.* He didn't go into detail about the exact physical wrath he had promised BeachHead. That particular description would really ruin the moment, and Snake Eyes was in a _really_ good mood right now.

"I know." Shana smiled. "It really makes a girl feel special, you know, to know that her man cares enough to take on the whole damned chain of command on her behalf." She rubbed her cheek against his chest and then kissed him on the shoulder.

*You're worth it.* He signed simply, and smiled down at her. She craned her neck and kissed him affectionately.

"So, should _we_ go and do it in the motor pool?" Her grin suddenly turned mischievous. "That'd _really _give the grease monkeys something to gossip about."

Snake Eyes shook his head empathetically. *Not into exhibitionism. Sorry.*

"The kitchen?"

*No.*

"Rec room?"

*No.*

"PT course?"

He eyed her at that. *Do you _want_ to spend the rest of your life doing pushups in the mud?*

"Good point. Aircraft hanger? We could use one of the Tomahawks."

*We've done that.* He grimaced. *Tommy _still_ blackmails me with that incident, I'll have you know.*

"It was worth it." She sounded completely unapologetic. "The motor pool in one of the Wolverines?"

*No.*

"You're no fun." She sighed. He was laughing; it was, of course, all teasing. Neither of them would ever actually even consider christening any of the places mentioned.

Well, except for the Tomahawk incident. And Snake had _known _that to be a bad idea, even at the time. Unfortunately, logic hadn't been the driving force in his mind at that particular moment.

*You weren't saying that twenty minutes ago.* He grinned smugly at the dreamy little smile that he got in response.

"True. Ok, so you are fun." She sat up and stretched again. "What time is it…? Eight? Too early for bed." She leaned over him and reached for the remote. "I'm going to watch Twilight Zone reruns, if you don't mind."

*I like Twilight Zone.* He hesitated. *Don't tell anyone that I said that. My reputation might not survive.*

She laughed. "My lips are sealed."


	18. Chapter 18

Taco pizza, by the way, is the best thing ever, aside from cherry cordials and crunchy bacon. I stand five eight and weigh one-thirty-five, and can in fact eat an entire thin crust taco pizza in under fifteen minutes. I regret it later, but I can do it. The trick is lots of water; helps it go down, and no carbonation to take up important pizza space in the stomach. I have won money doing this. You will understand why I mention this later.

Also, the dart trick at carnivals is totally possible. My fiancé does it all the time, purely for the look on the carnies' faces. I've never quite gotten the trick of it, though. Boo.

* * *

The next morning at PT, BeachHead shot Tommy enough dirty looks that Snake Eyes was sure that the Master Sergeant had heard about the make out session in the motor pool. Storm Shadow gave BeachHead a long, lazy, and very smug grin in response, which probably had a lot to do with the fact that Tommy ending up sweating his way through two hundred pushups and three hundred crunches more than anyone else.

It felt good to run an obstacle course again. Snake Eyes had taken Doc's reluctant approval for sparring to mean that his usual running and morning PT were back in. BeachHead apparently agreed; he didn't say anything when Snake fell in with the rest of the team on the track for their run, and just grunted reluctant approval when Snake insisted that he was fine to run the obstacle course. Even the cold mud that halfway filled the tunnel crawl and lay hidden under the second half of the razor wire obstacle were vastly preferable to forced inactivity.

Halfway through the minefield, Snake saw Stalker's foot land squarely on one of the almost invisible divots in the grass. He tackled his friend, rolling them both most of the way out of the paint spray as the tracker's foot lifted off of the pressure spray.

"Ow." Stalker groaned. "Man, you're heavy…I think you just knocked my wind out. Thanks, though."

Both of them had a few speckles of bright yellow paint accessorizing their uniform coating of grime when they crossed the finish line, but BeachHead was actually nodding.

"Good save, Snake Eyes." The drill sergeant said brusquely. "You're both wounded, but not bad, and Stalker ain't dead. Which he _would_ have been." He glared at the tracker. "Watch your footing! I know you're used to having the spook around to pull your ass out of the fire, but that ain't no excuse. Down and gimme fifty!"

Stalker dropped and started pumping out pushups without complaint. The whole Joe team knew better than to talk back to BeachHead, even if they really felt that he was being unfair. BeachHead responded to backtalk one way; inflicting pain. Either through sheer volume as he screamed at the offender or by verbally whipping the offender through laps, pushups, obstacle course runs, and sit-ups until they _wished_ he'd just yelled at them. Or, most often, a combination of the two.

As they trotted back to towards the Pit after being dismissed, Snake Eyes was in a good mood, despite the drying mud coating him from head to toe, the grass clippings stuck to his boots, and the yellow paint flecks along his right side. Scarlett looked him over; she was just as filthy as he was.

"You should probably clean up before seeing Doc." She said thoughtfully. "He'd have an aneurysm if you tracked mud all over his infirmary."

*Breakfast first.* Snake Eyes signed firmly. *I'm starved.*

They ended up in line behind Recondo, who was constructing a sandwich out of two waffles, bacon, and cheddar scrambled eggs. Scarlett eyed the concoction with interest. "That any good?"

"Fantastic." Recondo topped the mess off with sausage gravy. Scarlett promptly started copying the construction on her own plate. Snake Eyes just shook his head in disgust. He felt rather strongly that butter and syrup were the only things that belonged on a waffle.

Snake Eyes was just finishing his bacon when Tommy, clean and with hair still damp from the shower, sauntered up holding a plate of waffles mostly invisible under large quantities of fruit compote.

"Doc says I don't need the band-aids anymore." He said to Scarlett. Indeed, Storm Shadow's arm was bare today, revealing the mostly-healed graze. "So you don't have to bully me any longer, Red."

"Crap." Shana actually looked disappointed. She forked up another mouthful of waffle sandwich and chewed contemplatively. She brightened suddenly. "Actually, I can still terrorize you. What's this I hear about a make out session in the motor pool?"

Tommy _smiled, _managing to flash nearly all of those even white teeth. "Absolutely correct."

"Is the betting pool still viable?" Shana reached for her coffee.

Storm Shadow's smile faded, and he sighed. "Unfortunately."

"Well, keep it that way for either two or nine more days. I want a new TV."

Tommy glared as Snake started laughing. "You know what? Bite me, Red. You make enough to buy any damn electronics that you want, and if you don't, my sword brother does. Don't tell me that you can't get him to buy you things, either, because I _know_ you can. I am _not_ going to schedule my love life around your gambling."

"Akemi Iga, was it?" Scarlett glanced at Snake Eyes, who was still laughing, his head on the table and his shoulders shaking. He gave her the thumbs-up.

"Contact her. Go ahead." Tommy flipped Scarlett off, scowling. "I'm better than she is anyways…she always went for seduction first, over straight-up shoving a knife through her target's trachea. I can take her. I'll fight the whole damned Iga clan if I have to."

"Spoilsport." Scarlett was laughing too. "I was enjoying holding that over your head."

"You're evil sometimes; you know that, don't you?"

"And proud of it." Scarlett said easily.

Tommy stalked off towards the table where Stalker and Footloose were sitting. Scarlett eyed Snake, still panting for breath, his head in his hands. "You going to be ok over there?"

*Fine. I'm fine.* Snake Eyes managed to get himself under control again. *Your torturing of my sword brother amuses me.*

She smiled. "Well, he tortures me back, so we're pretty even. I really don't think he likes me, though."

*Actually, he doesn't mind you.* Snake shrugged. *He said so…he thinks that you're good for me. Sarcasm is how he shows that he likes someone. If he really didn't like you, he wouldn't even ever acknowledge your presence.*

"He said that?" Scarlett blinked. Snake Eyes nodded. "That's…kind of sweet of him, actually."

*He's a good man.* Snake Eyes smiled. *He tries hard to hide it sometimes, but he is. He's saved my life as many times as he's tried to take it. And how on earth can you eat that thing, anyways?* He grimaced as she mopped some gravy up with a waffle bit.

"It's really good, actually." She held out her fork. "Try just a little?"

*Not a chance.*

"You are so picky." She sighed.

After breakfast, a shower, and a stop by the laundry room, Doc was examining Snake Eyes' leg. The medic sighed. "You know, I didn't say that you could return to PT."

*You didn't tell me not to spar.* Snake Eyes pointed out.

"That's not even a loophole. That's cutting a hole and forcing your way through it at gunpoint." Doc shook his head. "Still, you don't seem to have done yourself any harm, so I suppose you're fine. You're healing nicely; I should be able to take the stitches out in another few days." He wrapped a fresh bandage over Snake's thigh. "You're done."

That evening at supper, Snake Eyes and Scarlett walked into the mess hall to find half of the Joe team clustered around one table. No one seemed to be actually eating, and there were abandoned plates with fresh made-from-scratch pizza still left on them, which was _definitely _unusual for the Joe team.

Snake Eyes elbowed his way through the crowd, curious. Once people realized that he was there, a path opened hastily for him. Scarlett trailed in his wake, letting him open up the way.

The focus of the crowd seemed to be Banger and an almost-whole pizza on the table before her. The pilot was chewing her way through what looked like her third piece. Tommy was standing behind her, arms folded, looking skeptical. Snake Eyes poked Stalker in the ribs to get his attention.

*What's going on?* Snake Eyes asked his friend, still eyeing the pilot and his sword brother curiously.

"The greenie pilot made a comment that she could eat a whole large thin-crust taco pizza singlehandly in under twenty minutes." Stalker also looked skeptical. "Storm told her to put her mouth where his money was…he bet her twenty bucks that she couldn't. She took him up." The tracker shook his head. "There's no way…that pizza is half her size."

*How long has it been?* Snake raised an eyebrow.

"Five minutes. She's doing good so far, but she's going to start choking soon." Stalker said confidently.

"I respect her dedication to pizza." Scarlett said thoughtfully. "Good woman."

Twelve minutes later, and to everyone's surprise Sherry was on her last slice. She was groaning and looking unhappy about it, but she swallowed the last of the crust and managed to keep it down with thirteen seconds left on Ace's stopwatch. There were loud exclamations of disappointment, approval, and disbelief from several of the Joes. Money changed hands in more than one case.

"There." She looked up at Tommy. "Fork it over." She held out a hand expectantly.

"There are still taco chips and lettuce left on the pan." Tommy pointed out.

"Fuck you. I just ate half my bodyweight. I'm going to explode or vomit at any second, and if I do you get to clean up the mess. Gimme the twenty; I earned it." She glared.

Storm Shadow dug two tens out of his back pocket. "I suppose you did. And I am not cleaning it up if you explode. Blood is hard to get out of the space between tiles."

Snake Eyes, bemused, shook his head. Scarlett was looking impressed.

After supper, Scarlett , Covergirl and Jaye were watching their cheesy science fiction again. Spirit and Footloose were playing darts. Ace and Clutch were scowling across the table at each other, playing a game of poker just this side of becoming 'cutthroat' in the literal meaning of the word.

Tommy was sitting on the floor, twelve _shuriken, _three knives, eleven throwing spikes, his _ninjato_, and his sharpening stone and polishing kit spread around him. He was watching the space battle currently on the television with interest. So was Snake Eyes.

"I thought there wasn't any sound in space?" Tommy raised an eyebrow as a fighter exploded spectacularly and loudly.

*There isn't. No air.* Snake Eyes slid a knife out of his boot. *Toss me the whetstone.*

Tommy did, and went back to oiling his swords. "Did that man just back into a dark room in hostile territory?" He shook his head. "Moron."

"Shut up." Jaye said. "Just shut your brain off and enjoy it like we do."

"Not as easy for me as it is for you." Tommy tossed Snake an oiled rag.

"Ha, ha." Jaye flipped him off. "Very funny."

Banger staggered into the rec room just then, and collapsed onto the couch with a groan. "Every time I do that, I swear that I never will again." She paused. "It's made me a good bit of money over the years, though."

Tommy glanced up with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "Two sins in one; gluttony and greed. I'm impressed. You've got a ways to go before matching my personal best, though."

"What's that?" Banger looked interested.

"All seven." Tommy caught the whetstone as Snake tossed it back to him. "I could help you work on that goal, if you'd like. You could start out by going for all seven in one night and work your way up to all seven at once."

"Not likely. If anyone touches me right now, they're going to get covered in half-digested taco chips and cheese." Banger glanced at the dart game. "You play for money?"

"Sometimes." Footloose shrugged.

Banger raised an eyebrow, and glanced at the two ninja.

"They aren't allowed to play any longer." Spirit said in that calm voice. "We prefer fair games."

"You're still bitter that me and Snake cleaned all of you out." Tommy eyed the edge on one of his knives critically.

Scarlett smiled suddenly. "Remember when we went to Coney Island, Snake?"

Snake Eyes smiled under his mask. *I still think that that carnie made up the 'one balloon per dart is all that counts' rule on the fly after my first two throws.*

"Probably, but then you would have owned the booth by the time you ran out of darts if he hadn't."

Tommy raised an eyebrow.

*Aim for the top of the target board, and don't quite throw hard enough to stick the dart in the cork.* Snake Eyes signed. *The dart will fall point down, right through all of the other balloons. I got seven with one throw.*

"Nice." Storm Shadow grinned. "Very nice."

Snake Eyes mimed polishing his fingernails on his chest.

"Actually, neither of us is allowed at the target shooting games on Coney Island anymore either." Scarlett sighed. "Shame, too. I managed to get all five of my nieces stuffed animals for five bucks worth of shots. Finished my birthday shopping for the whole year in fifteen minutes."

"I am totally taking you to an amusement park sometime." Banger said to Storm Shadow. "I want to see this."

"I don't do carnival rides." Storm Shadow warned.

"Chicken. There's not a carnival ride built that even gets up to more than five gees. A toddler could take that."

"See, you're a fighter pilot. Your version of sane isn't the same as mine." Tommy shook his head.

"Sure. You just cling to the undersides of cars driving at seventy down the interstate and take on heavily armed artillery squads with a knife and extreme prejudice. Because that's _totally_ sane."

"Exactly." Tommy started packing his throwing stars away.

Scarlett was shaking her head. "You're both out of your minds."

Snake Eyes gave her a hurt look. She sighed. "Fine. _All three_ of you are out of your minds."

"She's right about carnival rides." Ace said. He raised Clutch ten dollars. Clutch scowled. "Not one built that can even raise my pulse."

"Well, you're nuts too." Scarlett pointed out.

"You're making me feel inadequate here." Footloose sighed.

"Ignore them." Clutch raised Ace another ten. "We have something that none of them do; a sense of self-preservation. And sanity. Don't forget sanity."

"Overrated." Ace checked and slapped his cards down. "Straight, high card king. Beat that."

"My four aces want me to tell you to have your straight kiss my ass." Clutch smirked and raked the pot his way. Ace swore roundly.

* * *

Sorry, Ace, but you can't win every time!


	19. Chapter 19

'Bohemian Rhapsody', by the way, is the greatest rock ballad and possibly the greatest song ever written. No matter what my fiancé says, 'Hey Jude' isn't even close. Sorry, Beatles fans, but this is a fact.

Also, Storm Shadow and Beach square off and other interesting events take place.

* * *

Two days later, and Doc removed Snake's stitches. Snake Eyes was more than a little happy to be given the green light for full duty again; Bludd and the Baroness were being moved to a federal detention facility in just a little under a week. An escape or rescue attempt was more than a little likely. Snake Eyes knew that the Commander's favorite agent for daring escape plans ever since Storm Shadow had left Cobra was Zartan.

Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes were both very much hoping that Zartan showed up; they were both going to be assigned guard duty on the motorcade, per Hawk's orders. It was an obvious choice, but Snake Eyes suspected that the Joe's commanding officer was also hoping that Cobra's disguise master would show up. Hawk had implied a few times that he wouldn't at all mind seeing Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow get their hands on the Cobra agent.

Not that there would be much left to see once Snake and Tommy finished with him. Snake Eyes had some really inventive plans for Zartan, and Tommy had mentioned a scenario involving a fork and twelve thumbtacks that sounded interesting.

Snake Eyes put anticipatory thoughts of the future messy death of the disguise master aside as advanced hand-to-hand started up. He set the Joes to working defenses against armed and unarmed grapples.

Thirty minutes into the class, and Snake Eyes heard Scarlett's voice from where she was working with Roadblock. "No…you're trying to muscle it. You're losing the lock, and letting me slip right out of the hold. Like this…you need to put pressure right here…"

A yelp of pain from Roadblock.

"Sorry! Don't fight it, 'Block, just go with it like we've shown you. But you can see how effective this lock is if you get it right. I barely put any pressure on it at all…no, you're still trying to muscle it. Snake? A minute?"

Snake Eyes left Recondo and Stalker working sweeps and strode over to Shana and the heavy machine gunner.

"Here, we'll show you. Maybe you'll be able to see better if I demonstrate on someone else. Single same-side lapel grab and pull, Snake. Wrist lock."

He nodded and went for the grab. Scarlett deftly trapped his arm, broke his grip down, and rolled his wrist up. "Okay. See how his elbow is bent? See how my fingers are digging into the nerve cluster in the ball of the thumb?"

Roadblock nodded, examining the hold intently. Snake Eyes remained patiently motionless. Finally the bigger man spoke. "But how do you get his arm there if you don't use any muscle? Don't you kinda have to?"

Scarlett actually laughed. "Roadblock, I couldn't muscle you or Snake Eyes if I wanted to. Snake outweighs me by fifty or sixty pounds. You're _twice_ my size. Forget about your muscles for a second…this lock is all about leverage." Scarlett let go of Snake. "One more time please. Okay, see how when he goes for the grab I trap his hand and slam my elbow into his bicep? That's the key. That strike will break the hold, and actually the bigger the muscles on your opponent the more this strike will hurt him. Then you just rotate this hand up, and he still doesn't have any muscular control back, so he can't fight it at all. No muscle needed. All technique."

"Oh!" Roadblocks face lit up with the sudden flash of comprehension. "I get it…so then it's just pressure straight down?"

"Yep, and it shouldn't take much. Just make sure you keep his wrist trapped, aannd…" Snake Eyes felt the familiar pain that came from joints being twisted in completely unnatural directions shoot from his wrist up to his shoulder. He dropped automatically, relieving the tension, and nodded approval. Scarlett let go at once.

"So what kind of strike can you do off of this?" Roadblock asked. "I mean, it isn't like he's badly hurt."

*Pretty much anything you want.* Snake signed dryly. *Your attacker will be down on his knees and wondering if he's ever going to be able to move his fingers again; he'll be wide open.*

"Great…Thanks."

*Anytime. Try it again, on me this time.*

Roadblock didn't seem to have any problems getting the lock to work after that. Snake Eyes went back to circling amongst the groups as they worked, eyeing their efforts critically, making corrections and suggestions where needed, and offering praise where earned.

Snake Eyes greatly enjoyed teaching the advanced hand-to-hand class. He contemplated once again the possibility of taking two or three dedicated apprentices; he knew that he really should. Especially considering that he and Tommy were the highest-ranking Arashikage left alive; it was their duty to pass on their training at some point.

Tommy had more than once mentioned that after Zartan and the Commander were dead he'd like to return to Japan and re-open the Arashikage training compound. He'd hinted that Snake Eyes' presence would be greatly appreciated, and that Snake would be welcome to a place as a master of the clan. Snake Eyes found the idea appealing, but wasn't sure that he'd be willing to leave the Joe team. Sooner or later, however, he would retire, and then…well, it was a much better future to look forwards to than playing golf in Florida until he died of boredom.

But that was years in the future. Snake Eyes shook himself out of contemplation and concentrated on his class.

After hand-to-hand let out, Scarlett dragged him back towards their room. Snake Eyes followed out of curiosity; she didn't have the gleam in her eyes that meant The Mood had struck, but she seemed exited about something. At their door, she paused.

"Does Hawk have you stuck anywhere for the rest of the afternoon and evening?" Judging from her tone, she pretty much had the hours in question planned out for them.

Snake Eyes shook his head. *Nothing…I'm not up for guard duty until next week.*

"Excellent." She shoved the door open and lunged for a box sitting on the bed. Snake Eyes raised an eyebrow as she tore into the package. "This finally came in." She extracted a videotape from the box, set it aside, and drew out several more. "The complete works of Sho Kosugi." She brandished a tape with glee. "Dozens of hours of cheesy ninja battles for you to pick apart and critique and for me to laugh at. We're going to make a start on them right now."

Snake Eyes smiled. "Please tell me that you got 'Revenge of the Ninja.'*

"I told you. Complete works. I've got _everything."_ Scarlett dug through the box and extracted the movie in question. "You want to start with this one, then?"

*Absolutely. Shall I go and get popcorn?*

"You do that." Scarlett piled the rest of the tapes back into the box and moved it to the top of the dresser. She started fiddling with the remote.

The snack run only took him a few minutes. They spent the rest of the afternoon watching the new movies and snorting with laughter.

"It is _not_ that hard to break a man's ribs." Scarlett snorted at one point. "The shiny silver mask is pretty, though. Wouldn't that be a little hard to sneak around in?"

*Maybe he's mesmerizing his enemies with the shiny lights reflecting off of it.* Snake Eyes considered. *Plus, if he ever needs a disco ball…right there.* He grinned as Scarlett started laughing helplessly.

"Disco, Snake?"

*Don't worry; I never disco danced.* He frowned. * I would have had to kill anyone who might have witnessed the fiasco. Can you picture me in a leisure suit? Not good.*

"Oh, wow, brain burn…no, no it wouldn't be." She paused. "Oh, come on…Snake, how hard is it to kill a man with a _shuriken?_"

*Not very.* Snake frowned. *Forehead's an iffy target, though…and it's not about the angle.* He glared at the TV. *The bone's pretty thick there. I like throat shots or going for the big arteries. Eyes are good too, or severing the spine. Tommy _might_ be able to pull off a straight-on forehead shot, but he's better with throwing stars than I am.* He scowled at the movie again. *Even a temple shot would be more practical than going for the middle of the forehead. Bone's thin there.*

"That's what I thought."

Snake Eyes shook his head. *I swear, I'm going to start hiring myself out as a consultant for these things.*

"Isn't that breaking some sort of unwritten ninja secrecy law?"

*It might be.* Snake Eyes considered. *On second thought, maybe no side job as a movie consultant. I don't want to be marked by every living ninja in the world. That might make life a little _too_ interesting.*

Scarlett snorted. "You think?"

They watched movies until suppertime, and then only took a break long enough to eat. On their way back to their room, Snake Eyes stopped by the rec room to make a pot of tea.

Even before he opened the door, he was assaulted by loud music. Very loud music. He opened the door cautiously.

Banger and one of the grease monkeys from the motor pool had a tape player sitting on the table, a heap of tapes next to it, and were apparently having a heated argument over the virtues of two different bands.

"Come on." Banger looked disgusted. "'Hey Jude' is a decent song. I'm not denying that. But just _listen!"_ she waved a hand vaguely at the tape deck. "'Bohemian Rhapsody! Queen! Greatest rock ballad ever! _How can you deny this fact?"_

"Freddie Mercury isn't fit to kiss Paul McCartney's ass." The grease monkey glared at the pilot. "Queen can burn in hell for all I care about them. The Beatles are so much better than Queen that they shouldn't even be mentioned in the same sentence."

Banger turned up the volume. "Let me rewind and play 'Rhapsody' again…No relatively sane human being can hate this song." She shook her head. "If you do actually hate this song, I should just kill you, because that means that you are a communist Nazi bastard and not fit for continued life."

Snake Eyes looked at the couch. Tommy was sitting there, legs folded into lotus, calmly meditating. Snake Eyes' ears were almost hurting at the music the pair was blasting; he couldn't imagine how Tommy, with his remarkably acute hearing, could stand it.

Scarlett apparently agreed. "Storm?" Her voice was incredulous.

Tommy opened his eyes, glanced up at them, and popped a pair of earplugs out. He winced almost instantly. "Need something, Red? Sweet Gods…I can't take that." The earplugs went back in. "Just sign to me if you need to talk. I'd like to keep from bleeding to death from my ear canals."

"Rock is supposed to make your ears bleed." Banger said absently. "If they aren't, you don't have the volume up high enough… _Seriously? _The _hell _Queen's guitar riffs are inferior to Sabbath's. Dammit, Rachet, are you completely _brain damaged?"_ The pilot glared at the grease monkey. "Idiot…"

*I was going to ask how you can stand that, but you just answered that.* Scarlett was laughing. *Why don't you just leave?*

Tommy sighed, glanced over at Banger, and signed back. *Because there's some show on in about ten minutes that she wants to watch. And I think I've got a shot at someone collecting on the betting pool in the next few days if I play my cards right.*

Snake Eyes smiled. *And you call me whipped.*

*Women know how to manipulate men.* Tommy shrugged philosophically. *And unless you go along with them, you're going to be sleeping alone for a _very _long time. This is a fact of life.*

Snake Eyes, usually a purist when it came to tea preparation, actually settled for nuking the water instead of properly boiling it on a stovetop. A thermos for himself and a second for Shana in hand, they beat a hasty retreat from the rec room and the headache-inducingly loud music.

The next movie was good, but they stopped paying attention about halfway through. Snake Eyes enjoyed bad martial arts movies, true. But he enjoyed Shana doing interesting things to him with her lips _far_ more.

Waking up the next morning started ordinarily enough. Scarlett did her usual grumping when he dragged her out of bed. Snake Eyes was still tugging on his mask when she moved to the door, opening it with a yawn.

She froze, blinking and staring out into the hallway. Opened her mouth. Shut it again. Curious, Snake Eyes strode over and looked over her shoulder. He froze. Stared. Sighed.

Across the hallway, Banger was emerging from Tommy's room. She spotted them and waved cheerfully.

"Morning." She said brightly.

"Yeah…" Scarlett managed. Tommy ambled up to stand behind the short pilot. Snake Eyes' sword brother was shirtless, barefoot, and had the most self-satisfied smirk on his face that Snake Eyes had ever seen.

"Anyways, see you at PT in a few. I have to go change quick" Banger trotted off down the hall, humming happily to herself. Snake Eyes noted that she was apparently wearing clothes borrowed from Tommy; the tank top was far too long for her and the track pants were cuffed four times.

Snake and Scarlett watched her vanish around a corner, and turned in unison to eye Tommy. Storm Shadow was leaning against his doorjamb, still smirking relentlessly.

"What?" He spread his hands at their stares. "I told you I had a shot if I played my cards right. I did, on both counts."

"Please put a shirt on." Scarlett sighed. "You've got bite marks, and I really don't want to see them."

Tommy glanced down at his shoulder, where the faint imprint of small, even teeth was still visible. "Why, so I do." His smirk grew, if anything, wider.

Snake Eyes shook his head. Tommy's grin became positively wicked. "What? I had our clan's honor to uphold!"

"Just promise you'll let her down gently if you get bored." Scarlett's voice was severe. "She's a nice girl. And why's she wearing your clothes?"

"Don't worry, mother." Tommy's tone was mocking. "We're just having a good time…and those are her words, not mine. I'm not dumb enough to alienate the air support. And," he smirked again, "Her flight suit didn't survive the night, I'm afraid."

Scarlett groaned, dropping her head into her hands. Tommy laughed aloud. "You asked, Red."

"Yeah, I did." Scarlett sighed. "Stupid of me…and you'd _better_ not jeopardize our air support." She frowned. "Or I will _personally _have Snake Eyes scrub the _dojo_ floor with you for an hour or three. Or I might just kick you in the groin a few dozen times." She glanced up at Snake. "Do you want your wrath or mine hanging over him?"

Snake Eyes smiled down at her. *You know how much I love watching you crush the balls of other men.*

Tommy turned and vanished back into his room. "Whatever. Threaten away. You're not killing my good mood."

His door shut.

At PT, Tommy's smirk hadn't faded one jot. Banger's good mood also didn't go unmarked. Beach gave the pair a long look, and frowned. Snake could hear several people whispering in low frenzied tones to Ace.

After Beach finally dismissed them, he leveled a finger at Tommy and Banger. "You two. Stay."

Snake Eyes, several yards away, froze. He grabbed Shana by one arm and dragged her sideways into the cover of the scrubby trees that grew around the obstacle course. Flattening themselves to the ground, they watched.

"I shouldn't have to tell you two this." BeachHead didn't sound happy. "I'm not gonna chew you out in front of the rest of the team; they ain't gotta hear. But you two are on thin ice. You're breakin' frat regs, and you both damn well know better." He glared at them. Banger was looking, quite frankly, terrified.

"I'm only gonna warn you once." Beach growled. "And this is it. So cut the kissyface; I ain't gonna stand for any more frat regs getting smashed to bits around here."

Tommy gave the Master Sergeant a long, level, narrow-eyed look that Snake Eyes knew very well. He winced, not sure whether to feel sorry for BeachHead or his sword brother.

"Frat regs? Like the ones that you were observing so studiously with Covergirl in the trees along the fenceline last week?" Tommy's voice was cool. "Those frat regs?"

Scarlett and Snake Eyes sucked in a breath in unison, wincing. BeachHead froze for a split second before rounding on Storm Shadow, his face going red, then purple, then almost black. "_WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?"_

"You heard me." Tommy didn't flinch.

"You…" Beach pointed at Banger, his hand shaking. "Git. Dismissed. Whatever. _GO!"_

Banger took off like a startled deer. BeachHead glared at Tommy, eyes narrowed and shoulders bunched as if he really wanted to take a swing at the ninja. Tommy stared back, unblinking.

"You…" Beach visibly fought to articulate his words. "Ground. _NOW."_

Tommy calmly went down on his knuckles and started pumping out pushups. "So, what'll it be, Master Sergeant?" He turned his head to eye Beach. "You tattle on me, I tattle on you…and you're going to take a helluva lot more of a hit to your reputation and credibility than I am." Storm Shadow smiled thinly. "Worst they can do is court martial me, and I really don't give a damn. They won't give me a dishonorable; not to one of their darling ninja assassin-commando spies extraordinaire. I'm too valuable to them. Can you say the same, mister Drill Sergeant?"

BeachHead planted a foot between Tommy's shoulders and leaned on the ninja; Tommy grunted and strained visibly at the added weight, but kept going. "Shut it, spook." Beach snarled. "It ain't just you…the greenie should know better too."

"Ug…you're heavy…" But Tommy still had that thin little smile on his face. "I rank her and I'm the one who was once an enemy to the United States; if it comes down to it, I'll take the blame. Just like you'd take the fall for Covergirl, and we both know damn well that you would, so don't lie."

BeachHead leaned the rest of his two-hundred some pounds onto Tommy's back, flattening the ninja into the dirt. "We never had this conversation. We clear, ninja?"

"Absolutely." Tommy's voice was muffled by the grass, but he sounded smug.

"Good." Beach stepped back. "Get up, and get yer worthless ass on the track. You are gonna run until you puke, and then you are gonna run some more until you flat-out _die."_

"I figured." Tommy peeled himself off of the ground and jogged towards the half-mile track. BeachHead stomped along behind him, still looking like he very much wanted to throttle the ninja where he stood.

Scarlett let out a soft breath. "God _damn._"

*I told you. He's a good man.* Snake Eyes was smiling.

"He is going to be _hurting._"

*Probably.* Snake Eyes nodded. *I don't think that he cares.*

"_Crazy."_ But Scarlett looked impressed. "I've _never_ heard _anyone_ talk back to BeachHead like that."

*You didn't see me when I detailed exactly what I'd do to him if he went to the brass about us.* Snake smiled the same thin smile that Tommy had been using. *He came damn close to taking a swing at me. I was doing pushups for a solid forty-five minutes, and then I had to run his obstacle course twenty times.*

"_Ninja._" Scarlett shook her head.

*Do _not_ interfere with a ninja's love life.* Snake Eyes nodded to himself. *We do _not_ take it well.*


	20. Chapter 20

I didn't plan on getting anything up before Christmas, but I'm snowed in and bored, so here's a short chappy…and by the way, we will soon see some more action. Ninja will get to stab things. Bad people will get shot. BeachHead will blow things up. It will be fun.

And for anyone who thinks that forty miles is impossible…I know marathon runners who habitually do twenty-five just as their normal routine. A ninja being yelled at by an angry drill sergeant, I would imagine, could do considerably more before he dropped.

* * *

It was five in the afternoon and the mess crew had just started serving supper before Snake Eyes saw his sword brother again. He and Scarlett had just sat down when Snake saw Tommy dragging himself through the line. Snake beckoned his fellow ninja over.

Tommy sat down with a noise that was half a sigh and half a groan. Judging from his still-wet hair and the fact that he _wasn't_ covered in mud or dripping with sweat, he'd showered before making his way to the mess hall. After sinking into a chair, the white-clad Arashikage slumped forwards to rest his forehead on the table.

"I'm dead." He announced.

"I'm surprised that that statement isn't true in the literal meaning." Scarlett said dryly.

"I take it you were watching?" Tommy sat up reluctantly.

Snake Eyes nodded. *What did Beach do to you, anyways?*

"Eighty laps, so forty miles. Every ten he sent me into one of those mud pits he's so fond of to do pushups until he thought I looked tired enough." Tommy sighed. "And by the end, I wasn't faking it."

"Did he stand out there the whole time?" Scarlett glanced at the clock.

"No…he switched off with Slaughter after the first three or four hours." Tommy grinned suddenly. "It was worth it, though. I shall treasure the look on our drill sergeant's face until my dying day."

"What did he tell Slaughter he was beating you into the ground for?" Scarlett asked curiously.

"Poor conduct." Tommy started on his chicken. "He left it at that…did some indistinct muttering when Slaughter asked for specifics." The ninja smiled, and then suddenly swiveled in his chair, eyeing the line.

Snake Eyes looked, and spotted a petite figure with short dark hair making her way towards a table across the mess hall. Tommy waved her over. Banger hesitated before almost reluctantly turning and heading towards them. Snake Eyes sighed and wolfed down the remainder of his food before she could get too close, quietly glad that he'd managed to mostly eat in peace before his usually-private table had become, apparently, invite-a-friend.

His mask was safely tugged back down by the time the pilot sat down, looking distinctly upset. She looked sideways at Tommy.

"You really didn't have to take the fall." She said at last. "I was just as much at fault as you…but thanks. I really don't want to get kicked out of the Joe team before I've even had a chance to make it. I'm sorry I got you in trouble; it won't happen again." She fidgeted. "I wouldn't normally…it was just…well, I knew about you two," A gesture at Snake and Shana. "And about Jaye and whasshisname- the warrant officer. And Ace told me that Hawk doesn't care much about a few broken frat regs, but he might have been…"

Tommy cut her off with a snort and a wave of his hand. "Hawk doesn't give a damn so long as we don't let our fun interfere with our work. Don't worry about Beach; he's never been overly fond of me. He and Covergirl break frat regs just as badly as Snake and Red or Jaye and Flint. We're fine; I took care of him. He won't say another word to either of us unless he catches us christening his PT course."

Scarlett groaned. "Mental images, Tommy."

"You and Snake have scarred my brain enough. Suck it up, Red."

Banger was raising her eyebrows. "You're _sure _we're ok? One hundred percent positive?"

"Positive." Tommy returned to his food. "I was blackmailing people before I could walk; I know when I've got someone cornered."

Banger still looked worried. "What did he do to you, anyways?"

"Forty mile run and more pushups than I really want to think about." Tommy shrugged at her wince and guilty look. "Physical exhaustion isn't anything new or particularly intimidating to me. I'll live, and I still gave better than I took." A wicked grin. "He isn't going to be able to look be in the eye for _weeks_…I asked if he'd gotten Covergirl that black lace thong he seemed so enthusiastic about when I saw them in the woods…_ow!"_ He winced as Banger's foot hit his ankle. "Come on, woman!"

"Voyeurism isn't polite." Banger glared at him. "And why were you spying on them, anyways? Are you that desperate to see an ex-model naked?"

"I was out running, and heard noises…I was curious. If I was really enough of a pervert to want to spy on Covergirl naked-which I am _not-_, I wouldn't do it when I had to see BeachHead too." Tommy rubbed his ankle thoughtfully. "Your front kicks are getting a little more speed. Still pretty weak, though. You need more snap to them."

"Least I hit you."

"Yeah, well, I'm tired and sore. Don't expect to do it again." Tommy eyed her. "You know, after my hard morning, it'd be really nice to get someone to give me a backrub. Besides, you owe me; my pain is your fault."

Banger smiled. "You're incorrigible. Maybe later…you do have some points to burn right now."

Snake left the two of them alternating between arguing cheerfully and eating. Scarlett drifted over to chat with Covergirl, who was still methodically applying herself to her plate.

He was just leaving the mess hall as Ace was heading in; the pilot flagged him down. Snake cocked his head curiously.

"Hey! You sleep across the hall from him…It true that Storm managed to get Shorty in bed? They were both looking pretty smug earlier, but no one saw anything for sure."

Snake nodded. *I saw her come out of his bedroom this morning; the bet's definitely over. Who had eight days?*

Ace pulled a notepad out of his back pocket and flipped through it. "That would be…Tunnel Rat. Lucky bastard; twenty five hundred even. He'll be gloating for weeks."

*Technically, it happened last night.* Snake Eyes pointed out.

"Sorry. We don't know exactly when they were fraternizing, so we count the morning after. Nice try, but you'll be paying for Scarlett's TV out of your own pockets."

Snake Eyes shrugged amiably and headed for the roof and some solitude.


	21. Chapter 21

"Tua madre si da per niente!"Means, roughly translated, "your mother is such a whore that she gives it away for free". I learned this phrase years ago from a Navy uncle, so don't yell at me if that's not exactly what it means.

This fic is almost done…just a few more chapters to go.

* * *

Over the next three days, Snake didn't see his sword brother much. This didn't surprise him; when Tommy managed to charm his way into a woman's affections, he generally spent as much time as possible horizontal for the first few weeks. When they did see him, Storm took a great deal of good-natured ribbing from the rest of the men on the team, which only served to make the omnipresent smirk on Tommy's face grow even wider.

BeachHead, notably, barely looked at the pair save to bark orders at PT. Tommy still seemed to be getting stuck with more pushups and laps on the track than anyone else, but this fact didn't seem to faze the ninja.

On the fourth day, Snake Eyes was assigned guard duty in the brig; he had been greatly looking forwards to his turn to stand watch over Bludd and the Baroness. Bludd looked appropriately terrified when he stalked in and relieved Footloose; the Baroness just glared from her own cell.

"I suppose you're enjoying this?" She snapped.

He smiled under his mask but didn't reply.

She was pacing around the edges of her cell, rather reminding him of a bored, angry panther he'd once seen in a zoo. She gave him another scorching glare. "I hate ninja…I wish the Commander would dismiss the Red Hands. You're nothing but trouble, the whole lot of you Arashikage."

She was trying to get a rise out of him; the Red Hands were, of course, traitors to his clan. She knew very well that grouping them with him and Tommy, the masters of the clan, was a high insult. Snake Eyes ignored her, but quietly hoped that she'd try something stupid enough to warrant him bouncing her head off of the wall a few times.

"Oh, shut up." Bludd sounded exasperated. "He's not going to react, and you know it."

"At least I didn't break when I was being interrogated." The Baroness shot back. "The Commander is _not_ going to be happy with you."

"Well, you didn't have an extremely angry pair of ninja with plans to decorate a Christmas tree with your entrails locked in a small room with you." Bludd grumped. "He can yell all he wants, so long as I'm alive to hear it. Storm Shadow has always hated me, and you know it…but I've rarely seen him _that_ angry. I don't get paid if I get strangled with my own intestines, you know."

"I work for greater things than just money." The Baroness sniffed.

"Yeah, well, fuck you." Bludd growled. "Some of us _didn't_ inherit vast amounts of wealth from our parents, you know. Not all of us were spoiled little rich brats. _Some_ of us actually had to work our way up in the world instead of getting handed a command position because they were willing to write large checks and do unmentionable things to Destro."

The Baroness replied with a stream of blistering profanity in what sounded like Russian, German, French, Italian, Mandarin Chinese, and possibly Czech. Snake Eyes eyed the security camera and made a mental note to ask Breaker for a copy later; watching Bludd and the Baroness fight when they were being held in close proximity was always high entertainment. Plus, he didn't understand Italian, but Scarlett did, and he was curious what "_Tua madre si da per niente!_" meant.

Half an hour later, and the Baroness was still trying to get a rise out of him; Snake Eyes knew _exactly_ what she was doing. She'd done it before in other detention facilities. She liked to needle a guard into opening the cell long enough to take a swing at her; she was a very skilled hand-to-hand combatant, and she'd killed more than one guard in federal prisons using this trick and vanished from detention, showing up weeks later back in the thick of things with Cobra.

Truth be told, he'd done the same thing himself in Cobra detention facilities; it was an acceptable means of disrupting the enemy long enough to gain an advantage and vanish out from under their noses. His needling, of course, consisted more of bouncing bits of debris off of the foreheads of any guards and, if possible, writing notes to inquire how many of their friends he'd disposed of before he'd been brought it, but the results were the same.

She'd tried seduction on him once, the first time she'd been captured. She'd never bothered again.

"So." She had left off pacing and was sitting on her cot, glaring at him. "I hear we're being moved soon."

He didn't move.

"I suppose you're going to be guarding us."

He examined one of his knives, frowned at an almost-invisible burr on the blade, and reached for the whetstone tucked away in one of his pockets.

"I suppose that redheaded whore of yours will be, too."

He carefully ground the nick away, and reached for an oiled cloth.

"If I know Destro, he'll only send the best to break us free."

He polished the steel blade meticulously.

"I wonder who Zartan will infiltrate you as…I hope he shoots Storm Shadow; he should have gotten that ninja when he killed your master. He should have shot all of you, actually."

Snake Eyes slid the knife away, and returned to his relaxed, casual stance.

"Oh, shut up." Bludd sighed. "It's not going to work on him. It never works on him. You know that. Hell, it never works on _any_ of the Joes."

The Baroness made a little noise of disgust. "Unfortunately, you're right...but there's always a chance. They get new recruits in; sooner or later one will break."

Snake Eyes thought about the grueling selection program that BeachHead and Sergeant Slaughter ran greenshirts through, and smiled to himself. Even the greenest of new Joes were usually terrified enough of the Alabama-born Sergeant Major that they'd ignore pretty much any taunt rather than risk bringing Beach's wrath down on their heads. As most greenshirts were convinced that BeachHead had eyes in the back of his head and was telepathic to boot, the chances of the Baroness inciting one to break his or her orders and open a cell were pretty much nil.

He was relieved some time later by Dusty; the amiable desert trooper was wearing a jacket. The cell block was kept at about sixty degrees, and Dusty considered anything under about seventy to be sweatshirt weather. Snake Eyes found it rather amusing that the thin-blooded desert trooper and SnowJob, who claimed that nothing really counted as cold until you got to negative thirty or forty, were best friends.

"Hey, Snake." Dusty eyed the prisoners. "Has she shut up yet? Ace said she spent two hours last night trying to flirt with him and convince him to open the cell door."

Snake Eyes shook his head.

"Figures." Dusty sighed. "She'll never learn. God, I don't know how Destro and the Commander put up with her…she's really a nagging harpy, for all she's ok to look at."

Bludd sniggered. The Baroness glared. Dusty gave them both a cheerful grin and a wave. "You two enjoying your stay so far?"

Snake left Dusty easily ignoring the insults the Baroness threw at him and trotted back up the stairs. He headed for the _dojo;_ it was almost time for hand-to-hand.


	22. Chapter 22

In which ninja battles are met, snipers get to shoot things, and Cobra isn't the only one who sometimes sustains losses.

* * *

Five days after Snake Eyes was cleared for full duty, and the Pit was in a frenzy of activity as the motorcade carrying the Baroness and Bludd to a federal detention facility to await trial prepared to set off.

Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow quietly drifted about the edges of the activity; both were going to be going along, and for good reason. Hawk wanted to be able to bring as much pain down on any rescue attempt by Cobra as quickly as possible, and there absolutely weren't a lot of better ways to kill someone quickly and painfully than sending a pair of ninja after them.

But Storm Shadow knew Cobra better than any of them, and Tommy had been worried about a possible infiltration of the motorcade in the general hubbub before they set out. Hawk shared Storm's concern; Zartan was, in fact, just that good when it came to disguise.

So the two ninja circled, almost totally unseen, keeping a sharp eye-and ear, in Tommy's case-on the preparations. Nothing unusual happened, but that didn't ease the familiar little voice in the back of Snake's mind that was telling him that they'd see action before sunset. He trusted that little voice. It was usually right.

When they finally set off-and they were expecting trouble, with the prisoners in an armored truck, flanked by Wolverines and Humvees, covered from above by Tomahawks and Sky Strikers-Snake Eyes was sitting uneasily in his place in the back of one of the heavily armored Humvees. Storm was somewhere towards the front of the motorcade, but his sword brother had been just as edgy as he was.

The first several hours passed without incident. They stopped off for refueling as planned, meeting up with the tanker exactly on time. Snake and Storm Shadow slipped into the shadows and Tommy wasn't satisfied until he'd gotten close enough to listen to the heartbeats of each member of the tanker team. Tommy could recognize even well-hidden and disguised people at twenty feet by heartbeat and breathing rhythm, something that Snake Eyes had always been mildly envious of.

But the tanker team passed Tommy's scrutiny, and they set off again without incident.

An hour later, halfway between nowhere and nothing, and Snake Eyes heard Tommy's shout over the comm line. The white-clad ninja had insisted on perching on top of a wolverine, keeping a sharp eye on the sky. Storm Shadow didn't fully trust radar and electronic monitoring. It was something that had been drilled into him by his uncles, and only reinforced during his tours in the jungle; rely on your own senses above mechanical ones. Mechanical scanning could be tampered with far more easily than your own eyes and ears. Actually, part of the modern ninja's training involved methods of tampering with sensitive modern electronics for your own benefit.

Snake didn't have quite the dim view of the capabilities of modern technology as Storm, but then he'd been traditional army before he'd been ninja. He still preferred to rely on his own senses; he knew very well just how easy it was to bypass cameras and other security systems.

"CLAW gliders!" His sword brother sounded almost relieved. "Mile off, at least twelve of them!"

Ace's voice crackled back over the line. "I don't see anything on my radar…you sure, Storm?"

"Of course I am." Tommy snapped back. "I know what the engine on a CLAW sounds like…and they're engineered for radar invisibility, so you _won't_ see them."

"Trust the ninja's ears." Flint's voice cut in sharply. "Right, everyone, get ready for some action."

Snake was already out of the Humvee; it hadn't stopped fully, but he rolled with the impact and was on his feet and melting into the underbrush along the road in seconds.

"Spooks are moving." BeachHead said. "Ace, Slip, you better not let those gliders get within shooting range."

"You wound me." Ace sounded insulted.

"I will, if you let me get shot by a damned viper in a glorified paper airplane." Beach growled back.

"Don't worry, I can outfly any viper, no matter how small and quick they are…_oh there you are_…Slip, fifteen gliders coming in from the northwest."

Above their heads, a Sky Striker flipped easily over and tore towards the specks on the horizon. Moments later, and little orange licks of flame signaled the spectacular demise of several of the CLAW pilots. A loud hoot of victory from Ace signaled who the shooter had been. Slip-Stream's quieter but no less smug exclamation followed shortly afterwards.

It was just about then that _extremely _well-hidden vipers and Dreadnoks boiled from the brush and long grass on either side of the road, and five seconds later both sides were trading gunfire thick and fast. Snake Eyes threw himself into the fight without reservations; close, brutal fighting when there was plenty of cover to vanish into and appear suddenly from at the most lethal moment possible was exactly the kind of fight he liked. It was something that regularly foiled Cobra ambushes; the very terrain that set up a good ambush point was the same kind that a ninja was most at home in.

He caught the occasional flash of white out of the corner of his eyes as his sword brother slid in and out of sight, each time leaving a viper bleeding profusely, twitching as poison ate through blood and nerves, or screaming in pain and clutching at multiple broken limbs.

They weren't just attacking randomly, though. The swift, merciless death and destruction they were dealing apparently from thin air was throwing the enemy gunmen into complete confusion, which both destroyed any semblance at tactics that the ambush might have had and made the vipers and Dreadnoks much easier targets for the rest of the Joes. BeachHead, in particular, was delighting in the complete confusion and the really excellent shots it was letting him line up.

Snake Eyes allowed himself a tight smile. Sometimes he really, really enjoyed his job.

Just as things were starting to turn very definitely in the Joe's favor, however, he heard a desperate yell from the driver of the armored truck.

"SNAKE! STORM!" The man sounded frantic. "There are ninja all over me…came out of the freaking _road, _ I _swear…_must have dug themselves ratholes…They just killed two of the recruits guarding me...I've locked myself in the cab and the armor is keeping them out, but I don't know for how long…and they're doing something to the back of the truck…"

_Red Hands._ Snake pelted for the armored truck. He'd been wondering…a flat-out artillery assault against a heavily armed and armored motorcade wasn't the wisest tactical move.

BeachHead was roaring. "GET YERSELVES DOWN! DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT ENGAGE ENEMY NINJA CLOSE QUARTERS! GET ME SNIPERS! _SNAKE EYES! STORM SHADOW! I'M LOSIN' MEN HERE!"_

Snake Eyes put on an extra burst of speed, drew his knife and _ninjato_, and launched himself into the first Red Hand. The hostile ninja twisted, and a _sai_ brushed his sword to the side…but that strike had been just to distract his opponent anyways.

His real strike was fast, brutal, and slid the blade of his knife smoothly between two ribs and directly into the heart. He ducked, dropped, and Tommy streaked over his head. His sword brother's jump took him right into the middle of three Red Hand; Tommy landed in a crouch and exploded up, twisting himself around weapons, his twin _ninjato_ moving fast enough to make a thin, high hissing whine.

One Red Hand hit the road almost at once. His head took another second to stop rolling.

Snake cut his way through another enemy ninja and unloaded one of his Uzis at the four Red Hand fiddling with the locks on the back of the armored truck. The ninja scattered; one was dripping blood. That was a nice bonus. Snake Eyes hadn't really expected to hit any of them…he'd just been trying to interrupt whatever they were trying to do.

The wounded ninja, slowed by a thigh wound, abruptly keeled over. Snake Eyes heard Low Light's quiet voice over the comm, calmly claiming the kill shot. Sure enough, when Snake Eyes darted past the corpse a moment later he saw a bullet hole cleanly between the Red Hand's eyes.

But…there were so many…Snake Eyes counted at least twenty Red Hand, and that was just the ones he could see. There were another few returning to what looked like a complicated lock-picking procedure at the back of the truck, and his way was blocked by several of the enemy ninja when he made a move for them. He could deal with them, but they were going to get the truck open, and the Baroness and Bludd were going to get away…

Then Tommy was right beside him, and his sword brother suddenly tore his wristbands off. The red lines and bars of the _Ji Ji_ hexagram were very clear, and his sword brother was shouting in angry Japanese.

"_Traitors! Come and face a true Arashikage! The Young Master and the Silent Master are here for you…cut us down if you can!"_

Almost as one, the Red Hand paused, turned, and eyed Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. Tommy clenched his right fist. "_None of you are worthy of wearing the clan marking…I'll cut the marks off of your arms myself."_

Snake Eyes smiled at the abject hate in the eyes revealed by those red masks; _oh, well played, Tommy._

Some-very few, but some-things ran deeper than orders, or employers, or missions. Blood feuds and lost honor within clans were one of these things

Sure enough, the Red Hand turned away from the other Joes, away from the captives, and pounced at Snake and Storm with bloody murder in their eyes.

Tommy broke for the side of the road and cover, Snake right by him. Behind them, he heard the popping of sniper fire, and the heavy thudding of bodies hitting the ground. Snake ducked; a throwing star hissed over his head. Just ahead of him, Tommy swatted a knife out of the air before it hit his ribs.

Out of the main fight, Snake and Tommy went back to back. They'd barely gotten set before they were fighting tooth and nail, surrounded by Red Hand on all sides.

Snake Eyes slid into the unthinking, purely reactive almost-meditation of a real fight. Step, duck. Cut down. Twist, parry, and lay an enemy throat open to the bone. Stab instinctively back as Tommy spun to the left, catching a Red Hand squarely under the ribs. Duck, and Tommy's sword slashed just over his head, tearing off the face of a Red hand who'd been lunging from an awkward angle.

A _kasuri-kama _spun towards him; he slid aside, and the bladed chain wrapped around one of Tommy's _ninjato._ Storm Shadow yanked the Red Hand in and gutted him, but as he fell back the hostile ninja jerked on the chain, hard.

With a sickening metallic sort of noise, Tommy's sword snapped. Storm cursed in Japanese and snatched the chain, ripping the weapon away from the dying Red Hand. Snake Eyes' own sword took off the head of a ninja trying to get behind Storm with a pair of bladed _tonfa._

The _kasuri-kama_ tore back through the air; a Red Hand turned the blade aside, only to have Tommy snap a loop of chain around his neck and break his spine with a expert jerk. Snake Eyes ducked as Tommy whipped the weapon around, flicking the blade out and directly into the eyes of an enemy ninja. The man fell back, blinded and bleeding. Snake Eyes finished him off with a precisely placed foot to the larynx.

The bladed chain flicked out again, tearing open a throat as Tommy simultaneously drove a fist wrapped in several loops of chain into the temple of another enemy. There was a sickening cracking of bone, and the man keeled over. Snake Eyes twisted himself in a contortion that would have made a yogi proud, managing to avoid two _sai_ and a _tanto_. He sliced open the throat of one enemy, the leg and femoral artery of another, and thrust-kicked the third back and onto the ground, where she landed on the fallen sword of an already dead ninja.

A few minutes later, and it was over. Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow were left standing, bloodied but more or less intact. Snake Eyes finally managed to get a accurate count on the Red Hand agents they'd faced.

Twenty-three. Not counting the ones dead over by the motorcade. He wiped the blood off of his blades on one of the Red Hand's uniforms and sheathed them.

Tommy was examining the remains of his sword with an aggravated expression. He sighed. "Well, at least I've still got its twin…I can have another made." Another sigh. "I hate it when that happens. " He turned his attention to the _kasuri-kama _still coiled around his arm. His expression brightened. "I don't believe it…Tadayoshi steel."

Snake Eyes looked over sharply. *They didn't make anything but swords.*

"I didn't think so either, but look at the makers mark…and the temper lines and color are right." Tommy looked rather like a child who'd just found the newest game system under the Christmas tree. "I thought the balance was too good for the Red Hand's usual weapon smith."

Snake examined the _kasuri-kama_ skeptically. He felt his eyebrows rise, and let out a low whistle. *I don't believe it.*

"Mine." Tommy coiled the weapon up and tucked it into his belt. "Tadayoshi hasn't made _anything_ since the thirties…I must have done something right and made whatever gods may exist _very_ happy."

They made their way back to the motorcade. Snake counted four more dead Red Hands, each with the clean, artfully placed bullet holes in their skulls that were Low Light's calling card.

The fighting was over; the Joes were victorious, but they'd taken losses. The Red Hands had killed five of the guards on the armored truck before he and Tommy had managed to distract them. Snake Eyes shook his head sadly; he hated seeing his comrades go down, and it was something he'd seen far too often in his long career.


	23. Chapter 23

"You two!"

Snake Eyes turned at Lifeline's voice. The medic was standing by a Humvee, waving them over. "You're both hurt…get over here."

Tommy frowned. "I'm fine…there have to be people worse off."

"Yeah, worse off than the two men who just used themselves as human decoys for a couple dozen pissed off ninja…but no, I've already taken care of the others. Pulled a bullet out of Stalker, bandaged up Scarlett and Clutch, and everyone else was fine."

Snake Eyes tensed.

"Relax, Snake…she's fine. Just got grazed. Everyone is fine…except for the five recruits that the Red Hands got." Lifeline's eyes clouded. "Couldn't do anything for them." He sounded rather like he was taking that fact personally.

He sat them both down in the back of the Humvee as the motorcade lurched back into motion. "I'm glad to see you both walking under your own power…I was expecting one or both of you to either be in critical condition or dead, I admit. Storm, shirt off…is _all_ of that blood yours?"

"No." Tommy peeled off his bloodied _gi_ top. "Enough of it, though. I don't think any of them are deep, fortunately."

"What did you _say_?" Lifeline swiftly bandaged a shallow slice along Tommy's ribs and a deeper, shorter cut on his left forearm. "One moment, and we were getting our asses handed to us…the next they were all chasing after you two. Low Light's ecstatic; he got something like seven kill shots in on them while they were haring after you. Beach and Flint are both saying that they're putting in for some sort of medal for you…you saved a lot of men by getting them to go after just the two of you, and salvaged the mission. They almost had the truck open, you know. Scarlett's furious that our intel didn't mention that there were Red Hand agents in the US."

"Red Hands and true Arashikage don't get along well." Tommy said shortly. "I basically called them honorless scum and invited them to come and get a piece of Snake Eyes and myself…_ow_!" Tommy winced as Lifeline cleaned a long cut across the back of his shoulders with disinfectant.

"Hold still; you've got dirt in here…you're both damned lucky that you didn't get reduced to small cubes." The medic bandaged the cut and cut Storm Shadow's pant leg open to examine what looked like a stab wound. "Very lucky; none of these are bad. Right. You're done, Storm. Snake Eyes, shirt off."

"Not lucky, skilled." Tommy pulled his shirt back on. "Snake and I are better than any Red Hand. I knew we'd get cut up a little, though; when you face down that many enemies, you're going to get cut. No way around it."

*Trick when you know you're going to get cut one way or another is to accept the lesser, nonvital hit.* Snake Eyes shrugged off his bandolier and unzipped his bodysuit to the waist. *Pain tolerance helps too.*

Lifeline shook his head and finished tending to a shallow cut just under Snake's left shoulder and glanced at the ninja's forearm. His forehead wrinkled. "I could have sworn your sleeve was ripped there…"

*It was. The strike glanced off one of my hidden knives.*

Lifeline shrugged and moved on to Snake's next cut. After he finished taping up Snake Eyes' collection of nicks and cuts, the medic suddenly looked at Tommy as if he'd just realized something. "Hey…don't you usually carry two swords?"

Storm Shadow scowled. "Yes."

"What happened? You two are absolutely paranoid about your weapons."

"An exceptionally lucky Red Hand-and I'm _glad_ I gutted him, that's about as slow and painful a death as you can get-broke it." Storm Shadow groaned suddenly. "He might have still been sort of alive when we left him…gut wounds can take awhile to kill. I should have brought him back and let you patch him up so that I could kill him _again…_I don't _like_ it when people break my weapons."

"Anyone I patch up is off limits for further maiming so long as they're in my care." Lifeline said severely. "You can be absolutely sadistic, but you know that already." The medic's expression went sympathetic. "I'm sorry about your sword, man…one of those things can't be cheap."

"No, they aren't...fortunately, the American taxpayer gets to buy me a new one. Unfortunately it takes Myamoto Taikan a month to make one from scratch…and he knows better than to give me one off his shelf." Tommy glanced out the window, and shifted irritably. "Again, fortunately he already has my measurements and specifications…I'll send in the order when we get back to base."

"Might as well settle down…I doubt we'll get ambushed again, and I don't think we'll be stopping for awhile…Storm?.._What_?..."The medic let out an alarmed yelp as Tommy suddenly cracked the door open and eeled his way out of the backseat and up onto the roof of the vehicle. A _tabi-_clad heel kicked the door shut.

*He doesn't like being cooped up when he's on a mission if he doesn't absolutely have to be.* Snake signed calmly as Lifeline sputtered. *He likes to be able to keep an eye on things.*

"_We're in a vehicle and doing fifty!"_ Lifeline scowled up at the Humvee's roof.

*He'll be fine. I've done the same thing more than a few times.*

"And you wonder why Psyche-Out is always trying to get evaluations done on you two…" Lifeline sighed. "If he falls off, I am not going to give him painkillers when I stitch his arms back on."

*Humvees are easy to hang on to. Don't worry about him.*

The rest of the prisoner delivery went off without a hitch; Snake Eyes fully expected, however, to hear about the escape of the pair of Cobra operatives within a month. The Baroness in particular tended to be almost as difficult to keep in a jail cell as a ninja; Snake Eyes grudgingly respected her for that.

Back at the Pit and after debriefing, the mood was sober; no one liked losing comrades, even if they were relatively new recruits and not particularly friendly with many people yet.

Snake and Tommy were both dragged into the infirmary by a very insistent Lifeline, where both were examined by Doc and then stitched up. Doc shook his head as he worked on the slash on Tommy's arm.

"I swear, as soon as I get you two out of here, you manage to get yourselves cut back up." The medic sighed.

"Fight off a couple dozen Red Hand ninja and see how good you look." Tommy shifted on the table. "I hear I've got a Silver Star coming, so a few scratches seem a fairly small price to pay."

Finally released by the medics, Snake Eyes waited as the rest of the injured Joes were examined by Doc. As soon as she emerged, he snagged his fiancé' and steered her back to their room, where he anxiously examined the thick white bandage on her shoulder.

"I'm fine." She frowned at him. "I just got grazed…didn't even need stitches. Which is more than I can say for you…god, Snake; you almost made my heart stop when you took off with those Red Hands after you." She scowled. "I swear, when I get my hands on our spies…_no excuse_ for not knowing that _known _Cobra agents were smuggling damn _ninja_ into the country…Their fuckup cost us five men. When I'm done with them, they're _never_ going to land a job as so much as a _mall cop._"

*I'm just fine, Shana...but I'm in complete agreement with you on the spies the brass has feeding us intel. How do you know that's what happened?* He considered. *I could just strangle them.*

"I managed to get a few minutes alone with the Baroness as we were handing her off." Her scowl went darker. "You were right, by the way; sometimes it is easier to get intel by threatening to break limbs. Messier and somewhat reminiscent of the Spanish Inquisition, but easier. And more satisfying. The Baroness is no idiot; she knew I wasn't playing with her." She sighed. "And no…destroying their future careers will be a much longer and more painful punishment."

She suddenly pressed herself against his chest, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tight. He winced, and she hurriedly dropped her arm down a few inches, under the stitched, bandaged slice her forearm had been digging into.

He pressed his cheek against the top of her head and held her; he understood. Brushes with death, even secondhand, tended to make both of them clingy.

When she pulled off his mask and kissed him, he could feel the tension, the edge of desperation. He responded just as fiercely, and when they made love it was as much to reassure themselves that they were alive and relatively well as anything else.

Afterwards, lying barely awake and still wrapped around each other, Snake Eyes felt, somewhat guiltily, that the world was more or less right again. Five families had lost good men, but Shana was still alive, and still his, and it was wholly a selfish relief and he knew it.

Then she sighed in his arms and pressed herself a little closer against his chest, and he really didn't care if it was selfish or not.


	24. Chapter 24

A few days later as Beach dismissed them form PT, Snake Eyes heard Tommy and Banger resume an interrupted argument apparently mid-sentence.

"…But no one has _ever_ done that: I don't even _care._ I'm sure you're good, but _no one_ breaks out of Alcatraz."

Snake glanced over. This promised to be good.

Tommy looked mildly insulted. "_Solitary_ in Alcatraz. And yes, I did."

"No, you didn't. They brag about their perfect record. The one guy who almost managed practically _died…_and still didn't make it."

Tommy scowled for a second, the suddenly turned. "Roadblock! Did I or did I not escape from Alcatraz? She." A finger pointed at Banger, "thinks I'm making things up to try and impress her."

Roadblock's usually amiable face twisted into a frown. "Unfortunately, he's not putting you on. He vanished from solitary overnight, right under his guard's noses. I'm was the one who brought him in." The heavy machine gunner's face brightened. "Least I got in a few payback shots for putting Gung Ho in the hospital."

Tommy winced in memory. "Yes, you did…and truck doesn't even cover it. 'Block, you hit like a damn _train._"

"You put _Gung Ho_ in the hospital?" Banger's eyebrows went up. "Spirit claims that that man was grown in a lab around spare tanks parts." She paused. "Of course, he _is_ a marine…so that's kind of a given."

"Damn right." The marine in question shot the remark back over his shoulder. "That one did kinda hurt, by the way."

Tommy had the grace to look slightly guilty. "I apologized already…I had a mission, you were in my way and trying to stop me. Nothing personal."

Gung Ho turned; surprisingly, the man was smiling. "No hard feelings, man. Between the devil dog tat, my guns," the marine flexed, "and the scar you gave me, I can pick up any woman I want to in civvy bars."

Tommy grinned. "See? No lasting harm done."

Banger was shaking her head. "You're all mental. Alcatraz. You busted out of solitary in gorram Alcatraz. _How?"_

"Trade secret. The really sad thing-at least for the American justice system-is that it wasn't even that hard."

Snake Eyes snapped his fingers sharply. Tommy glanced over. Snake Eyes raised an eyebrow. *You never told me how you managed, you know…did you manage to slip picks past security?*

Tommy switched from English to Japanese. "No. They gave me a spring mattress."

Snake Eyes sighed and shook his head sadly. *Morons.*

"I know; it's like they _wanted _me to break out. They could have just handed me the key; at least keys only open _one_ door."

*And to get off the island? Underneath a boat?*

Tommy nodded and switched back to English. "Side note; dryer tubing makes a decent breathing tube in a pinch."

Snake Eyes smiled. *Nice.*

"Thank you." Storm buffed his fingernails on his shirt.

Lifeline, who until now had been listening to the conversation with mild interest, looked over sharply. "The water around that island is about fifty degrees. You'd have hypothermia in minutes."

Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes both snorted in unison. Tommy spoke. "Compared to snowmelt straight from the mountain, it's downright pleasant." The ninja grimaced. "Spend an hour or two under a mountain waterfall in March when there's still ice around the edges of the stream. _That_ will teach you about being cold."

Lifeline shook his head. "That's not possible. We use ice baths in hospitals to bring down dangerous fevers, and even then we have to be careful and monitor body temperature."

*You can regulate your metabolism and body temperature with proper meditation and breathing.* Snake Eyes shrugged. *We had to learn to do it right pretty quickly. Ninja training very much tends towards 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.'*

"Literally." Tommy's face was suddenly dead serious. "We lose students every now and again. But;" He grinned again. "We _didn't_ die. There's a reason Snake and I bring down the hazard pay we do; the Pentagon knows it's paying for the best."

Sherry shook her head and sped up. "Okay then. I'm going to go eat now. Bye, crazy people."

"Hey, Stormy!" That was Ace. "I've been wondering; how much does hiring a ninja run, anyways?"

Tommy raised an eyebrow. "You have someone you want dead _that_ badly?"

"Nah. If I really wanted someone dead I'd drop a few tons of high explosives on them. Just curious; Slip, Clutch, Tunnel Rat and I were wondering over poker last night."

Tommy eyed Snake Eyes in a questioning sort of way. Snake shrugged; it wasn't exactly secret information. Storm looked back at the pilot. "Let's just say I didn't used to roll out of bed for less than a hundred grand. And that's just for espionage; intimidation or assassination runs more."

"Jesus." Ace grimaced.

"Well, quality doesn't come cheap. People hire ninja when they want a job done fast, right, and without leaving evidence." Tommy shrugged.

"So, if you get captured and have to escape from detention…say, from high-level American prisons…how does that change your fee?"

"Doesn't. Escape and evasion is assumed in the contract."

Snake Eyes nodded in agreement. *For a ninja, it's all duty as usual.*

Finis

Well, I had fun writing that…hope you had fun reading it. I still find it rather gratifying that my exhaustive knowledge of pop culture and love of the English language can bring some little enjoyment to people aside from myself. It makes me feel a bit better about my ability to recite the entire original series of Star Trek and my giant pile of G.I. Joe and X-Men comics.

Ah, who am I kidding….I have never regretted my geekhood. The nerds shall inherit the earth!


End file.
